


Alevithymia

by spottyflake



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-03
Updated: 2014-09-07
Packaged: 2018-01-14 11:28:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 53,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1264762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spottyflake/pseuds/spottyflake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Otherwise known as The Other Levi). </p>
<p>One day Levi drinks a tea brewed for him by Hanji, and things-especially himself-are never the same from that day forward.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very very first fan fiction, so please give feedback in any shape or form because I reckon I may NEED it. Also; enjoy. :D

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bit of an intro really, it does get better I promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I have another version of this story up on fanfiction.net and it's exactly the same as this, but I've re-written chapter seven onwards. PLEASE GO AND READ THAT IF YOU WANT A HIGHER QUALITY OF STORY. Because I don't really like the rest of this story version. If you do go onto ff.net, you get rewarded with smut in chapter 14 of that version... (either that or I post the ff.net version as part of a series for this fic on AO3)

Eren woke with a loud gasp when he heard the bang of his prison bar door. He sat up in shock and squinted toward the entrance to see Hanji standing outside his room, smiling brightly with her teeth gleaming against the darkness of his cell. A candle flickered beneath her, making her look a bit… evil. 

“Good morning, Eren Yaeger! Get yourself ready today for some FUN.” 

She skipped away down the dreary passage-way, taking away with her the light of her candle, leaving him in pitch darkness once again. 

He half sighed and half groaned as he flopped back down on his mattress. It was great to get out of the cell and do training or whatever, but at five o’clock in the morning? Eren didn’t have a window in his cell, but he knew he was woken up at about that time. Damn dawn. The morning chorus. Urgh. These Recon Corps sure had it hard. 

As he was rubbing the sleep away from his eyes, the smell of omelette wafted to his senses and suddenly he was awake. Very much awake. Now wide eyed and raring to go. He kicked his thin, slightly dirty blankets from on top of him, not caring that they landed messily on his bumpy mattress and twisted himself out of bed. 

When he tried to open the large metal door, it wouldn’t budge. He shook it. Still nothing. Eren heard a steady stream of footsteps and a patronizing click of the tongue, a light grew brighter as it came towards Eren. 

“Are you so stupid as to try to escape when we’re all asleep? I can’t even applaud you for your efforts, brat.” 

As usual Corporal Levi ended his sentence with “brat” as he always did when talking to Eren. Not that it surprised him today, but his lack of trust in Eren made him annoyed. He rolled his eyes discreetly.

“Hanji was just here. I thought she’d opened the door because I heard a bang when I woke up.” 

He glanced at Levi timidly through his messy brown bangs as he realized his tone was harsh. “Sir.” 

“Tch. Yeah well, I doubt even Hanji would let you loose and just leave. The least she would do would be to ask hour long questions and attempt to dissect your goddamn filthy body while she thought no-one was looking.” 

Eren shuddered internally; a little at the thought of being dissected but mostly from the memory of having Hanji talk for any amount of excessive time. Never, just never again would he let Hanji put him through that after the night he stayed up with her as she explained about the titans, all of which he’d already known about. Even if Hanji was one of the few, nice Recon Corps that talked to him sometimes, just…no. 

Eren watched Levi’s calm face as he twisted the key in the lock, pausing for a long moment to glare at Eren for no reason in particular other than to make him uncomfortable, then opened the door which creaked loudly and echoed into the long tunnels. 

“Move your ass, Eren.” 

He’d only been here for a few days, but Eren was now accustomed to walking with Levi who would usually talk collectedly about what he’d be doing that day. Today, they walked in comfortable silence, or as comfortable as one was capable of in Levi’s intimidating presence. It allowed Eren to wake up a little more and prepare mentally for a long and tiresome day. 

The candle in Levi’s small hand flickered as they walked. At first, it had scared Eren to walk around in the dark with only a tiny flame to light the way it made him feel claustrophobic and nervous. But now, he treasured any source of light because it was much better than the agonisingly lonely pitch darkness of his cell. 

They reached the dinning hall where the smell of egg and omelette filled the room and gave it a cosy morning atmosphere, much like the one he missed from his old home in Trost. He scanned the tables which were mostly full of people who crowded around each other in their groups, talking and laughing loudly. 

Out of nowhere, Hanji bounded up to them and greeted Levi with a “Your morning dose of pipin’ hot lovin’ Heichou!” and thrusted a cup of scalding tea into his hand. 

Eren winced at the fact that Levi didn’t flinch at the heat. Levi glanced up at Hanji with an angry expression and held the cup with his hand over the top, his fingers grasping the cup by it’s outer rim (Seriously how did he even drink his tea like that?!) as he took a sip. Eren watched him with a growing interest at the movement of his wrist but hurriedly looked away as Levi glared and almost met eyes with him. He felt some heat rush to his face as he looked ahead of him.

As Eren and Hanji walked towards the kitchen to be served food, Eren looked back at Levi when he couldn’t hear his footsteps. He was frowning slightly at his tea and mumbling something along the lines of “-damn cheapskate pigs and their lousy low quality herbs.”

When Eren had gotten his food, piled onto a tray, he looked for a place to sit. He had to really consider where he sat so that no-one felt targeted and he’d already found out that although people were nice and spoke to him, at the drop of a knife (a spoon in his case) everyone was ready to attack him to defend themselves. Everyone in this room was. 

So he sat at the far end of a table where there was only one chair anyway and began to tuck into his food. At first, everyone had been really polite and spoken to him, probably out of pity but now they all chatted loudly and laughed easily. It bothered him a lot that his friends weren’t here, but hey ho; he was helping humanity even so. At least, he would help everyone. Eventually.

“Eventually” was taking a fucking long and exhausting time.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi don't feel good-what now?

That day was spent cleaning and repairing areas of the castle. He was quite happy to do this, only Levi was always checking up on him then telling him to clean it from scratch, and that was when he was in a good mood. 

He was on his back for every unnoticeable smudge, no, make that every particle of dust and it was unbelievably difficult to restrain himself from screaming “It’s clean! It’s clean! It’s so fucking clean that when I look for my reflection in the floorboards I see hell staring back at me!”

But ah, no, he had to be in control at all times and even though he truly hated to let it have a leverage over him; he had to admit that Levi was an amazing leader. So that meant no shouting at him. Urgh. 

He settled for taking his anger out on the not so innocent stain on the floor that would never quite disappear enough for Levi’s lowest standard. 

During the day, when he had to replace the dirty water in his bucket, he walked past Levi in the hallway. He saw Levi grind his teeth as he leant against the wall and clutched his head. He hissed inwardly and clamped his eyelids shut in discomfort. 

“Sir…?” 

Levi lifted one hooded eyelid to reveal a slightly glazed look in his eye.  
“Eren…” 

Eren was taken aback by the softness in which Levi spoke his name and blushed. Suddenly Levi’s tone was harsh. 

“Little shit, what did you-” 

Levi’s knees buckled beneath him. In a panic, Eren dashed over to him. 

“Levi Heichou! Are you alright? What… D-do you need help to get to Hanji? She’s a doctor, right? To some degree anyway… Do you want to see her?” 

Eren’s voice shook at the shock of seeing a pale and weak corporal. He didn’t know, he didn’t know what to do to help him. 

Levi chuckled darkly at the mention of Hanji. 

“Fat lot of use she’ll be. I bet that bitch poisoned my tea this morning. Shit-! What the hell are you doing?!” 

Eren hoisted Levi onto his shoulder. 

“I’ll take you to your room Heichou. Whereabouts is it?” 

Levi groaned. “One floor up at the far end of the hallway to the right.” he drooped with defeat into Eren’s shoulder.

Eren struggled to keep Levi balanced on his shoulder as the latter was apparently well enough to complain that his shoulder was digging into him painfully. So now, Eren stumbled along with Levi to his room, hugging Levi’s waist to his shoulder with both hands. 

Although they hadn’t come across anyone; Eren practiced his ‘I got this’ look in case anyone tried to interrupt his little hero expedition. He was finally feeling useful, for a human no less, and it was something he felt was long overdue considering the amount of time they’d all been here in this filthy old castle. 

Levi was breathing quite heavily, so Eren decided to walk slowly so as not to hurt his chest or stomach, the shirt having come loose from under his trousers, revealing Levi’s skin which felt surprisingly warm against his bare shoulder blade. 

He’d figured that as reserved as Levi was, his body would be just as ice cold. He tried not to relish in the corporal’s bodily warmth.

Having reached Levi’s room after a few directions, Eren softly kicked Levi’s door open and carried Levi to his bed which was a neatly made, white sheeted piece in the corner furthest from the window. 

As Levi lay on his blankets Eren saw that his face was flushed rouge, including the tip of his nose, as if he were blushing. He watched as Levi breathed in and out, his chest rising and falling unsteadily with thin pink lips that were slightly parted-

He busied himself with finding a washcloth to cover Levi’s feverish forehead. He found the bathroom, a porcelain bath and sink with a light colour on the walls and beautifully polished tiles on the floor and another window with a curtain of fine, white lace, and rinsed a cloth like object in the freezing water of the sink tap. He heard Levi calling from his bed. 

“Oi, brat.” he sounded like himself, at least. 

Eren walked quickly to his room, cloth dripping in his hand. He was about to place the cloth on Levi’s forehead when he swatted it away with a limp gesture. 

“No, it’s fine. I don’t have a fever, it’s just a migraine, headache-whatever. Just do me a favour and loosen these suspenders, they’re fucking suffocating.” 

Eren looked at him uncertainly. Then, seeing no further instruction from Levi, he delicately unbuckled and peeled off the straps, hoping his corporal wouldn’t notice how his fingers lingered on his chest shakily. Levi sighed happily when they were off, causing Eren to look away in embarrassment. 

He noticed that Levi’s face looked obviously more relaxed now and couldn’t help but look at him, after realizing just how young the soldier looked. Neither of them said anything for a while, just like that morning when they’d walked to the dinning hall together and it had felt pretty nice. 

After a while of watching Levi adjust to his new breathing space and appear to fall into shallow sleep, Eren left his side to find a chair, stretching his back after having crouched for so long. He felt a tug at the back of his shirt before he could go very far. He turned to see Levi watching him with half open eyes, lying on his side and looking quite sleepy. 

“Just stay here,” he croaked. “It’ll look weird if you come out my room at this time, seeing as everyone’s about to finish up. Plus I’ve got your key and I need-” he yawned. “need to supervise you on your way down…” 

He hadn’t exactly been intending to leave quite yet but was Levi… implying that he should stay? Here, in his room? For how long? He didn’t think he could last the night breathing in Levi’s scent, which was in every corner of the room. Levi had to feel near death if he didn’t feel up to simply taking Eren to his cell in the basement.

He looked around, not sure where he should go, as Levi was still tugging onto him lightly but he knew that trying to get into Levi’s bed would be suicidal even if he was in this state.

Then again, he was renown for being the suicidal bastard…

Suddenly he yelped. 

“Ah! The water! The bucket! I forgot I forgot! I need to-” 

Levi growled at him.

“Shut the fuck up. It’s fine so stop fussing over, over…” 

And with that the grip on Eren’s shirt dropped and Levi fell fast asleep. Eren, who was also infamous for falling asleep in the most outrageous places and the least appropriate times, had been beaten in his zoning out ability by Levi, who could fall asleep mid-scolding.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi wakes up. But who IS this man who has Levi's face?!

Eren looked around Levi’s room, chuckling at the corporal who had suddenly fallen asleep mid-sentence. It was such… a spacious and bright room. The sun was setting as he could see from the window that almost filled the wall from ceiling to floor and it made the room as warm and hazy as a distant memory. It peppered the room with a peaceful stillness. 

He looked up to pale brown walls, probably cleaned thoroughly as most of the other rooms had had dampness or even mould. A bookshelf stood proud in the corner, it’s polished chestnut wood gleaming brightly as the light of the sun fell onto it, all it’s books were most likely alphabetised and the finest of the classics. 

He noticed a small desk in the other corner of the room, closest to the window that held stacks of paperwork, all neatly lined up with the pinpoint precision that Levi strived for and had. Just how much work had Levi had to do while they were here? It looked like far more than he and the elite soldiers had had to do. Eren couldn’t even write very well. 

He realized; he knew next to nothing about Levi. He didn’t even know what he did on a day to day basis, let alone personal details. What did he do in the old days in his old room here? He glanced at Levi, still on top of his covers, shivering slightly. 

Moving toward Levi, he pulled some blankets over him, watching tenderly as he slept and sighed in his sleep. 

Did he…cry himself to sleep at night? Maybe while he kept a straight, calm face around everyone else, perhaps, in his own time, he wept for the soldiers that had died, possibly who were under or even due to his command?

Eren finally become comfortable in the foreign room and lay on the couch that stood a few metres in front of the bed, having turned it to face Levi. You know. So that Levi could at least watch out for him if he suddenly turned into a titan in his sleep. But mostly so that he could keep an eye on Levi until he himself fell asleep. 

That night, he dreamt of… Well. The bad things teenage boys normally dreamt about. That might not be technically true actually. Most boys thought about girls in that way, right? And usually girls around their own age. In the dream, Levi had been straddling him as Eren lay down on soft bedding, his corporal giggling and kissing his body while Eren could do nothing but just lie there, for some reason, unable to move at free will. He felt a wetness around his crotch as he squirmed and his eyes shot open faster than he could turn into a titan. He woke up to a sensual grin and glittering grey eyes that were up close and personal. 

“Hey there Mr Hard On.”

He almost screamed as Levi sat on top of him, caressing his chest with his index finger, moving it up and down languidly. 

What the actual fuck?

Levi grinded into his groin with his ass once again (once AGAIN?!), causing Eren to almost groan wantonly, then sprang off the couch and Eren’s body. He crouched next to his face, tapping Eren’s nose as he spoke. 

“So, ever so eager Eren, what would you like first. A bath, breakfast, or me?” 

He grinned cheekily as Eren flushed from what felt like head to foot. 

As if it was obvious, Eren knew that something was not right with Levi. If that man in Levi’s room was even Levi. No way in Holy Saint Maria’s wall could that have been Levi! 

After a dream of being straddled by Levi, it turned out to not be a dream and Levi really had been grinding against his dick, he’d woken up to Levi being close enough to peer into the depths of his kindred spirit while staring and smiling at him sexily. There was absolutely no way that it could have been Levi; corporal never smiled!

All morning, Levi acted like this. After Eren had insisted on going straight to the dinning hall, rather than the alternative which uh, Levi told him would be Levi spoon-feeding him an omelette with heart shaped sauce on top (also, what was it with Recon Corps and omelettes?), Levi walked with him, as usual. 

Except this time it was from Levi’s room, not his own and Levi walked close enough beside him to be attached to his hip. Heichou talked about what they would be doing today, admittedly much more animatedly than normal and sometimes Levi randomly reached over and caressed his face or his hair with a lovesick look in his eyes and a red tint on his nose. He giggled when Eren leapt at the touch and blushed whenever Eren made polite eye contact which Eren kept to a minimal, given his body’s and mind’s state. 

Then, in the dinning hall, Levi had dragged Eren to the side of the table with two chairs, poured tea for Eren, then himself, and generally fussing over Eren to no end. Nobody was around to see this scene, which he was half thankful for but also wishing that someone could call this faker out on his bullshit. 

He touched and flirted with Eren so blatantly and loudly that it made Eren’s face turn bright pink, causing heichou to “innocently” ask if his face was the same colour as his head? With that, Eren submitted to a slight mental breakdown, panic attack shell shock or whatever it was called and excused himself, dashing to the bathroom. 

The man through there Was. Not. Levi. To make things worse, and despite his shock, Eren was unbelievably aroused from Levi’s touching and flirting and had to wait until his throbbing erection calmed in the toilet, thanking the Walls for his privacy. Heichou had smiled! And blushed! And touched him! And laughed! Well, giggling even, which was even more adorable. It all made Eren’s chest hammer as he heaved heavy breaths and his body cooled down. 

Shit! He allowed himself to admit internally that he’d sort of had a crush on his corporal, but even then, Eren told himself that it was mostly his looks, not his abrasive and reserved personality and incredible deadpan humour. But now it was an overload for his pathetically pubescent body that was crying out to be touched by this fraud that wore Levi’s face. Thankfully though that urge had mostly died down. 

Of all people, Erwin entered the bathroom just then. About to go into a cubicle until he saw Eren who was pretending to wash his hands. He frowned at the red faced teen.

“Is something the matter?” 

Oh thank sweet Holy Wall of Maria that Erwin was acting sane! Normal! Himself! Eren dashed over to the commander. 

“Have you seen Levi today? He’s gone mad! He’s gone crazy! He, he isn’t himself at all! And h-he keeps doing things to me-” 

“Doing things to you?” 

Erwin’s face seemed to cloud over, but Eren was panicking too much to notice. 

“Ye-yes sir. He’s been… well flirting with me, I guess? And smiling, oh god I’ve never seen him smile before and it’s so weird because I didn’t think it was even possible…” 

Erwin sighed. “Only you? He’s only done these things to you?” 

Eren frowned. “Well, yeah, I mean I’m the only one he’s been with today,” 

He suddenly remembered that no-one should know that he’d been in Levi’s room, for a whole night! he screamed internally. 

“A-at least that’s what he told me.” he added. 

Erwin thought for a few moments. 

“Alright,” he clapped his hands together. 

“Come with me and we’ll deal with this then.” he ordered. 

Eren complied quickly and followed him out the bathroom. After years of training camp, following orders had become a primal instinct. 

Well, almost.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi vs Erwin... Who will win?
> 
> Then some FLUFF
> 
> Then some more Erwin
> 
> (Don't you just love my summaries)

Eren suddenly felt as though he was in a very dangerous situation. He’d followed Erwin to the dinning room who’d walked up to Levi, who’d been sipping his tea and fidgeting in boredom which just added to the strangeness of Levi’s current character, and sat opposite him at the table with their food and drink. It looked very much like an interrogation, except Eren couldn’t tell who was the criminal and who was the police man. 

 

Erwin faced Levi; his shoulders were straight as if he was in a meeting but he also leaned in with a deadly serious look in his eyes. Levi also leaned in, he had regained his previous reserved air and intimidating aura but there was a smirk on his lips and his eyes shot poison at the commander. 

 

Eren quietly sat next to Levi, as if he was trying to not step on a landmine along the way. He watched the scene from Levi’s side in his chair, casually picking at his food on the plate since he was inappropriately starving. At least it felt wrong to be hungry, seeing as the suspense should have filled him up. 

 

“So Levi.” Eren said. “I heard from a little bird that you’ve become a new man and that you’re relishing in it’s benefits.” 

 

What a weird thing to say…

 

Erwin clasped his hands together on the table tightly. His tone had a chilling factualness to it. It was clear he wanted an answer to his subtle questioning. 

 

“A new man, you say? Is that what you really think? Why; I’m sure I wake up a new man every day, as each day is so enlightening. I’m sure most people feel the same way.” 

 

Levi’s smirk seemed to have difficulty in trying to not turn into a grin as he spoke coldly to the commander. Had Levi… changed back to his old self? …Already?

 

Eren looked to Levi with the confusion still swirling around his head. Erwin still glared at Levi seemingly unable to take his eyes off him, much in the same way everyone had their eyes trained on Eren, the instantaneous titan shifter, and it wasn’t something he was comfortable with. In more than one way right now.

 

“Um, Erwin…” His head snapped towards Eren, the intense look in his eyes still there. Eren focused his eyes on Erwin’s sleek blonde hair, avoiding eye contact and pushed on bravely.

 

“Maybe we should, um, just leave it since, you know. He seems fine, right? He’s… himself. Yeah he’s acting like himself, isn’t he? I think-”

 

“Levi.” Erwin said suddenly, no longer interested in Eren. “The day’s plan is to do training and I require your assistance in arranging said plan. Come to my office. Now, please.”

 

The black haired man stayed seated, sipping his tea, as if to mock his boss like a rebellious teenager. 

 

“Give me a few minutes, would you?” He asked. “I haven’t eaten much or even drunk all of my tea yet, and I’m sure everyone knows how it goes when I haven’t had my tea.” 

 

He turned his face to the table and began to eat his omelette, his fork clinking loudly in the almost empty dinning hall. Eren was astonished at Levi level headedness… Laid back attitude? Sheer stupidity? Levi was always utterly loyal to the higher ups in the way that the majority of people living in the walls were happy to remain caged up, just like the livestock they brought up and it had always made Eren furious. So for Levi to stand up to Erwin… he had to say; he was pretty proud of Levi for his bold action. If Erwin was surprised, he sure didn’t show it.

 

“Alright. That’s fine, then. Please come over once you’ve finished eating and cleaned yourself up.” 

 

His voice sounded commanding, like the list of things to do he gave Levi were orders. Like he was giving permission to Levi so he could eat his breakfast. What the fuck was up with that?” None of the soldiers he knew spoke like that to anyone. 

 

Before Eren could unleash his anger, be it verbally or physically, Erwin rose form his seat and left the dinning hall without another word, leaving the two of them in the hall alone. Once Erwin was out of ear shock, Levi put down his fork and moved his seat closer to Eren, not looking at his face while he sighed and lay his head on Eren’s arm. 

 

“Heichou…?”

 

“He’s such an ass, you know that? ‘That’s fine then.’ ” he mimicked Erwin’s deep and strict voice. He pulled a sneer in disgust. “What a jerk.” he mumbled as he leaned over to hug Eren’s sides, his head now resting on Eren’s chest and the rest of his body balancing on the edge of his seat. 

 

Eren’s mind went blank for a moment, his skin tingling and a fire raging in his chest where Levi’s face nuzzled. He cocked his head in interest and slight bewilderment. Had all that before been an act? Or was this, this undoubtedly intimate gesture, the act? 

 

“You mean you don’t like taking orders? I thought you liked being faithful to the commander.” 

 

“You’re wrong, kid.” he snuggled further into Eren, his breathing hitching every now and then as he tried to hide the fact he was smelling Eren who had the aroma of dried leaves and moss. 

 

“I like helping people, because that’s normally what I’m asked to do. I’ve got a real soft spot for helping people, I guess. But it’s times like these when he’s just being bloody selfish and I hate it because I feel like I’m being taken advantage of. Today, I just decided to let him know that I’m not just some feral pup he potty trained. I have feelings… and things I want to do other than be his slave.”

 

He thought the commander was being selfish?

 

Levi looked up to Eren with his eyebrows creasing upwards sadly and soft grey eyes that reminded Eren of a puddle on a rainy day. 

 

For the first time since Levi had a personality flip in the morning, Eren gave into Levi’s clinginess. He put his arms around him and pulled his corporal closer, burying his face into Levi’s surprisingly soft head of ebony hair. It was way too comfortable to feel embarrassed or nervous, but it still felt good and… Well, just nice really. Eren let himself relax into their embrace.

 

“Yeah, that’s true Levi, sir. That’s very true. I’m sure somewhere in that hidden heart of yours you’ve got a whole bucketful of feelings just waiting to be poured out. Although, you’d be pretty cute as a dog, I think.”

 

He might as well just roll with it. Even so, he still blushed at the fact he called heichou “cute”. He stroked Levi’s hair with one hand, the latter shivering under his touch and sighing deeply.

 

“Hey Levi, what do you want to do? Seeing as you’re not his slave for just now.” 

 

Why was he saying this? He escaped Levi’s hair and looked down to see a wide eyed and blushing Levi with his lips tightly closed timidly. Who was in his goddamn arms. He melted at the sight of him. Yeah; this was exactly why.

 

“Well… Usually, I clean when I have spare time. Or just at anytime at all.” 

 

Eren laughed, crinkling his nose and eyes as the bubbly sound echoed the room. 

 

“I-I also read the books in my room. Mostly at night. A lot of them are mystery novels, I think.” 

 

Levi smiled as he told Eren those random little details that would seem meaningless to anybody else. But in that closed space between them it was an important push of progress in their relationship. (What kind of relationship are we talking about now? Cause damn, it’s getting cosy in here.) Eren grinned, completely immersed in his conversation with Levi about a couple of little things, that weren’t really little things at all. Hell, he would have been able to talk to Levi about anything just like this for hours…Unlike Hanji. 

 

“You know Levi, I might just not let you drink your tea in the morning from now on if it makes you talk to me like this. Not to mention this.” 

 

He squeezed Levi tightly who yelped beneath him in surprise then giggled. When Eren let him go, Levi sat up, his hair sticking out at all sorts of odd angles as if he had bed-head and slowly drank his tea.

 

“Nope, no can do kid.” he mock scowled at Eren then broke into a big smile. 

 

“Don’t ‘kid’ me corporal. Otherwise I’m gonna do this.”

 

He poked Levi in the ribs who spluttered and laughed at the ticklish spot. Seeing his weakness, Eren kept at it, until Levi, still convolved in laughter grabbed his hands in his and gazed mischievously into Eren’s eyes. 

 

For some reason, only now did Eren gulp. His hands began to shake lightly and he felt the heat churning in the pit of his stomach. With Levi there, right in front him and in his arms, so fucking beautiful with sparkling eyes and pale, supple skin and a goddamn cheeky grin on his lips, it made Eren realize just how aware his entire being was of Levi. How much he wanted to kiss him all over. How Levi made his breathing quicken and his mind a mess mixed with ecstasy. How Levi was capable of blanking his mind apart from himself and not even realizing what he was doing. 

 

He could slip right into the romance with a kiss. Everything was perfectly set up for it, the mood, the tension, the look in his eyes and Eren was taken aback by the overwhelming urge to kiss this man. Should he?

 

Before Eren got the chance to decide on his love life, his stomach rumbled and Levi laughed, breaking their stare and untwining their fingers. He reached back to the table, picking up the remainder of Eren’s abandoned breakfast with his own fork and spoon feeding Eren his omelette. He wasn’t really ready to be embarrassed about this particular ritual but he begrudgingly accepted the food in his mouth, trying not to laugh. He didn’t tell Levi that his food was stone cold already. Why would he need to, when Levi was as adorable as this? 

 

Far from the oozing love scene in the dinning hall, Erwin stormed through the murky passageways in a flying rage. Why the fuck had Levi spoken to him like that? Wasn’t he supposed to be loyal? It was that fucking titan’s fault, sitting there beside him spilling his food all over himself like the shitty, bratty kid he was and somehow Levi didn’t even notice or try to clean it up. 

 

This hadn’t been the plan.

 

The little shit was playing his part fine and fucking dandy.

 

But Levi, god it had taken him every sense of restraint to keep talking like a civilised man when Levi had been talking to him in that spicy manner of his. That was, until he noticed that Levi was enjoying the cold war between them, he’d seen his eyes twinkling in excitement just like that fucking kid. He wasn’t acting like he should have been for the plan to work. He’d prepared for something like this. Or, at least he would. Eventually. And that eventually had to come bloody quick before this game was over and he lost it. 

 

His footsteps banged loudly as the after-step echo followed, his boots tinkling with their buckles as he made his way to the room. In his rush, he’d forgotten to wear his cape, leaving him in his white shirt and suspenders as he froze in the dark-ass tunnels. His arms swung by his sides, keeping in time with his aggressive stride. 

 

Finally, he made it; his destination. He paused outside the room but not for long, not bothering to straighten himself up because he didn’t see the fucking need to if all he would be seeing was the bitch. 

 

He lowered his eyebrows in his practiced glare and crashed through the wooden door.

 

“Hanji; you have half a second to get the fuck out from wherever you are and tell me what the hell you’ve done.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So... Hanji starts spouting. 
> 
> Then Eren goes all weird?

“Ah! Erwin; just the man I wanted to see! Have you seen the effects? It’s incredible! I didn’t think it would work so quickly, only after a day and night, it seems? My, my, it’s been terribly fun studying them from the shadows but I’ve more than likely missed half of the behind the scene action!”

“What ‘would work’ Hanji?”

Hanji had that look on her face as she half sat, half bounced in her desk chair. Papers with scraggly writing were messily sprawled all over the work top and a dozen lanterns lit the room from the undecorated stone walls. Her eyes widened in delight and her mouth gaped open, her tousled hair and the bags under her eyes were the evidence that she’d been up for several hours too long. She gathered her thoughts while she blinked at him stupidly a couple of times. Then it all came pouring out.

“See, at first when he took the drug, he didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary, which is pretty big, and he started acting loopy the day after; I thought it was just a gland hypo function or an infection in the nervous system or maybe even a-”

“Hanji.” Erwin barked. “Your point, please.” His voice was soaked with sarcasm on the ‘please’. He knew he had the uncanny ability to sound rude even when he spoke politely and he used it to his full advantage when it came to dealing with the soldiers lower than his level.

Hanji ignored his disdain and tried to simplify her thoughts for the commander.

“Right, so… So that you understand, commander, I thought that the potion, the love potion as you put it, I thought it had worked.”

“What-you mean it didn’t?!” Erwin swiftly moved from the door to her desk, slamming his hands hard on top of the surface with a loud bang. His face contorted in anger.

“Well,” Hanji kept a straight face, trying not to laugh at his desperation. “There were some effects that released the chemical of, let’s say, there was a knock on effect that resulted in the chemical of love. This emotion released in the brain but my theory is that it wasn’t the potion at all, since there was nothing in the liquid I gave him that could have done that. I mean, it’s impossible.” 

Erwin frowned, not able to take it in. 

“So, it didn’t work… but it still did?”

“Erwin.” She grabbed his shirt collar violently but spoke softly with bright eyes. “It wasn’t the potion that made Levi fall in love with Eren. It was his personality change that allowed him to express his already reciprocating feelings towards Eren.”

“Towards Eren?! Hanji, that isn’t what the plan was at all! I told you to make Eren fall in love with Levi! Not the other way around!”

She let go of Erwin, sitting back in her seat, clasping her hands together.

“Erwin; “reciprocating”. Consider what that means. After studying them it was embarrassingly obvious that Eren already liked Levi to a great extent.” Not that you’d notice, you big idiot. “You know, you were in quite a rage about the whole thing, so I didn’t really hear it all and misunderstood it a little. Not to mention the pressure of being killed by a dagger to the neck that probably put me into action quicker. And you’re still to tell me what this is all about. Making people fall in love with each other. Are you that eager to see them dating?” 

She pointed a finger at him, peering at him from above the top of her lens.

“I at least ask that you tell me eventually, even if I messed it up a smidge.”

“Why?” he asked.

“I’m only human, right? As that is the sad truth. I’m curious. And I’m also interested in finding out what going on in that fucked up brain of yours, seeing as I can’t dissect it...yet.”

He rolled his eyes at her, the whites almost glowing in the light of the lanterns.

“I can tell you now and forever that that isn’t happening. Ever. Not even over my dead body. In fact, especially not over my dead body because I know you’d wait for the chance then to do it.”

“The dissecting or the telling?”

He glared at her. “Both.”

“Erwin!” She screeched as she collapsed onto the floor, pulling papers down with her. 

Erwin left the room and the maniac in it, ignoring its cries.

“Tell me if anything interesting happens. You should have told me about how Eren is already in love with Levi.”

He slammed the door shut as he hurried to his office.

A personality change, huh? And Eren being in love with Levi. And Levi with mutual feelings. He pushed that thought to the back of his mind, not denying the fact that it bothered him. Because why the hell would he? The situation could have it’s advantages. But considering that morning’s encounter with Levi, and his own feelings in the mix, it might not actually be a good thing. At all. 

Suddenly he stopped mid pace and grinned to himself in the darkness. He had the perfect plan. The perfect back up plan.

Later that day, when the soldiers assembled in the grassy field for training, Petra glanced towards Eren and Levi yet again. Like everyone else who was sane enough to see the titanic change in Levi. They were sparring, Levi with heavy punches and Eren with flitting kicks. The other soldiers tried to spar as well, but ended up just confusedly staring at Levi, helpless because this wasn’t what they’d trained for. 

Beside her, Auruo stood grimacing as he took in the scene before him, blatantly staring at them because it wasn’t like they’d notice. Being as self absorbed as they were just then.

“Do you think something’s up with those two?”

When the horses arrived with the corporal on its back, everyone had been gaping. Before hopping off, he’d smiled at the horse and stroked its mane affectionately. Then he’d immediately sought out Eren and began talking and laughing with him. Eren, who ignored Heichou’s flirtatious kisses with a surprisingly straight face, signalled to the soldiers that Levi had been drinking one too many. It was a painfully evident lie. They knew that Levi was an angry drunk after having once had a drinking party. But due to the shock of Levi’s behaviour no-one dared to question his sudden change in attitude and new quirks, for fear of him snapping back and sending them to their deaths for mocking him behind his back. 

It felt like some sort of test. This made Petra and seemingly everyone else uneasy and cautious, causing them to dart their eyes in the direction of Levi to make sure he wouldn’t attack them out of the blue. 

At Petra’s question, Auruo turned just looked at her, boring his eyes into her belittlingly as he looked down at her and smirked.

“Of course not. Levi always swoops around Eren; it’s always been such a laugh for us when he teases him. He’s forever smiling and shitting fucking rainbows out his goddamn ass that everyone knows Eren is doing each night. Levi has such an endearing and charismatic character. Don’t you think?” 

Petra frowned and felt a growing anger burning in her fist. 

“Stop swearing and being sarcastic. Levi doesn’t swear every second sentence and his jokes actually have taste, so you sound nothing like him.”

Especially not now, when Levi sounded nothing like his usual self, in fact it was the total opposite of his rude and alienating comments. She swore she’d heard Levi use a pun. To which she’d almost cried out in pain. 

She nudged Auruo and pointed to Eren. 

“So Levi’s definitely acting weird. But what about Eren?” Her sky blue eyes looked up at Auruo with a look of worry carved into them. Auruo frowned at that, taking her seriously now.

Earlier when Eren had arrived at the field he’d been very quiet. He didn’t go to speak to anyone like he usually did. In fact, he’d been cold to everyone, giving them closed answers and not making eye contact with anyone. Not even Levi, who was all over him and trying to get words out of him with cheeky questions. His face was a mask without emotion but if Petra had to choose, she’d say he looked awkward and depressed. It couldn’t have been Levi‘s strangeness. When Eren was embarrassed he was flustered and spoke stupidly. When he was angry he was expressive and well, angry. What was he thinking about that made his face look like it had been chiselled from stone? Just what had happened to both of them?

Now, even their fighting tactics were different. For some bizarre reason Levi charged into Eren, as if disregarding the height and build difference, with wide eyes that were alive with adrenaline and excitement. He scarcely dented into his opponent, who clearly knew what he was doing. And instead of calculating his movements he threw punches messily and impulsively. Meanwhile Eren had just smirked at Levi smugly, every now and then letting out a ‘tch’ when Levi missed a hit. He dodged every one of Levi’s chaotic blows and managed more punches and kicks then ever before in a match with Levi. His previous record was somewhere around zero. 

Petra watched from a few meters away at the picnic table, not able to sit down because the fight looked serious, deadly serious and she was ready to jump in there and stop them if she had to. When she looked around, she saw that others were the same, ending their attempt at sparring and spreading out evenly in a circle around the fight. Her gaze moved back to the duo, her eyes shot wide open and her eyebrows raised in amazement. 

Eren, the clear winner of that round and all the previous, landed a final punch that sent Levi flying four meters and who landed on his back with a crack. Eren pulled in his outstretched hand, eyes watching Levi closely, preparing for any counter attacks. 

“Time out!” Gunther cried out. 

He looked petrified and hyper alert, just as he had done when Eren had burst out into the form of a titan that one time during lunch. Petra had the memory of that incident stowed in her, knowing that she had to be wary of Eren, even though it hurt to be so untrusting of him. 

Gunther ran towards them both. But Eren seemed to have no intention to fight again. Petra sprinted to them too, Eren peered down at Levi with a hooded glare that was all too familiar to Petra, but just not on that face with those messy brown bangs and brilliant green eyes. It sent a chill down her spine. Something was very wrong.

“Eren…” she whispered to him.

“What?” he asked her. 

He looked bored and irritated. How could he look so uncaring when he’d just knocked out Levi?!

“Don’t you think you’ve done enough now? Is… everything alright?”

Eren looked at her, tilting his head and frowning slightly.

“Yes, everything’s fine. Why do you ask?” he glanced at Levi. “Well. Maybe his ego is a bit bruised but his body won’t have a scratch on it. This is Levi we’re talking about here.”

And this is the transforming guy with colossal, inhuman strength who just knocked out an elite titan killing soldier that I’m talking with!

He smirked slightly, almost affectionately to Levi, seemingly regaining his usual cheekiness. 

“Come on, old man. You aren’t out of it already are you? What’s another round to that physique of yours?”

Levi no longer heaved his chest deeply. At hearing Eren’s taunt, he leapt up, scaring the others around him who’d tried to revive him. His eyes were ablaze and furious.

Eren chuckled.

“Perhaps that’s not such a good idea after all.” he stared at Levi, leaving him with his eyebrows raised and mouth open in fear. 

Eren gave a small, genuine smile that relaxed Levi. He grinned happily and walked over to him, slinging his arm around the taller man and laughing. 

“That was so awesome! Geez, you really got me there Eren! I thought I was a total goner for a second there. Ha, I knew you had potential! Why didn’t you fight like this from the beginning? Could’ve saved us a lot of time and resources you know.”  
Levi smirked and brushed his lips against the nape of Eren’s neck, standing on his tip toes as he did so. 

“I just had a marvellous idea where we could do a little “roleplaying” with that “Commander Eren” persona of yours tonight. Your teasing certainly did some interesting things to me out in the field. I doubt Erd will look at me the same way again.” 

Eren’s lifeless face broke out into a blush, his mouth contorted in discomfort as he steadily grew more and more embarrassed. He avoided Levi’s warm gaze, but he didn’t move away. Then he looked at Levi properly and smiled broadly, his eyes crinkling as he gave a short breath of laughter. 

Thank the Walls. He seemed back to himself, and it was as if the dark spell that had come over him had never even happened. He spoke to the other soldiers, asking them how they’d got on with their sparring, apparently unaware that they’d been watching his fight instead of training. Petra loosened her shoulders in relief. Her knees almost buckled as the weight of worry lifted off her shoulders. 

Eren was back, if not Levi. Eren had seemed scarily dangerous, so Petra didn’t blame herself for being focused on him alone. And being honest, Levi smiling was an amazing change of pace. But, thinking of it now, as she stared at them both in disbelief while they chatted with the soldiers beside the horses, she couldn’t even consider what had happened to make them act like this. She followed the soldiers as they mounted their horses, evidently emotionally drained after the fight, except Levi and Eren who calmly started leading the way back to the castle, side by side. 

What in good heaven was going on?


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Discussions in the dining hall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I have another version of this story up on fanfiction.net and it's exactly the same as this, but I've re-written chapter seven onwards. PLEASE GO AND READ THAT. Because I don't really like the rest of this story version. If you do go onto ff.net, you get rewarded with smut in chapter 14 of that version... (either that or I post that version as a separate series for this fic on AO3)

Levi’s laugh. Loud and clear. Echoing around the walls of the castle dining room like bells in a church. Eren stared at the man that sat beside him, like everyone else at the table, still unable to fathom how such a miracle could occur. Eren was their number one suspect and their intense glances sent shivers down his spine. They’d sat together in the morning but this time, there were others to watch them interact, looking as though they knew they were witnesses to a crime.

The lanterns were bright in the room, radiating a warm glow as if to match Levi’s laugh. He was talking to Erd and Gunther animatedly, telling them about the time he and Erwin had let loose a chicken by accident in the market. They’d spent all day and half the night looking for it, calling out ridiculous names for it to respond to and getting stuck in several small spaces. Erd frequently glanced over to Eren, who was entangled in Levi’s arm, eyes narrowed as if he expected a damn good explanation for all this. But Eren knew just as little as Erd or anyone else in the room about why Levi had become so friendly and cheerful. Frighteningly so. But when things were like this, when the room had such a pleasant atmosphere as they listened to Levi, no-one really felt the need to call them out on it. Either that or they weren’t that bothered.

Eren only wished that he’d been with Levi that day, had seen the angry market man with his livestock, his beard of “duck weed” and searched with him in the fields and town to look for the little, troublesome chicken. He wished he could’ve been Erwin that day, who’d seen Levi’s anger as he shouted at the market man, seen his usual skulking scowl and heard his inventive and rude complaints. Erwin who’d spent hours upon hours in Levi’s presence, all in one day and a half. Erwin was nice to Eren. Eren had admired his status as a child, he was friendly the first time they’d spoken, and he’d been helpful to him too like that morning. Maybe he could tell Eren more about Levi? Levi was a mysterious, reserved man, so it wasn’t unlikely that people would wonder about him. It wouldn’t be strange to ask, surely?

He had the Levi of now, though, Levi’s warm arm around his own-something Erwin had never had. Levi had his sleeved rolled up, exposing bare flesh, toned muscles and millions of fine hairs that escalated up his arms and stood on end in the chilled air of the dining room. Eren stared with soft eyes. It was beautiful. Levi was very beautiful.

“And when we finally got the guy his damn chicken back, trailing back across town to give it back to him the next morning, and held it out to him, you know what he said? ‘You tryin’ at sell me a chicken, son? I didn’a know you wis a farmer, who’re you? You new to the business? I’ll give yeh John’s good ol’ tips.’”

Levi mimicked the market man’s accent, thick and heavily drawled out. Eren tittered, unable to hold it back. Not that anyone noticed, thankfully. They were too involved in Levi’s story. He kept his eyes on the table as he listened.

“I had to try so hard, my best, not to pull a gun from my back pocket on his temple right there on the spot. Took up all my willpower to do that. Erwin, the idiot, he just told the man I was mistaken and he… Afterwards he told me to keep it. Keep the chicken and raise it as our own.” Levi looked thoughtful for a moment, a fond smile playing on his lips. “Yeah, that was it, he told me to call it Assassin because it had been that good at hiding from us and we’d said that that chicken would be the death of us, so Assassin it was. Also, it had looked very ready to kill us when we caught her stealing corn from a field.”

Eren laughed at that, his shoulders shaking and his stomach already beginning to hurt. He looked at Levi, who looked back at him happily.

“Hey, Levi Heichou, do you still have Assassin?”

“No. She died years ago of old age. We’d kept her in the shed when we stayed here back then. We were able to hide her really well in there because it was far enough from the castle.” he rested his chin on the base of his hand, elbow beside his plate of mostly untouched food, his other hand slid down to occupy Eren’s.

“We should’ve had another one, though. Poor bird looked really lonely and she never made much noise. Animals shouldn’t ever be locked up or kept as pets unless it’s necessary, but if they are then they should at least have a friend.”

He sighed sadly, looking down at the table, his thumb caressing the knuckles on Eren’s fingers. Eren gaped at him. That was… That was adorable. Who knew Levi thought things like that? Levi noticed his staring, as did everyone else, and smiled at him bashfully. His eyes sparkled because yay! Eren was looking at him! And Eren looked so cute…

Levi caressed the boy’s wrist, lifting his hand to entwine it with his and kissed the back of it, grey eyes smoothly looking into his green ones. Eren felt like a butterfly had just landed on his hand. Except, the area that Levi kissed tingled and made his breathing quicken, only able to see the man in front of him.

Across the table, Auruo coughed and squirmed uncomfortably in his chair, desperate to ask something. The two broke their gaze to look at him, Levi dropped their hands, still holding onto Eren.

“Lance Corporal, are… are you and that kid together? You know, together-together…?”

It was one of those rare moments when Auruo didn’t look smug or bored. He looked uneasy as he watched Eren blush while Levi clung onto him tighter with a fierce gaze set on Auruo.

“If that were the case, would it bother you?” His eyes slowly scanned the faces at the table. “Would it bother you all if that were true?” Eren felt Levi’s hand getting warmer as he became nervous.

“Not at all.” Petra immediately told them.

There were a couple of “I guess not’s” and a sarcastic “I didn’t see that one coming’s”. Then Gunther added something else to the mix.

“What would the higher ups think of that though?” he looked at Eren and Levi hastily.

“Considering you’re under surveillance, under arrest and also um, underage… is a relationship between you two legal?” his eyes flickered between Levi and Eren.

“I mean, I couldn’t be happier for you two; age difference and same sex-I don’t care, but… I don’t want it to go badly for you and everyone else, either.”

The dining room plummeted to a silence. It was tense and heavy with the weight of years until Eren spoke up, his heart racing, face and ears flushed bright red and his skin burning hot in Levi’s grip. Levi had implied they were together, and everyone had taken him seriously. Of course they would. This was Levi, whether they thought it was or not.

“Would you be willing to keep quiet about it?”

Before, Eren had been told that the soldiers couldn’t trust him. It was their job not to, under every circumstance. Even so, he’d had to control himself, he couldn’t lose it and try to turn and forced himself to listen to their side of the story, even if they could never fully trust him. Could he trust them, though? He’d never had the opportunity to think about it before. It made him even more nervous.

Everyone looked down at the table, deep in thought, knowing that they could get fired, imprisoned for the treason of lying and also understanding quietly that it was a huge thing for Eren to ask them to do something.

“I wouldn’t tell.” Erd told them, his face was calm but his eyes glittered at the thought of having a secret to keep.

“Of course, I’d be willing to keep quiet about it. I want what’s best for you and what makes you happy.”

Petra smiled broadly at them. If their relationship meant that Levi, the man with the eternal scowl and furrowed brow, was happy and Eren, a boy who’d pretty much lost everything but moronic hope, had faith in something, it couldn’t be more worth it. Gunther nodded in agreement to Petra. She looked toward Auruo worriedly, not knowing how he would answer and nudged him with her elbow.

His eyes narrowed as he sat back in his chair, tilting it back to put a foot on the table. He attempted a smirk.

“You think you’re good enough for humanity’s strongest soldier? Tch. He must be beside a well of pity for you, or doing it for a good f-” Out of nowhere he bit his tongue, his hands flying to his mouth as his foot fell from the table. His eyes watered as he glared at Eren, then looked at Levi who was still giving him his own, much more deadly glare. His cockiness evaporated. He sighed.

“Fine. Whatever. Secret it is. But one slip up from you, Jaeger, and it won’t be the higher ups you’ll have to worry about.”

Eren paled as everyone looked at him expectantly. He’d just been informed that he was currently together with Levi, whatever that meant, and now he would have to take responsibility for the man’s happiness as if they’d just swapped vows. It was way too much to take in in one day, on top of everything else. From the morning straddle to training to now. It had been an exhaustingly long day and it still wasn’t over yet.

“Deal. I‘ll make sure that Levi is happy and you‘ll promise not to tell anyone Levi and I are t-together.”

“Deal.” the table said in unison.

Levi looked over to Eren, still clinging onto his arm. His eyes crinkling as he smiled at Eren.

“You’re blushing, you know. It’s pretty cute.”

He whispered, even though everyone could hear him and were embarrassed at their intimacy. Eren hid his face in his hands and groaned. Levi chuckled at him. He let go of Eren and clasped his hands together with a clap.

“Why don’t we drink to celebrate?”

Petra frowned up at him.

“Aren’t some of us too young to be drinking, sir?” she glanced at Eren.

Levi rolled his eyes.

“Alright then children. Tonight, you’re twenty five.” he pointed at Petra.

“You’re both twenty-seven.” he looked at Erd and Gunther.

He grinned at Auruo.

“And you, you old man, are fourty this year, congratulations.”

Auruo opened his mouth in protest, his eyes wide in horror while everyone laughed. Levi pushed his chair across the wooden floor. He left the table in search of the kitchen storeroom. Meanwhile, as soon as Levi was out of earshock, Eren was bombarded with billions of questions and several excited voices.

“So when did you guys start dating?”

“How far have you two gone? Is he good?”

“Who asked who? Was it romantic? Funny?”

“What did you do to Levi?”

The last one caught Eren off guard. In fact it caught everyone off guard except Auruo, who wanted to know what this brat his done to his idol, turning him into some ball of fluff. What was he thinking?

He hesitated as he looked at the eyes that searched his face for answers. Despite keeping quiet about it, everyone wanted to know what had happened to Levi more than anything else. It was better than explaining that Levi had just announced they were together, without giving Eren any sort of warning beforehand and that uh, it hadn’t exactly been very romantic. He sighed and combed his fingers through his hair.

“Levi woke me up this morning,” he started carefully, not wanting to step on anything that would set off more questions, like the things that had really happened that morning.

“And he was acting strangely, like you’ve seen him just now. He, he was also feeling sick yesterday on my way to get water so I went and helped him.” his intonation ended on a higher note, as if in question as he recalled the previous day, when there was no other Levi and questions had answers to them. It felt like yesterday was weeks ago. “Yeah, he said something about his tea not tasting right, maybe thinking it had been poisoned?”

The whole table gasped and eyes widened in shock.

“Poisoned?!”

“But that can’t be true, right? I mean, he’s perfectly fine body wise.” Gunther nodded in agreement to Erd.

“Yeah, the effects of poison would have done something to him sooner, no matter what kind it was.”

A crashing sound came from the kitchen store and everyone tensed, frozen in place. Eren jumped out his chair and bolted towards the noise, not looking behind him.

“Levi?” he called out in the dimly lit store room, there was only one torch in here and it wasn’t used often. He shivered in the new coldness.

“…I’m here.”

Levi’s voice came from a pile of fallen boxes a few feet in front of Eren. He lifted the boxes away, finding an embarrassed Levi underneath. Dust covered his cheeks.

“Now, I’d say I didn’t need your help but… I’m stuck.” he giggled as he hid his mouth and his eyes lit up.

“What am I going to do with you?”

Eren’s eyes softened as he gave Levi a lopsided grin. He grabbed Levi’s arm and pulled him out, Levi wrapped his arms around his neck.

“Did you at least find the drink in your little expedition?”

Levi tutted at him. “I haven’t told you that you’re old enough to drink.”

“Well then I’ll just be the same age as you for tonight.”

“No, no. That won’t do at all. See, I like how younger men are much more daring and…frisky.”

Levi’s voice came out in a whisper at the end of his sentence. His face glowed red in the dimply lit room and he looked away from Eren. Eren smiled to himself as Levi let him go once he was free and replaced the boxes from the high shelf. Levi took one from him and headed to the door, waiting for Eren to catch up to him. They left the storeroom with a group of pale faces waiting for them outside. They sighed in relief, visibly calming down, chuckling at their own misplaced worry.

“I should’ve known he was fine. Eren would’ve took the walls down with his screaming if something had actually happened to Levi.”

Eren shifted uncomfortably beside Levi. Did they really think of him like that?

They all walked back to their table. Levi sat the crate down on the table, opening it with his knife.

“Now, boys and girls, remember to be responsible when drinking.” he told them in a fruity voice. Eren stifled a giggle.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FLUFF. 
> 
> Oh, and a little bit of smut.
> 
> Or is it?

The previous Levi would have been outraged at the fact that no-one had adhered to his order of drinking responsibly, but the other Levi, this new Levi, he went against his own word and joined them. The same people were in the same seats as before, yet it looked like an entirely different scene to the quiet, tense group earlier.

“What d’ya mean yer not a fucking angel? Pe’ra? Of cooooourse you are, darlin’. You’ve got the wings an’ halo an’ the eyes of God. Now- if you don’ put in good word for me to the Big Guy I’m gonna be real mad because you know what? That’s, that is just cheatin’ and that is no’ nice, alrigh’?”

Erd pointedly accusingly to Petra’s left, rather than at her. Petra whimpered, her drink splashing her hand and tears running down her cheeks. They’d began long, long ago. 

“Stop saying that you ass!” she whined. “I d-don’t speak to God and my eyes are the ocean’s, thank you very much, so just stop it! Just go away you idiot!” she sobbed onto the table. 

Levi and Gunther laughed at Auruo loudly. 

“Auruo, my man, I swear you frown waaaay too much, I don’t frown that much.”

“You do Levi, you totally do!”

“And you cuss like you’ve got some shit up your butt and a horse’s mouth to go with it. Here, here, try copying my accent just now. ‘Cause if I do it…” 

Levi leaned over the table and grabbed onto Auruo’s shirt, frowning and with his mouth open stupidly. 

“Wait, what? What was I saying? Gunther help me out here.”

Gunther spluttered into his fourth drink, laughing hysterically. 

“All I heard was horses, boss. Lots of little ducks following the mama sheep.” 

He laughed even harder, if that was possible, clutching his stomach and Levi joined him, letting go of Auruo and falling back into his seat. Auruo growled and shouted at Gunther and Erd, slamming his cup into the table.

“You’re cheating on me, I know it! I can smell it on you you bastards! Stop leaving me out! Admit it! Just fucking admit it and make this easier on me!” 

He banged his head as he lay it on the table. Gunther and Levi were still laughing so much they squirmed in their chairs. Petra continued her screaming match with Erd, using cuss words no-one would’ve imagined her saying sober. Not that any of them were. 

Eren was a little spaced out in a world of his own, the shouting and laughter sounded distant. He felt drowsy and looked half asleep. 

“Levi, shush, shhh. Come over here, gimme a hug.”

He grabbed at his corporal’s arms, tugging his sleeves and managing to pull him into his lap. Levi squirmed and twisted around on Eren’s thighs, his legs swinging wildly, kicking Eren’s shins and he leaned forward on the table, his drink spilling down his chin and he gulped it down. Petra noticed his cup in a daze and went to look for her own in her hand, which was empty. She screamed as she fell from the table in search of the missing cup

“Cup! Cuppy! Get out here god damn it!”

“Angels don’t swear, stop being bad.”

“Go away Erd!” she cried as she started bashing him with her cup, which had been in her left hand. Her mission was forgotten and she started shouting at him again. 

Eren hummed quietly to himself, resting his chin in Levi’s jostling back. It was warm, Levi’s back. Like an oven. He just wanted to stick his head in the oven and be warm. He wrapped his arms around Levi’s waist, nose nuzzling into Levi’s neck, his cheeks tickled by Levi’s tousled hair and he sighed happily. 

Suddenly, Levi sat upright, knocking an “ow ow owwing” Eren back. He banged his hands on the table, almost breaking right through the wood. 

“A game!” He demanded excitedly. “We need to play a game.” 

Noooo, Levi just needed to be quiet and warm and cozy and just let Eren cuddle him like the oven Levi was. Levi ducked out of Eren’s lap onto the floor, dragging Eren behind him, who complained because Levi’s ass had been warm, why did the bastard have to let him go? Everyone at the table followed them outside, becoming as excited as him and leaving their arguments unfinished and forgotten. 

When they reached outside, Levi still clung onto a shivering Eren who tried to pull him into his chest.

“S’cold Levi. I don’ like it, wanna go back inside and be warm.” he whined. 

Levi’s eyes sparkled like a newly glazed pot. 

“Don’t worry sweetie, we’ll get you all nice and cosy soon enough.”

“Nooo I want it now.” he leaned over and snuggled into Levi, holding onto him tightly. 

Erd, Gunther, Auruo and Petra stood in a line, awaiting further instructions. 

“Hide and seek.” Levi told them. “Auruo, you old hag, you’re counting letters and then you’ve got to find us.” 

“That’s ridiculuth!” Auruo bit into his tongue, anger falling away as he whimpered and winced. “This place is huge, I’ll never find you guys! And it’s fucking dark!”

“We’re only allowed to hide outside, ‘kay? Auruo, there’s a torch over by the entrance, go use that and stop bitching. Count to a hundred and one. Let’s go!”

He pulled Eren by the hand as they dashed into the dark. Petra wiped away tears. Not a god damn angel. Nope. Just cold and going to find a way better hiding place than that jerky Erdy. She vanished into the darkness. 

A little while later, Levi heard a distant “I’m coming for you brats!” and giggled. The fresh air was knocking them back into soberness, but Eren looked so stupidly out of it behind him that he forgot about his headache.  
“Hey, Levi Hechou, where are we going? Someplace with rabbits?”

Levi chuckled at Eren’s drunkenness. Poor kid, it was his first time as well. 

“Yeah, sweetie it’s just a little further up here.”

A few more meters in front of them was an old, unused she and Levi yipped in delight. It was still here! He pushed open the door which was blackened by mould and moss, not caring when they walked into cobwebs and pulling Eren along with him. 

He collapsed on the floor, dragging Eren down with him. He laughed as he hugged Eren, who was trying to quieten him.

“Levi, you’ve gotta be quiet. Else Auru’s gonna find us.” 

They lay side by side in the darkness, the only source of light being the moon that shone through a dusty window. Eren draped his arm around Levi’s waist, the other was tucked under his body until Levi freed it so he could entwine their fingers together, melting at how soft Eren’s hands were. His other hand traced circles on the arm that was flopped across him. His eyes glowed in the moonlight that barely made it through the dust and dirt of the window. 

“You know, this is where Erwin and I hid the chicken. We probably did that when you were a kid. Maybe not even born yet.” 

“The chicken?” Eren frowned. “You mean Ass the chicken?” 

Levi giggled. “Yes, Assassin the chicken.” His thoughts and eyesight were clearing up. He was glad he could recover quickly and painlessly from drinking. He gazed into Eren’s sleepy eyes with a soft sigh. The hand he used to trace patterns on Eren’s hand moved up to his cheek, his thumb moving across it, back and forth in a hypnotic motion. 

“Eren, do you like me?”

Eren snorted and pulled Levi closer into his chest, causing Levi’s arms to be stuck in between their bodies. 

“You’re asking that after you’ve told me we’re together?”

Levi frowned at him, still not quite sober, but Eren could see the worry etched in his eyes. 

“Yeah. I do like you. Lots and lots and lots. You’re funny and warm and…” He copied Levi as he let go of his waist to reach up to his cheek, brushing away the falling hair that immediately fell back. He smiled at him lazily.

“You’re… you’re so lovely, Levi.”

Levi’s body lit up in flames. Not literally, of course, but he checked his skin even so. There was an intense burning in his chest, his head, his throat, the inside of his mouth, his lips, the pit of his stomach. He could feel himself overwhelmingly close to tears but managed to stop the flooding by crashing his mouth against Eren’s. Eren leaned into the kiss as hungrily as Levi, now seemingly more awake than before, moaning as a shuddering sigh left his nose. Levi’s lips were small and thin, but Eren plunged into the warmth they held behind them, and Levi let him.

His eyes fluttered open as he whimpered and Eren pushed his tongue through their closed kiss then closed his eyes bliss as he let Eren snake his way into his mouth. Eren’s danced against the inside of Levi’s lips and Levi massaged his tongue with his own. 

They parted for a breath, their noses brushing together and they felt the other’s hitching breaths on their lips and skin. Levi leaned back in to peck Eren on the lips, who tried to make it deeper. The door opened, hitting Levi’s boot’s heel. 

“Found you, you bastards!” Auruo shouted as he held onto the door frame, the door now swinging back towards Levi. Auruo kicked at Eren’s leg, who shivered at the sudden gust of wind the open door brought. 

“Come on you asses. I’ve found everyone else and we’re all freezing our tits off, so get your sorry selves back to the castle.”

Auruo sounded vaguely sober, but Eren and Levi didn’t give a fuck. They groaned as they untangled themselves from one another and followed Auruo back to the castle with his lantern leading the way. Levi’s hand was warm in Eren’s the entire way back.

They sat around the table once again, their countless round of drinks taking longer to finish than the others. Levi sat beside Eren again, like it had become a habit, folding his arms on the table and resting his chin own his arm. Eren’s arms ached as they pinned over Levi’s touch and heat. 

“Levi, are you alright?”

“Mmm? Yeah I’m fine sweetie.” 

Eren reached over to feel his forehead, feeling beads of sweat in his palm. 

“Levi, you feel really hot, why don’t you go to bed to rest?”

“What, and leave you unattended? No, that won’t do at all.” He sat up and embraced Eren’s neck.

“Carry me to my room, Jaeger.” 

Eren let go of his drink, leaving it on the table as he stood up and grabbed Levi’s waist who wrapped his legs around Eren. Levi nuzzled into Eren’s neck, sighing happily and making Ere shiver, although the breath was warm. They made their way upstairs, travelling through murky passageways in comfortable silence. 

When they reached Levi’s room, Eren was worried. Really worried. Levi hadn’t said anything to him, not even yelping when Eren almost dropped him as he struggled to carry Levi. He’d also become sticky and swelteringly hot against Eren. Eren nudged open the door and walked across to Levi’s bed, as pristine as ever, and lay him down. When he pulled away, Levi pulled him on top of him and onto the bed with him. 

“L-Levi?”

“Yes, Commander?” Levi asked him saucily.

Eren frowned in confusion. Then he remembered:

“We could do a little “roleplaying” with that “Commander Eren” persona of yours tonight.”

And now it was tonight, and Levi fully intended to keep to his word. He blushed profoundly, trying to lift himself off of the other man who grinned up at him mischievously.

“Heichou! You’re not well!” 

He told him that, but to no avail. He needed out of Levi’s grip now, before the latter noticed the tent forming in his pants, reminding him of that morning. 

“You know,” Levi breathed into Eren’s ear, causing Eren to turn a darker shade of red and gulp painfully as he stopped struggling. “I’ve heard it said that that is a very good medicine. For fevers, colds, oh, and erections. Hello again, Mr Hard On.”

Eren squealed as Levi flipped their positions, unable to pull away, not that he could in his state, let alone with Levi’s steel clutch that dug nails into his wrist. Levi smirked at him and began to undo Eren’s pants, along with Eren himself. He licked his lips as he tugged down the fabric that was Eren’s pants, purposely breathing over the bare legs that shivered beneath him and smiled at the whimpers as he watched Eren come undone. He caressed Eren’s thighs, already panting and looked directly into his eyes. Eren squirmed, not wanting to look away but unable to maintain his sanity under the intense eye contact they were sharing. 

Levi broke the gaze to look down at Eren’s underwear, tight over the length it hid. Eren hissed in pleasure as he felt Levi brush over it on his way to pulling his underwear down to his knees, along with his pants. Levi stopped. He spluttered, laughing as he looked away from Eren and blushing. Eren tensed. What was funny? Did Levi change his mind? Was he laughing at Eren’s stupidity for falling for his act? Was he not good enough? His eyes widened in fear. Was he going to back out and leave Eren exposed like this? 

“Le-”

“Eren, oh god.” he looked back at Eren, still panting and trying not to smile.

“When was the last time you shaved down there? Because I swear I thought I was looking at a bird’s eye view of the forest of giant trees.” 

He bent his head in laughter, covering his mouth with a cupped hand. Eren kicked at him, blushing angrily.  
“Okay, okay, sweetie I’m sorry, I didn’t think about what I was saying, I didn’t mean to make you…” 

Eren stopped kicking, but scowled accusingly at Levi. Levi felt sick all of a sudden, there was something burning in his throat, threatening to come up and saliva rushed to his mouth which he tried to gulp down. He gasped. 

“Levi? Are you okay? I told you this wasn’t a good idea, you really are just too sick.” He pulled his pants and underwear up as he lay down. 

Poor kid, saying that even while his lower half stood to attention through his pants. He almost keeled over. Eren reached over to him, his fingers trembling from excitement and arousal. 

Levi blankly leaped from his touch, practically jumping to the base of the bed, gripping onto the wood, away from Eren. He began to breath shallowly, his eyes wide with fear? Shock? Horror?

“Heichou-”

“Out.” Levi pointed towards the door, his voice shaking terribly. 

“I-I don’t know what you’re doing here, undressed like that on my bed but j-just get out.” His face was pale and sickly and Eren gasped in unbelievable agony as he watched a dark cloud mist over Levi’s eyes. 

Levi was back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOU KNEW IT WOULD COME.
> 
> Feel free to yell at me on my tumblr   
> ( imagine-microwave.tumblr.com )
> 
> Or you know, we can talk about snk, ereri, jeanmarco, kittens- whatever floats thy boat. :D


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi's aftermath. He totally regrets everything. 
> 
> He has a dream too. Quite an interesting one, I might add.

It was surprising just how quickly Eren had left Levi’s room. One moment he’d been reaching over the bed towards Levi to comfort him with warm, fond eyes. The next he’d left behind the sound of stumbling footsteps and closed the door across the room with a click that still rang through Levi’s mind. He wasn’t sure how long he’d sat on his bed for. 

It was rare for Levi to lose his sense of time, direction or his purpose in life. But minutes and hours couldn’t be told apart. He was lost without any gut feeling telling him where to go.

Purpose? What did that mean again?

It was as if it didn’t matter anymore. 

All he could think about was the pain. The sharp image of pain in Eren’s moss coloured eyes, his hurt expression, as though he’d been stabbed cruelly. But Eren hadn’t been inflicted. There were no cuts or bruises on his inhumanely regenerative body. 

There was also a pain in Levi. A strange, squirming feeling that sank it’s teeth into the back of his throat and lay in slumber like a heavy rock. He couldn’t swallow it down. He hadn’t eaten anything to make that happen, but still it felt very real. He wished it would just come out, that he could just throw up because he didn’t like it. 

It irritated him.

He didn’t do anything about it. Because more than that, he felt the need to call out for Eren, the same way an animal signaled a distress call. Because it was hurt and needed help. His mouth opened the slightest bit, but the room remained silent. The noiseless room made him uncomfortable. Shockingly so. It made him paranoid that something would jump out at him and make a loud sound. He wouldn’t have minded if it was Eren.

For some reason, Levi remained immobile on the bed. His arms were by his sides, his legs crossed beneath him and beginning to fall asleep. His head ached. He could feel himself shaking. Too many things had happened and he was so confused. But that wasn’t all he felt. 

It had never really occurred to Levi that he was capable of experiencing more than one emotion at a time. And right now, they were all swirling inside his head, eating away at him from inside out as he tried to process them. He didn’t like any part of what he was currently feeling. One could even say he hated it. None of it was real. It only existed inside his head because he was a human and that was what happened. It just happened. His entire being wanted rid of this agonising weight, this feeling. 

So he switched it off. 

Levi shifted and lay on his bed. His joints seemed to hold him into his previous position, he was that tense and stiff. It reminded him of just how meaningless time felt when you weren’t aware of it. But it always knew your name and would fervently take it’s toll on your meek, human body that aged along while it remained eternal. Constant. Unlike your fickle little life. 

Hi head hit the pillow with great effort, he eyes closed from dense exhaustion after having blankly stared into nothing for god knows how long. A while ago he’d been in too much pain to function.

But it was fine now. He’d turned it off. Just like he’d trained himself to. 

His breathing wasn’t even. It was ragged, as if he wasn’t allowed to breath and each intake of air was a massive risk. It irritated. The white sheets he lay upon were soft. It didn’t make sense. How could they be soft when he felt as though bruises were flowering all over his body, inside and out? He didn’t understand the pain. Pain was a physical thing. Pain was something soliders such as himself lived through constantly. They were felt in scrapes. Cuts. Broken bones. Then when the time was right, they got treated. Or you took it like a man and dealt with it until it faded. 

Levi didn’t think it was possible to treat a bruise that couldn’t be seen or given to him. It was just there inside him which now felt fragile and tender. 

He was cold. His arms were covered in goose-bumps. He hadn’t even noticed the drop in temperature. Why had he been warm enough before? Oh. That’s because he had been with…

Sliding under the covers, he tugged them close to his face and curled his legs up towards his chest. 

Still cold. 

His arms especially. All the way into the centre of his chest. 

But they were still under the blanket, so they should have felt warm, right? Why were they cold? Did he just need to wait for himself to heat up?

His throat tightened. He was about to rub away the tension until he realized a line on his face felt cold. On his cheeks. He allowed a finger to escape from his blankets and find the source on the apple of his cheek. 

He examined his fingertip. It was wet. It held a droplet.

Tears.

Levi felt his shoulders, his face his chest, all of him crumble. 

The switch was fucking on again. He hadn’t realized that had happened either. Why? Why did it have to be on? He pinned for it to stay off and leave him alone.

As Levi cradled his knees in a foetal position he hadn’t gone into in years, he realized something important. His breathing hitched. 

He felt pain that didn’t need a sharp knife or a good punch to put it there. And it hurt so much more than anything like that could. 

The tears rolled down his face more quickly, dampening the sheets beneath him but he didn’t notice, he squeezed his eyes shut and held his hands to his face, wailing and sobbing into them softly. 

Something about Eren leaving the room had made him like this. Correction: Levi telling him to leave and him actually walking out had done this. Another pang of pain rose in his chest.

He didn’t like it.

He hated it. 

He didn’t understand all this.

He didn’t understand anything at all. 

He wanted to turn it off. Very, very badly now.

He tried to sleep it off, as he would with a cold or fever. He managed to. He didn’t know how long it took. Knowing that fact wouldn’t exactly do anything useful though. So he didn’t care. 

Usually, in Levi’s dreams he encountered experiences that he had felt before. Did the things he’d already done before. He took them to be memories that his mind relived through the night. Because it remembered everything. Even if he didn’t want it to. Mostly, they were boring, sometimes he had the same dream several times over because Levi had a tendency to stick to a routine and every day felt the same. They were safe and structured. Something that he liked: order. 

Tonight was no exception and replayed a memory for him.

Once he realized he was dreaming, he looked around at his surroundings. He was in his room. 

It was light, the curtains were drawn to reveal the early rising sun that shone through the window to his left. His bed stood behind him to his right. And in front of him was his beige couch, which had been turned around to face his bed in the corner of the room, and a boy with brown hair and in white shirt and brown pants uniform slept upon it. Eren. 

This was the scene from this morning. He had several reasons to not want to repeat this incident. But his body moved whether he wanted it to or not. And he remembered everything that he had done and seen while under the influence of Hanji’s drugged tea. Whether he wanted to or not. 

Levi felt himself smirk. No, that wasn’t right. It felt happy. A smile. It couldn’t have looked fitting to his character. He looked down at Eren who slept less than half a meter away. His hair was dishevelled, his mouth parted and his tan brown skin had creases from the fabric of the couch across his cheeks. He frowned in his sleep, large bushy brows furrowed as if in confusion. 

In his dream state, Levi felt a lightness in his chest. A swelling. The good kind. Happiness. One that was directed at the slightly drooling young man on the couch. One that had made him smile genuinely and uncharacteristically . As though he liked to look at the sleeping boy. Why was that?

“He’s so adorable.” he said to himself, lost in thought then alerted by the sound of his own voice. His voice sounded like… a cooing mother. He’d really said that this morning. That made him uncomfortable. Embarrassed. 

Levi felt the overwhelming urge to lie on top of the boy. Well. That was certainly random. He didn’t understand. Lie on him? Why? What was he going to do about this sudden impulse to do just that? 

His dream self, the one who’d been drugged that morning, was amused. Since he was in the place of his dream self, they shared a body, saw what the other saw through the same eyes but from a different perspective. And that meant that Levi also felt amused. Although because of his perspective, he didn’t really understand why. There was no joke So, why?

“I wonder what will happen if he wakes up to a Levi and an erection?” he chuckled. 

This was unbelievable. He hated, hated, HATED this dream. This fucking memory. He couldn’t believe he’d really done this. 

Levi peered with discomfort and sure enough, Eren was already slightly aroused, the tightness and tent in his pants were evidence enough. Bloody hormones. Somehow, it was this that amused him? Although, he had to admit he looked like an idiot with drool dribbling down his chin. Plus, his hair was poking out in so many directions a bird would mistake it for a nest, and that was just hilarious to imagine.

As he had done that morning, he sat himself on top of Eren, who’s legs hung off the arm of the couch, and placed he knees at Eren’s sides and his ass against Eren’s… 

His… 

…… 

Crotch. 

(Kill him now. Seriously. Please. Before it was too late.)  
He felt himself moving against the hard stub and something exploded inside his chest and made him gulp. His own crotch was tingling, oh god, and it had become erect too, he noticed with disgust. 

But the dream him didn’t seem to feel this way at all. He hummed in enjoyment and licked his lips, clearly enjoying this act, relishing in its sensations. Liking how aroused he felt upon Eren’s unconscious body (perverseness, dear god, please help him) and Levi felt heat rush to his face when he realized Eren’s crotch was getting harder beneath him. The other Levi had become even more amused, giggling to himself as Eren’s breathing began to involve gasps and quiet moans as he squirmed beneath him. 

With a gasp of his own as he shivered and stared down at Eren’s stirring jaw that clenched and eyes that squeezed shut with a louder moan, Levi was as entertained and aroused as his dream persona was. He grinned, showing his teeth and his eyes crinkling slightly. 

Eren opened his eyes groggily and Levi watched as he awoke, strangely satisfied with what he saw. How did he know he was satisfied? He honestly couldn’t say. Words had continually popping into his head when he queried himself what he was feeling, his dream persona answering with ease. Right now, he felt like he’d finished a job where he’d felt good doing it. Was almost proud of this accomplishment of waking Eren up with an erection, as odd as that was. 

Inching closer without realizing what he was doing, Levi ran through the names of his emotions in his head. 

Excited. Waiting in anticipation. Curious. Devious. 

The words flowed into him absent-mindedly. He didn’t have to ask what these feelings felt like. He just knew. 

Levi’s nose brushed Eren’s as the latter’s eyes had fully opened. Levi waited for the startled scream he’d felt this morning, lost in the moment, forgetting that he’d been uneasy to begin with. 

Green eyes.

No. It was more than that.

It was a green that was lit by a flickering candle from behind, the speckles of flame showing through as brilliant yellow within bright green pools of iris and bottomless, dilated pupils that focused to meet his own. 

The sheer clarity of the detail left Levi breathless. Suddenly green had a new definition. His pupils grew in size as his mouth parted, yearning to reach forward and he forgot himself. 

Eren lifted his arms from his sides and wrapped them around Levi, enveloping him in the smell of moss and bodily warmth. Levi was too involved and alert to remember that this wasn’t something that had happened that morning, that this was something brand new and never experienced before. The elation he felt was proof enough of this though. His heartbeat was jumping out his ears as Eren half closed his eyelids and pulled Levi forward from the back of his neck. Their lips touched, then latched onto each other like a key in a lock. Levi gasped at the sensation but was muffled by Eren’s mouth. 

It stunned him, this lightning-like shock than coursed through his veins and propelled him to clutch onto Eren’s shoulders, that were bare as they hadn’t been before. He closed his eyes and kissed back.

Woah. Fucking shit. Fuck.

This feeling… words couldn’t race each other to tell him what it was because he wasn’t aware of anything else. All he knew was that this feeling made his insides melt and made him push closer to Eren, because too much would never be enough. Never. He couldn’t ever get enough of the roughness of Eren’s slightly chaffed lips, the taste of his mouth, the movement of the kiss as he and Eren returned time and time again in slightly different places to meet with each other with a quiet smack, the little gasps of his that made Eren hum appreciatively, the wetness of Eren’s lips as they were painted with Levi’s saliva that couldn’t help but leak out his slavering mouth. 

Eren’s skin. His warmth. His tiny freckles that littered a small section of his nose, unnoticeable to anyone else. His tickling hairs that brushed against his forehead and temples and rouge cheeks. There were oceans of emotions flooding through him. He vaguely fished them out. 

Happiness. Because Eren was here, beside him, with him for what felt like forever. 

Excited. Because Eren was gorgeous and that made his stomach flutter with escaping butterflies.

Aroused. Because their skin was brushing against each other. Because they were still in that goddamn position and moving their hips together. Because Eren’s kisses made him feel hot all over, inside and out. 

In love. Because…

Well. Because it was Eren, and that was all Levi needed to make him feel like that. 

Levi eyes opened and he was in his room, alone. Eren had long ago left. He remembered that. He recollected everything now. Everything.

He closed his eyes and struggled with a choked cough as the tears began all over again, cold on his now warm skin. 

Erwin had been right. He’d woken up a new man.

Erwin couldn’t be more wrong.

There were no benefits to relish in. 

Dreams didn’t count because dreams were nothing but memories. Or this new concept of fantasy that Levi knew he would have to adjust to.

He wished it had been real. And he’d have to get over the fact that it wasn’t. It never would. And that was that. 

Or so he would have said in another life.

Levi winced as he eased his erection that had lasted into reality and scrubbed away the traces of dry trails of tears. He didn’t notice that darkness still shrouded the room as he stumbled towards the door, to wherever Eren was in this fucking cold as shit castle. He shivered with a hiss. 

Time to claim his other half back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want a tear-jerker. Is it working? 
> 
> Can I just mention that in this fic Levi suffers from Alexithymia (notice the pun guys) and that's why he's asking himself all the question about what he's feeling. Basically, it's a personality disorder (correct me if I'm wrong) where the person lacks imagination, can't describe or understand his or anyone's feelings and doesn't understand the difference between emotions and feelings. (Took me a while to get that too actually.)
> 
> This was actually pretty difficult to write because some words describes how a person feels about something and I wasn't allowed to in order to show Levi's mindset, I also did this with the sentence structure and the repetition.
> 
>  
> 
> So close to 1000 hits /(0_0)\ I swear my ego is so inflatable


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren talks to Erwin who is trying to compress his desire to strangle Eren there on the spot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY after this, 1000 hits!!!!!!!! Thanks for the support!
> 
> I hope this chapter is interesting for you, expect more tears.
> 
> Ereri in the next chapter, I promise. And less tears, I think.
> 
> Also: let's pretend it was Erwin who had a breakdown after the failed expedition.

Eren really should have been anticipating it. Slowly but surely, Levi had slipped back into his smirks and foul glances. But Eren couldn’t push back the stinging in his eyes when Levi had suddenly snapped, flinched away from his fingers and told him to leave in a scared voice. 

He’d never heard Levi sound scared and it reminded him of all the others that had feared him when he’d revealed his transforming powers. They’d all learned not to trust him after that, leaving him alone. He’d thought that at least Levi, humanity’s strongest soldier, wouldn’t ever fear him and push him away. Eren decided the title didn’t fit him anymore.

In the room, he’d been terrified that Levi would lash out at him, maybe kick him and go crazy. Seeing Levi close to tears was a much worse consequence.

He trudged along the castle, wandering down several passageways, unsure of what to do and where to go, in a hollow daze. It was dark except for the lanterns, but Eren didn’t see them, it was as if the light wasn’t even there. He knew that Levi wouldn’t be coming to his cell anytime soon with a candle gripped in small, delicate fingers. Fingers that had caressed Eren’s hands, his cheeks and his hair.

Fingers that had pointed him to the door.

When Eren felt something hard bang against his chest, he thought that this was it, the pain and shock had finally reached him and this was what heartbreak felt like. But thankfully, it was only Petra who was on her way to her room. Actually no, he didn’t want her to see him like this. 

“Eren? Hey! How are you?” she beamed up at him, her hair glinting dimly in the light of the nearby torch on the wall above them. 

He gaped slightly and feeling lost, what should he tell her? Everything? Nothing? Or should he lie to her? Eren watched as her smile faded as she saw the redness in Eren’s eyes, which had been difficult to see in the badly lit passageway. 

Her eyes widened as a single tear fell down his cheek that stung because he’d rubbed at it vigorously absent-mindedly as he’d been walking around aimlessly. He squeezed his eyes shut, turning his face away as he let out a choked sob.  
“Eren?! Oh, Eren, Eren… What happened? Are you okay?”

Funny how ‘how are you’ and ‘are you okay’ had different meanings even though they meant the same thing.

Eren didn’t answer her, he only stooped down and muffled his wracking sobs on her shoulders as he wrapped shaking arms tightly around them. He buried his face in her blonde hair as he let out a stuttering breath against her neck, now unable to answer her because he just really, really wanted a hug and for someone to mother him.

She encased his waist in her arms, giving him her body heat that he was apparently lacking, he shivered in his thin shirt. When had he become so cold? Was the castle that badly insulated? Just how long had he been walking around the castle before she’d found him?

Petra hesitated to question him, so that she could help him out, then decided against it as Eren’s sobbing grew louder and Petra felt droplets on her skin. She could see pretty clearly that Eren wouldn’t be up for talking for quite a while yet. She sighed, placing her chin on his shoulder. This was all she could do. But maybe, this was all he needed.

\----

Erwin’s plan had been simple. 

Key words: had been. 

Originally, he’d planned to have Eren fall for Levi. In doing this, Eren would either a) get caught trying to sneak to Levi’s room b) get into a fight with someone about his feelings for him or c) irritate Levi so much with his puppy dog eyed pleading that Levi would cast him away, asking Erwin to send him on his way. 

It was a win-win situation for Erwin, because no matter which option Eren chose, Erwin would make sure that it led to a court meeting where he would convince them that Eren was far too troublesome for them. Then he could be sent to the Military Police. Sure, it might give the Recon Corps an even worse reputation, but Erwin just didn’t give a fuck anymore. 

Having a person who could transform into a titan was unnatural and quite frankly, it made him sick to have the enemy being cared for under his own goddamn roof. 

From the beginning, he’d been opposed to the idea. But when Levi suddenly went down from the witness box to where Eren was tied to a pole with chains at his wrists, and kicking him, or as he put it “disciplining him”, he obviously had to cover for him. 

So he’d told the judge his “idea” where Eren could be used for missions, could train with his army. Really, watching Eren be beat the shit out of was satisfying and he’d felt no need to stop Levi. Then people had began looking at him expectantly, as if he could do something about Levi. Did that mean people thought Levi was his bitch to order around? He smirked to himself. 

Now, Levi was apparently in love with the little shit. According to conversations among the soldiers, they were getting along more than merrily. 

Hanji was supposed to have given Eren a potion to make him fall for Levi, have him lapping at his every word and picking fights with anybody that didn’t agree that Levi was a god. It seemed that Hanji had “misheard” him but he let that slide, she had done something with a potion, Eren had a crush on Levi, even if it had meant that Levi maybe felt the same way. 

And now part two of plan b could commence. 

He strode down the passageways on his way to Levi’s room, where he assumed Eren would be with him. The torches flickered violently as his cloak caused a draft in the already cold tunnel, his buckles clinking loudly in the empty stretch of the path ahead. 

As he turned around a corner he froze. Someone was there, he peeked around the stone wall. Two people. They seemed to be embracing, lovers? But he heard loud sobs that were startlingly loud in the quiet castle. He sighed deeply and forced himself to walk past them. 

The taller figure raised his head in alarm at the sound of Erwin’s heavy footsteps and turned to face him, only to reveal a shitty brat’s face full of tears. Erwin stopped walking and stared at him with a schooled expression of calm. 

Eren’s eyes were wide and blood shot, he hurriedly disentangled himself from the smaller blonde, Petra he shot a worried glance at Erwin. Don’t look at him; it’s not like he knows what to do with a bawling kid. Even so, he spoke up. 

“What seems to be the problem, Eren.” he spoke the name with as little venom as possible, if that could even be done. 

Eren glanced around nervously, unsure of how to address Erwin and explain why he was crying with a motherly Petra who’d tried to comfort him. 

“I’ll leave you two alone, then.” 

Petra scurried off down the passageways, looking back seemingly glad to either leave Eren in his hands. But it also could have been Erwin’s dim presence of intimidation and growing aura of hatred toward Eren. He suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. Eren moved towards him, admiration and embarrassment clearly written all over his face. Well, it was difficult to completely hate any kind of adoration, so Erwin decided to talk to him.

“So. Do you feel like talking about it?”

“Not really.”

That surprised Erwin, he’d expected Eren to be clobbering him with all the details and expecting him to take it all in. He sighed again.

“Alright then. Why don’t we go to my room? It’ll be much warmer than staying out here in the cold.” 

It seemed that Eren really didn’t want to be with Erwin, or anyone that wasn’t willing to hold him like Petra, but he still complied. He’d been trained to listen to his superiors, after all. He clapped a hand on Eren’s shoulders, guiding him silently to his room. 

Plan b, part two, version two, could now commence. 

In Erwin’s room with dark walls, Eren was strangely silent and withdrawn. He made no move to sit on the available chair, the couch or on Erwin’s made up bed in the far corner of the room. Erwin was sort of glad that he wouldn’t have to have Eren’s ass germs on any of his furniture, but his mannerisms told him otherwise. 

“Take a seat, Eren. I’ll make us some tea.”

Urgh. His mouth germs on his precious kitchenware. 

“You don’t have to, it’s fine.”

Eren sat on the edge of the wooden chair with a sullen expression, rather than the fabric couch Erwin had indicated. Well, this was unusual. What had happened to make him like this? Not that Erwin cared, he was just curious. 

Erwin wandered to the open plan kitchen and prepared the tea, lighting a match on to his gas oven and placing a red teapot on top, the water already inside. He glanced back at Eren as he searched for two cups in the cupboard above him. He looked really out of place with his unkempt appearance in Erwin’s recently cleaned room. It was like seeing a commoner in a palace. Though, Erwin had to admit, this room wasn’t nearly as royal as the king’s. Nowhere near it. 

Eren sat with a scowl and his arms folded angrily against his chest, still wearing his uniform with a white shirt and brown trousers, although he’d taken off the body belts. Erwin silently reached into his other cupboard, the one to his left with all his drink and took out an especially strong liquid, but not strong enough to notice the taste when mixed with another drink. No, he wasn’t going to poison Eren, but that thought had crossed his mind. Just a little booze to loosen Eren up.

He wished he hadn’t. 

Eren was sprawled along the couch, long ago having left his uncomfortable wooden chair. For the past hour, without Erwin needing to prompt him for answers after he’d had two cups of “tea”, he’d been babbling angrily at Erwin, telling him how much he hated the titans and some guy called Jean who had a horse face and about his friends who Erwin couldn’t remember the names of and his home town. Erwin decided to ask him about that.

“So yeah, we all like, were really close in Trost but then we had to evacuate because of the titans and move to shiganshina but then we all just went and joined the-”

“What about your parents? Didn’t they have something to say about you joining the survey corps? I’m pretty sure no sane parent would actually want their kid to join our army.” he chuckled.

 

Eren’s eyes widened, his mouth open but no words coming out. He closed it again, looking down at the wooden floor with a pained expression. Shit-here came the waterworks.

“I thought you already knew about my life, and what happened with them. You knew what I’d done when I was a kid and no-one had even seen that. I‘m sure of it.” 

Eren looked at Erwin suspiciously as he lay on the couch, but his eyes were slightly glazed and it seemed to be more a more tired expression than the “scary” defensiveness he usually had.

Erwin, in the wooden chair opposite him as he’d been kicked off the couch earlier, was really curious now.

“Remind me, then. I want to know since you’re already spouting your mouth off. It couldn‘t hurt to recall it, right?”

Eren turned away in defeat, rolling onto his side, facing away from Erwin, his voice muffled by the cushions.

“My mom was eaten by a titan.” Eren whispered and Erwin was even sure he’d spoken. He craned his neck to hear him better. 

“Right in front of me. Like it was mocking me. Mikasa was there too, my sister, and Hannes was, erm, he’s a soldier, he’d been helping us to get my mom out from under the rubble because we weren’t strong enough to lift it by ourselves. When the titan got closer, he was about to get his manoeuvre gear out and kill it, but I don’t think he could do it alone because he just grabbed us over his shoulder and ran like my mom told him to.”

Erwin could hear the breaks and hilting in Eren’s speech, interested in the story as well as slightly horrified because he could imagine the scene all too well. A mother, one that looked like Eren but softer, under the rubble of her own house, hidden away from the city with a street full of neighbours’ houses, now crushed and far from their normal peace. Curdling screams coming from every direction and blood over every surface that a titan had come across. 

Yes, he was a bit concerned as to where this story was going now, because he knew he might start crying over the memories of all the soldiers he’d let die, their shouts and begging, pleading that they go back for that one person because they meant everything to them.

But this was war. You didn’t have time to mourn. You just had to give the nurse the person’s name when you identified their bloody and broken corpse in some ungodly position. 

Eren’s voice was shaky as he continued, now looking up at the ceiling with tears in his eyes. 

“My mom wanted me to run away, that she couldn’t have gone with us because her body had been crushed to a pulp, and she told us to live on and I was just screaming and kicking at Hannes, telling him to let me down and help her. Then the titan came and it… It took her in its hand and she was crying out, it was pretty hard for me to see her because my eyes were watery and all I could see was red, but I know she was trying to get out and struggling.”

Eren was sobbing as he spoke now, unable to hold back, the words only just able to be choked out because though there was a huge lump in his throat. Erwin felt his eyes stinging with water, he gulped down the lump in his own throat and tried his best not to cry along with the kid. 

The mother he’d been confronted with in the street was stuck in his head, he couldn’t get past her head of grey hair and scared eyes as she demanded her son with a shaking body and he’d just lost it, crying because he was so useless because he’d killed half his soldiers and he couldn’t give her son back even though he really wanted to because she wouldn’t shut up but she was also so, so upset and in so much agony when he’d told her that her son was dead. 

There’d been nothing he could do but apologise and shout at her in front of the entire town square that had been silent as he spoke.

That hadn’t been a good day, to say the least.

“Eren,” he said, his voice straining under the pressure of trying not to cry. “It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me any more than that, I understand.”

Eren looked at Erwin just then, his eyes wide and red, the green of his iris had no light of determination, his mouth a thin, set line and his bushy eyebrows raised in pain. 

“Oh, right. Sorry. Sorry, I didn’t mean to get upset.” he said breathily.

Erwin’s jaw hurt from clamping his mouth shut, seeing if grinding his teeth would stop him from getting too emotional and stop him from talking too much. 

“It’s okay, you’re allowed to be upset. You’d be crazy not to be upset, of course. That, that’s just what humans do when faced with pain and difficulty.”

Eren stumbled off the couch and towards Erwin’s chair, two metres away from him and fell into his chest.

“I really miss my mom. I miss everybody.” his voice broke in several places. As did Erwin. 

He patted Eren’s head with a shaky hand. Then he gave in to his instincts to care and held Eren tightly, hiding his face in Eren’s shoulder who trembled and let the tears fall onto Erwin’s chest. 

They stayed like that for a while, the two very broken people held each other in one’s room, plans and plots forgotten as memories and sadness washed over both of them. Eren sniffed every so often as he began to calm down.

“I’ve sure been doing a lot of crying tonight.”

Erwin moved to look at Eren.

“Why’s that?”

Eren looked embarrassed, but it wasn’t as though he could be in any worse of a state than he already was. Their current position pretty much suggested that they could tell each other their entire life story, as if one already hadn’t.

Eren sighed heavily.

“Levi rejected me after he stopped acting weird and he kicked me out his room.”

Erwin was livid. So the brat had been in Levi’s room, as he’d suspected before. 

He looked at the situation a little more objectively as he told himself to calm down.

Erwin could, take plan b part two version two into action where he convinced Eren to leave the castle so that he wouldn’t have to face Levi again, he wasn’t sure if Eren would be willing to go to the Military Police to be killed, but who knew? The kid could be suicidal after what had happened. 

Or, he could help him out and maybe even convince him to keep trying with Levi, to not take it so badly.

He hesitated. This was a big decision to make, after all. 

It was a plan he’d been arranging for a while now. He could tell this kid to get his shit together so that he could help humanity, as he had promised that day in the court room, or he could have him killed, watching and waving the kid goodbye, his other hand in Levi’s. 

He really did love Levi. Probably more than this kid, hell; definitely more than this shitty brat who barely even knew the man. 

“You should try talking to him. If that doesn’t work, then just make him listen, he’s very stubborn, you know.”

Goodbye, plan b…part two…version two…

At least the little shit would be helping humanity… Eventually. If that “eventually” ever actually came and he wasn’t crying over older men to other older men like himself. What a time to be alive.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanji! Lots of Hanji! Love or hate her! She's here! Exploring what Eren and Levi did all day!
> 
> Levi also talks to her about "things".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ehehe, this was fun.

After eating her dinner comprised of a small slice of meat and lots of potatoes, Hanji left the plate sitting on the table in the empty dinning room and went back to her room. She had things to tend to and reports to summarise, like the good soldier she had to be.

Right! She marched down the hallways that were lit by torches from the walls and the descending sun from the ceiling, her arms swinging at her sides to help her walk faster. At last! She reached her room and swung the door open, undid the first two buttons on her shirt and ran over to her desk, where piles of paper littered the surface. Hanji collapsed onto her desk chair and spun around once before getting to work. She sighed happily as she searched for the papers she needed in the drawers, or was it already on the desk? She shuffled them around absent-mindedly.

Today had been such an awesome day! A day full of productiveness! Her potion had worked, she’d guessed that Eren and Levi were getting along fine and best of all; Erwin had been furious at her “misunderstanding”. It was always hilarious to see Erwin mad at something, especially when she got away with it, like today.

Ah, but it hadn’t been a mistake. In Hanji’s world that word didn’t so much as exist. Because you could always learn from whatever had happened, no matter how explosive the result was.

It had been glaringly obvious for some time now that the poor boy had gone from simply admiring the corporal to adoring him with all his heart, although he might’ve not realized it until of late. It was sweet, even if Levi had always been a bit standoff-ish with him.

Mistake? No, no. This had been very intentional. For Erwin to come barging in, demanding that she make Eren fall in love with Levi without so much of an explanation? She did what was in her power to make Erwin happy enough to leave her alone, because he already had what he wanted whether he realized it or not.

It was also because she wanted him to know that he couldn’t jerk her around like some doll that magically produced remedies. Plus, she knew just how to make Eren and Levi happy while doing it too.

And her meddling had proved some very, very interesting results and Erwin had let it slide; she just hoped they didn’t mind her interfering. Come to think of it, they were probably grateful, or Eren would be, at least.

Aha! She found the notes she’d taken that day of her observations of Levi and Eren. She didn’t bother to straighten out the A5 sheets and set straight to reading them. Thankfully, there were already in order.

\---

05:45

Position: Kitchen

I’ve made Levi the potion. Note this Erwin- for Levi, not Eren mwahahaha. He should be coming in with Eren just about now. Here he is! Good luck to me!!

05:46

I just shoved it at him, I think I sounded a bit excited. Oh well. He’s used to that by now. Anyway; he drank it-no side effects showing yet, but then again, he does take forever to drink the damn cup’s worth.

05:47

He seems to be onto me, he’s suspicious, that’s for sure because I heard him say, or words to that effect: “It doesn’t taste right.” Still no effects showing.

06:30

Position: Dining room table

Levi swore at Eren for not washing his hair correctly and was looking at it for some time before mentioning this. Perhaps he’s excusing himself for staring at Eren? Heheheh. No effects showing.

08:23

Position: Behind the stables, observing from window

In the stables Levi seems to be having trouble with his horse, you know, the great brown beast that Levi can somehow jump onto. (I wonder if that means he’s a topper) Is the horse sensing hormone changes through smell? Oh wait, Eren’s standing outside, watching Levi with big eyes and it’s spooking the horses. Levi’s chasing him out, telling him he stinks and ordering him to shower. Still no effects.

09:50

Position: Some passageway in the castle, close to the main hall

Levi’s talking to Petra in hallway about… the weather? And training? What a sparkling conversationalist you are, Levi dear. Does social awkwardness and stupidity count as an effect or have I just never noticed how dumb he acts in front of women? I don’t even know what the potion’s supposed to do, I just put some random chemicals together and-

09:51

Last entry had me almost discovered. It’s fine though, I hid behind the wall and they didn’t notice me. Not that that would be very hard. This damn shirt’s so faded it’s practically the same colour as the walls. My camouflage makes me feel like a ninja-yahoo! I may have shouted that out loud: abort, abort-

13:02

Position: Dinning room table

Currently lunch break, Levi and Eren sitting separately from the rest of the group at each end of the table. Eren making conversation with Petra and Levi, Auruo doesn’t seem to approve and is watching Eren and Levi closely. Levi is his usual stoic self. No effects. Hell, I don’t even know what I’m looking out for here!!

13:04

Eren tends to glance to Levi from time to time even when they aren’t talking, implies that he wants to talk to Levi? Or is he just staring because he can’t get enough?

13:06

Levi gets mad that Eren accidentally (on purpose?) spills his unfinished tea on Levi when Eren walks past him. Eren’s punishment is cleaning the floors later. I swear, Eren looks so dejected, like a little puppy with his tail hiding but he still stands to attention like a dork when Levi shouts at him, even saying “Yes sir!” like all the juniors do. Cute. When did this begin to sound like a journal? Anyway: Levi interacts with Eren a lot during this, but still no effects. I hope at least something happens, and then I can just pretend that there’s evidence…

15:25

Position: Passageway close to dinning room

HERE COMES THE FUN!! Levi is showing signs of nausea, is cursing a lot and repetitively going in to touch his head-migraine? Despite this, he’s still cleaning (that’s Levi for you), perhaps trying to forget it? Finally SOME EFFECTS? (I sure hope I haven’t poisoned him…)

15:30

Levi excuses himself to go to bathroom, doesn’t he normally just leave without a word? Actually, when has he ever had to go to the toilet? He’s like a machine.

15:35

Position: Tailing Levi through the castle, hiding behind wall corner

Eren is walking with bucket which he drops when he finds Levi and goes over to help him as he seems to be collapsing (shit). He mentions my name… well, he’s not completely suspicious of me, I mean I’m still tailing him… Eren lifts him up to take him to his room, Levi is surprisingly co-operative. I may need to choose my grave soon. But this is so cute! So many effects!! I hope Levi recovers, a teaspoonful is too big a doze perhaps?

15:37

Position: Outside Levi’s room

Levi and Eren just went inside the room. The usual cup-to-door method of listening in isn’t working. Damn you Levi and your sound proof door.

16:59

Doesn’t look as though they’ll be coming down for dinner. I’m famished though… They shouldn’t notice if I steal away *snigger*

20:01

No signs of them having left the room, Eren is still in here? Unless he went out the window… What are they doing? I don’t hear voices.

20:02

I heard a banging noise. Oh god, they’re not doing IT are they?!!

20:03

Because that would be really, really awkward. And if they are doing it then they’re very quiet.

20:04

Listening to people having intercourse accidentally is one thing but intentionally… yeah I’m just going to leave now and try to stop the blood rushing to my head before I get a nose bleed. Continue observation following morning.

20:05

Maybe Levi gagged him. Oh GOD NO JUST SHUT UP HANJI.

05:15

Position: Tailing the duo to the dinning room

They left together, so Eren was in the room all night. Although he isn’t producing any pheromones, from what I know. Either that or I’m just one big gay woman. (not as gay as those two though) Levi appears to be clinging onto Eren’s arm and talking to him, the other looks mildly nervous as his face is flushed and he has this habit of avoiding eye contact and flinching at physical contact, which Levi seems to be initiating. A lot.

This is actually pretty embarrassing to watch. They’re so lovey-dovey. Urgh. Wait, Levi also appears to be blushing?! Are those flirtatious eye flutters I see before me?!! I’m dying, surely I must be dead, send help. It’s almost as if they have a crush on each other and Levi’s being more forward than Eren… but his actions seem vaguely familiar? Full effects are showing. They have to be. It’s good to know he didn’t die because of my potion. I wish they’d hurry up and invent popcorn; this is great to watch.

 

05:31

Position: Under a table some feet away from theirs

Levi chose to sit next to Eren, who still seems to be very nervous. No-one else is in the room except us three. I feel like a ninja in the darkness in here. Yahoo!

05:32

I really need to stop doing that out loud. Had to cover the sound by pretending to be a bird, not that they’re noticing me anyway. Effects of drug seem to include drastic personality changes. Levi is still very touchy-feely with Eren, his eyes seem to be quite glazed? Or is it just the rose tinted view of world when in love? (puke) His actions seem to be very familiar. Unable to identify it.

05:36

Oh god he has Eren’s personality. I should’ve known it when I added that thing to the potion, duh. Obvious now. Have they had a personality switch?

05:38

Previous conclusion apparently false as both are laughing, or giggling? Neither appear to act stoic.

05:42

HAHAHA Levi asked suuuuch an inappropriate question because Eren was blushing. Yeah… I don’t think I should repeat it. It’s quite dirty. Eren excused himself quickly to go to the bathroom. It doesn’t seem like something Levi would do, so previous conclusion is definitely false.

05:43

HOLD ON A MINUTE I’m pretty sure Levi has made such a joke before, although much less dirty. And he displayed it as deadpan rather than false innocence. This means that Levi is still Levi? But also Eren? He’s fidgeting in boredom since Eren isn’t back, it seems like something Eren would do.

05:44

I should do this whole “drug Levi” thing more often. He’s so cute like this. Much like Eren is when around Levi.

05:45

ERWIN?!! Shit shit shit I’m so dead AWAY WITH YOU, DEVIL’S CRETEN SON!!

05:46

Erwin sitting opposite Levi, Eren next to Levi. Seems as though Eren asked for the dick’s help with Levi. Why? I thought he liked Levi acting like this? He must’ve been really nervous. The two older men are subtly battling out Levi’s new behaviour, Eren isn’t following the conversation. There is so much sexual tension. Erwin; I always knew you were gay.

05:48

Seems as though Levi won as Erwin asked for his help but was denied immediate attention to his order.

05:49

Levi talking to Eren about Erwin being a big fat meanie. I feel for you buddy. Oh and about books, mystery books. Now I know what to get the guy for a present. Brilliant.

\---

As Hanji was about to read over the next note, the door opened a crack, revealing Levi to be standing outside. Was he trying to hide behind the door?

“Levi? What are you doing here?! It’s the middle of the night, isn’t it?”

She scrambled to hide all the notes as inconspicuously as possible, some fell on the floor. Hopefully he wouldn’t notice.

Levi walked inside the room, closing the door behind him and hovered there as he glanced around the room, his expression remaining blank. He would often comment on how untidy it was, with the several used cups and plates, the papers strewn everywhere and the wax dripping from dozens of candles all over the place. Tonight, he seemed to have other things on his mind because he didn’t mention it. He walked over to her desk and stood opposite her with arms folded. The desk provided good fort protection from whatever Levi was about to hurl at her.

“I’m aware that you drugged me this morning with the tea you gave me.” he glared at her. “Care to explain why?”

Hanji peered at Levi’s face. Hmmm, something seemed off about his usual glare. That was it; the piercing gaze. The eyes part was wrong. His grey eyes were unfocused, probably from booze and they were very red and slightly swollen… She felt her face fall.

She said softly; “I take it I’m responsible for what happened during the time you were drugged… and after as well?” She clasped her hands together, elbows on the desk, resting her chin on her knuckles.

Levi avoided her sympathetic gaze, uncomfortable with being seen unlike his usual self and having it pointed out.

“Tell me why you did it. I assume it wasn’t for fun because your idea of “fun” always includes titans “this” or titans “that“. Who put you up to it?”

Hanji smiled a little, Levi was still good at noticing small details about people. He was just as blunt about it as always, too. The effects must have worn off by now, because this person was all Levi. Even if he was acting strangely.

“Erwin. Although he won’t tell me why. I only did it because he was threatening me at knifepoint. Although I have to admit, it was pretty fun.”

She grinned at him as he rolled his eyes.

“So what happened between you two that made you come here? Or are you here to gossip? Maybe you need oil as lube or something? I might have that somewhere…”

She reached down into a drawer but Levi’s words halted her mid action.

“Couldn’t be further from the truth.”

He sat down in the chair he’d been standing next to.

Oh dear. This was bad. This meant bad news.

She had a billion questions to ask him, but out of the goodness of her heart and the slight worry she had for her friend, she allowed him to prepare what he was about to say. He sighed deeply.

“Basically, the effects of the drug or whatever the fuck you gave me wore off while we were… Preparing the foreplay ritual and I told him to get out of my room, because I was quite flustered.” He blushed and stared down at the table. “

“He did as he was told, although I think he was upset. I slept and I had a dream where I remembered what it felt like when under the influence of the drug, how I acted and what I felt when with Eren.”

“…Wow. You sure know how to deflower a story. It’s a shame that that’s the only thing you deflowered though…

That earned a glare, she chuckled at Levi. She took a long look at Levi who was looking right back at her, all stoic-like and as his irritated self.

“Are you okay? Your eyes are red, so I can assume you’ve been crying?”

Levi’s mouth opened slightly in disbelief, his eyebrows raised in pain. Hanji felt a little part of her heart break off. This was one of those moments when you really just wanted to give that person a hug to stop them from looking like that, and it was even more painful because there was no way Levi would allow Hanji to cuddle him. He was just that kind of person. It wasn’t really rare to see him with an actual facial expression, but ones like this were definitely a once in a lifetime thing.

Levi let out a shaky sigh as he tore his eyes away from Hanji’s worried ones. He was terrified of breaking down in front of other people, because if he wasn’t good enough and disappointed them, he lost their respect. After that he would be left with nothing, because he just wasn’t a likeable person. But… this was Hanji, his friend of many years even if she irritated him to no end. He was also choosing to go to her for help. Even if she was the cause of this whole thing, she could also be the solution and the price of the solution was him opening up to her.

“I…I did get upset, yes. I think it was because Eren left and I… Yeah I really didn’t want him too. But it was because I was panicking, so I just wanted it to go away, I wanted the nervousness to go away and he was making me nervous. So… But I’m fine now. I’m not here for that.”

She tilted her head, her glasses glinted in the flame that flickered beneath them both.

“What are you here for then? Therapy?”

He snorted in laughter. “No, nothing of the sort. I’m not that passive and breakable.” He smirked slightly.

Yeah, that couldn’t be more true. Hanji sighed in relief. Levi continued.

“I figured it’d be easier to talk to Eren if I took the drug again, because I was more approachable to him earlier on, more than I usually am.”

“That’s probably because he’s an approachable person. Seeing as you shared the same personality traits today, that should work again.”

Levi raised his eyebrows minutely. Ah, wait, should she have said that? He’d definitely kill her if he knew she’s spied on him all day and yesterday.

“Is that all that happened? I mean, I wasn’t exactly sure what had happened but… So that means I was Eren?”

“Sort of. You were… still yourself, you just had similar behavioural traits and perhaps shared his beliefs for some time.”

“Why him? Why did I experience his personality?”

Aaaand this was where Hanji was trapped. However, Levi was Levi and she had to tell him the truth.

“Right! So, about that… Well, I can’t get you another potion quite yet for the very same reason…”

He frowned at her, clearly not liking the sound of what would come.

“The potion required and still requires Eren’s DNA, which I received from his hair. That means, in short, that you drank a strand of his hair.”

Oh… that had been worth it! Levi was so gob smacked and disgusted oh this was priceless, oh dear lord…!

“That’s,” he grimaced. “That’s fucking revolting.”

“If you ever get down to it with him, you’ll be drinking much worse things, I can assure you.”

He took a deep breath as he processed this information and stared at the table. He raised his determined glare to her face.

“I’ll do it. If that‘s what required for me to talk to Eren and fix this shitty situation then so be it. It‘s not as if I‘ll be able to taste it, right?”

“That- that’s right!! It’ll just taste like the tea you had this morning! You’ll never taste it at all? What does hair even taste like? I don’t know, and neither will you. Actually, I grounded it before so basically it was just particles-you can’t taste something that small. No way, not possible.”

He nodded, his shoulders loosened in visible relief.

“Are you sure you don’t want to just try talking to him though? You’re doing pretty well just now. Did you even realize you were naming the emotions you felt? I’ve never heard you do that before. Also, the drug will take just as long to work, just under twenty four hours, and I‘m not too sure on what side effects are being caused inside your body.”

“I’ve made my decision, Hanji.”

“Alright then… I just need to get the final… ingredient then. Wait right here!”

She jumped from her desk chair, sending papers flying, and half skipped down the passageway.

Aw hell yes! This was going to become really fun now!

All she needed was someone to tell her the details of what had happened during the training and afterwards, since she hadn’t been able to be there for it.

And she knew just the person who would tell her everything.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren has a hangover and he is NOT a happy bunny.
> 
> Our protagonists mope, then dine together. 
> 
> There may be some fluff.

Eren jolted upright in his bed, terrified and gasping without knowing why. The heavy, incessant throbbing in his head made him groan in pain and carefully descend his head back down onto the pillow. Yeah, that sure didn’t help him to feel any better.

His entire body was pounding and his mind was spinning in circles. Yup, laying down really hadn’t helped any. He slung a hefty arm across his face to drown out any light he might find . Not that there was any in the pitch darkness of his cell. 

It was impossible to go back to sleep. His stomach was lurching, threatening to show him whatever he’d eaten the day before, mixed with acid and the vile feeling crawled up his throat, stinging his nose with a rancid smell. His mind still spun, showing him random images-that were way too bright for his mood right now-and he couldn’t focus on them. He made a huge effort to try and stop thinking, to breath a bit more evenly after his gasping spell and after some time he was able to think more clearly.

What in the Walls had happened last night to make him like…like this?

A flurry of memories flickered past his closed lids. 

Dinner in the dining hall with the soldiers. No, wait, a drinking party at the table. He’d felt really cold after drinking one too many. He’d tugged someone close to keep himself warm, Levi. 

Eren’s blood ran cold for a second. Levi Heichou… he hadn’t minded? He’d… he had actually told the elite soldiers that they were together? Eren cringed at the memory. 

And then, the freezing gust of air as they went outside, to play “hide and seek” of all things. Running drunkenly to a dusty shed, hazy grey eyes, half open, staring into his own… A kiss… Eren gulped as he felt heat reaching his face and bubbling through his chest. 

Back at the castle to have more drinks. Taking Levi, a sick, red faced Levi, up to his room.

His eyes shot open and his arm left his face at that specific memory. Eren hissed in pain as his eyes throbbed and he returned to his previous position. 

Levi’s clean and tidy bedroom. Being pulled onto soft, white sheets onto another body. Eren’s blush crawled onto his neck and the tips of his ears as he hid himself further beneath his scratchy blankets.

Levi being…suggestive, calling him “Commander Eren”. Tugging his actual fucking underwear to his knees then laughing as Levi diverted his gaze with a grin. Ugh. Just because Eren didn’t have the privilege of shaving. Was that all that had happened?

Then… Petra? No, before her. Um. Oh-Levi. Oh god, he’d started acting strange and he’d leapt from Eren’s touch. Sent Eren out his room. He was stoic again. 

Crap.

Eren’s mouth trembled and his eyes prickled with tears at the memory of Levi’s harsh words, his uneasy glare, his wavering voice- all because of Eren.

Then walking. Then Petra.

Then Erwin. 

Erwin Smith. 

Oh, just the name made Eren want to rip the walls of his cells apart, limb from limb; just as he would later with Erwin’s torso. 

“It couldn’t hurt to recall it, right?” 

Right?

Had it hurt? To reminisce of his Mother’s death; the bloody, gruesome, traumatising and utterly horrific murder of the woman who had lovingly raised him? That he himself had witnessed, unable to help her?

Eren ground his teeth together, resulting in the sound of a crack in his jaw that he ignored. He growled loudly into the darkness.

Of fucking course it had hurt. It still hurt, badly. Eren had the full intention to kill that man. How in holy hell had he ever brought himself to believe that that fucking bastard had ever been nice to him? His blood was boiling, steam became visible around him and his painful headache was forgotten as he realized just how much he completely detested the devil that was the goddamn fucking Commander.

Eren was jolted from his vicious plots of murder when he heard the sound of footsteps.

A cold sweat drenched his spine. 

Levi?

The thought of having to face Levi again had Eren paralysed in his bed, eyes staring into darkness, unable to shift his body that was suddenly too heavy to lift. 

How would Levi act towards him? Would he be silent and avoid eye contact? Would pretend that last night had never happen and insult him as he usually did when he called him “brat”? 

The term, should he use it, would seem almost affectionate, now.

How should Eren act towards him? Because already, he was a panicking mess and over-thinking his every move that he hadn’t even made yet. He didn’t know if he could or if he should forgive-

Erwin loomed behind the bars and unlocked the door with one hand, the other cradling a candle that flickered in the darkness. He squinted into the dark cell. 

Eren’s breathing had become erratic and it scraped roughly against his throat as he resisted the urge to bite his thumb, to attack Erwin head on and to drive Erwin’s skull through the hardest wall known to mankind as he held with death grip on the blankets, his nails digging into his palm through the fabric. 

“Eren, are you awake?” Erwin paused in the doorway, waiting for a reply. 

Eren grunted, not trusting that he wouldn’t scream a long line of curses and threats, as much as he would’ve liked to do just that. 

“It’s a free day today, so everyone has permission to rest and do as they please. Although, if you feel the urge to clean, I’m sure Levi would appreciate it.” Erwin chuckled. 

How dare Erwin have the fucking nerve to laugh while in his presence, after everything he’d done? He could taste the iron on his teeth as he vividly imagined ripping Erwin’s nose off. The his arms, then moving swiftly onto his legs-

“I’m afraid however, although it’s a free day you still have to be supervised and must leave your room in order for us to do that. I’ll have to ask you to come out your room once you’re ready.”

He must?

He must leave his room?

In what world did this freezing dungeon count as a fucking room?! He’d been chained and locked up and held hostage in here for countless nights. How could he even call this a room when he himself had such a fucking luxurious chamber? There were people that starved in the streets while he had a bookshelf with books he’d probably never read and never would that could buy an entire family’s food for a year.

And he fucking called this cell a room?!

How tempting it was to throw the pillow. To throw the bed. Maybe the wall, just throw it at Erwin and scream at him so that everyone in the castle and beyond heard him. 

He flung his feet onto the floor, almost sprinting past Erwin, the effects of the alcohol from the previous night fading fast. He bit on the inside of his lip, drawing blood that he pretended was Erwin’s and marched in front of him.

“Are you alright Eren?” 

No, he was NOT fucking alright. Not for a million years.

“Yes sir! I’m perfectly fine!” 

He said it loudly, unable to keep the acidic edge to his voice from his words. He kept his distance from an oblivious Erwin so he wouldn’t be scolded for answering back so rudely.

Because no matter how mad you got, you could always be afraid of the one thing that made you angry, especially when they had control of your life. And your death. And that made you even angrier because you could do fuck all about it and had to deal with it.

And that was what being a teenager meant. 

\---

Although Eren got angry frequently, he found he forgave people quite quickly and forgot what he was mad about a few minutes later. 

Today was the exception.

He requested permission to stay outside-alone, through his teeth. He was granted it, with a puzzled expression from Erwin, but he fiercely ignored that. 

Eren found a quiet place and sat on stone steps next to an old slate well. He kicked off his shoes, not caring where they landed and felt the grass at his feet tickling like his mother’s fingers had done when he was a child. He lay on the top step that led onto a rocky path, his arms rested on his stomach as he sighed. 

He stared up at the sky that was blank, blanketing their world in an empty white-grey. A light breeze swept over his body, flicking his hair into his eyes which he ignored, being too involved in his own thoughts to care. The frown never left his face as he slowly depicted in his mind the reasons why he should have realized what an asshole Erwin was. 

Yesterday morning. He’d told Erwin that Levi had been flirting with him. He’d been panicking, but as he thought about it, Erwin had glared at him, hadn’t he? With dark intentions in his eyes. Behind those fucking bushy eyebrows that hid his thoughts. Eren remembered how blatantly Erwin had been ignoring him as he spoke to Levi, then ordered Levi around, which had made Eren mad. 

His frown eased slightly as he thought about Levi’s actions. Levi had told him he didn’t like being Erwin’s dog, that he hated being ordered around like he was a slave. Had he been being honest? Clearly, yesterday, all the cutesy things he’d done had all been a lie, to get to Eren, to humiliate him that night and make him realize that everyone in this castle was repulsed by him and wanted to avoid him. Maybe he and Erwin were in cahoots. 

Then again, even if Levi didn’t say things like that normally, maybe his act or whatever had happened to him-he did mention thinking he’d been poisoned by Hanji-it had made him tell Eren the things he really thought.

Well. Whatever. That Levi, that bullshit faker, he was gone now. So no more “honesty” of any kind would come from Levi to torment him. Eren sighed heavily, letting himself close his eyes and lose himself in his thoughts. 

This was the only escape he had, and it would only last a day. 

\---

Petra glanced from the castle tower window, down at Eren, who was still outside on the stairwell. She rested the damp cloth on the windowsill and sighed sadly. This was really worrying. Eren had been outside, in the exact same spot, for hours on end. Five hours, to be precise. Eren fidgeted a lot, like when waiting for orders; he was the kind of person that needed to move around to stay sane. This was unlike him, maybe even a little unhealthy for him since it was freezing outside. 

But that wasn’t the case with Eren, was it? Could titan shifters like him reject illness, the same way they could grow back an arm? Eren was like a source of heat, a scalding one at that. He probably couldn’t even feel the cold. 

Whatever had happened with Levi after their drinking party last night (during which she had gotten embarrassingly drunk and fought with Erd who’d been “insulting” her. Ugh.) was most likely not good. 

She hadn’t seen Levi all day. Granted, it was a free day, but even then she expected to see him at least once. She felt obliged to clean, as if he would sense her orderliness and say something to her which would at least reassure her that he was okay. Everyone else was still in their rooms, sleeping off last night. Lazy idiots. 

Petra saw movement in the corner of her eye, in the hallway beside her. It was Auruo; he was walking down the passageway and by the shifty look on his features, it seemed as though he was heading somewhere, looking for a specific room. The chiefs? 

But their rooms were in the opposite direction…

She abandoned her cloth on the windowsill and left the bucket on the floor to follow Auruo.

\---

Even if Levi had been given the title “Clean Freak” from Hanji, that simply wasn’t the case. 

Okay, so maybe his denial of the fact proved invalid as he cleaned his room. Again. After having already done a thorough job of it. Several times. Yes, he couldn’t really argue against her nickname for him now. 

He’d stayed up with Hanji in her badly lit room as she brewed a suspicious, grey coloured liquid after retrieving her “ingredients”. The smell of it made his nose twitch in disgust; the room reeked of the stench the entire night. He wouldn’t taste it, however, Hanji had assured him, since he could always mix his tea with it again. 

As soon as it was prepared, bubbling like poison in the cup, he allowed her to drop a doze of it into his tea and he drank it at eight o’clock in the morning. This meant that he’d have to wait until eight o’clock the next morning for it to start working. This also meant, he had to wait about twenty four hours until he could talk to Eren, as he intended.

Now all he had to do was the waiting part. 

Levi had never had to anticipate an event. He rarely looked forward to anything, because he knew they would eventually come and go, like they were supposed to; all things did this. 

And now that he was expecting the change to happen, there was a giddiness riding around his stomach, attacking his insides and making him restless. And so, that was how Levi remained in his room, cleaning after a sleepless night. (Excluding the time he’d dreamt.)

The varnish on his bookshelf began to wear off, he noticed it as a brown splodge appeared on the white cloth. He exhaled sharply, lifting away the cloth from the wooden surface and dumping it in his sink, resisting the urge to clean the stained fabric. 

Work. He didn’t have time to feel “giddy”. Or clean things pointlessly. He walked across the room to sit as his desk with the papers neatly lined up in stacks. He retrieved a pen and a small glass of ink from a drawer then placed them to the side as he began to read over the files. 

Right; so maybe he wouldn’t be doing work today. 

Around midday, six hours after he’d taken the potion, he was nauseous. After reading the first paragraph of his first file, he had to re-read it since his mind kept wandering. When he focused on it, the words decided to jumble themselves together and make no fucking sense. 

Impatience and irritation won over his effort to work as he left the desk, abruptly standing up and walking over to his bed. He fell onto the sheets face first, not giving a shit that the pristine sheets were now crumbled and that he looked stupid. He groaned into the pillow. 

Waiting was so boring. He wouldn’t have had to wait for so long, maybe not at all, if he’d just kept calm the previous night with Eren.

Actually, maybe it was good that he’d panicked and sent him out quickly. How embarrassing would it be to awkwardly explain that the effects of the drug had worn off and that um, he did not wish to have intercourse with the boy, then the boy having to politely excuse himself from the room? Very. 

Levi was surprised when the imagined scenario became an image in his mind. That… that was certainly new. Another… fantasy? It couldn’t have been a memory. 

Ever since the potion had worn off, Levi had still acted out of character, or so he thought. Like with the giddiness. Like knowing what the giddiness was, what it meant and why he felt it. What it felt like. 

Like being able to picture things in his mind that he hadn’t recovered from his memory, images that were completely unreal, things he’d never seen happen before play out in his mind. 

At some point he must have fallen asleep because he awoke to the sound of knocking. When he looked up he saw Hanji poking her head through the door. He waved her in, his vision still unclear and his eyes groggy. 

“Levi, hey.” 

She closed the door with a frown, walking over to his bed. 

“Were you sleeping just now? What were you doing all day?” She spoke quietly, thank god. 

What had he been doing? Moping around in his bedroom like some bratty teenager? He sighed.

“This was… the only way I could think of to avoid seeing Eren in person, before it’s time to.” 

Levi had no idea where the kid could pop up and he didn’t want to spoil his own plans. Plus, he wasn’t ready to talk to him yet. Although he wanted to talk to him, anything to stop him having to wait. Also because he just wanted to see him.

“Okay, well, you realize it’s seven o’clock at night, right? Have you eaten at all today?”

Seriously? He’d wasted an entire day in his room? He glanced out the window at the far side of the room and sure enough, it was dark outside. His stomach grumbled, making Hanji laugh.

“You don’t have to starve yourself, Levi. Going downstairs to get something to eat wouldn’t kill. In fact, it might even keep you alive.”

He sat up, stretching his arms out in front of his with a quiet grunt.

“Alright then.” he said.

He expected Hanji to comment on his behaviour, seeing as he found himself acting out of place. But she only smiled at him kindly, much like Petra, and left the room. He was a grown man; he didn’t need a babysitter to take him to get food.

Still, it would’ve been nice to have quiet company in the presumably empty dining hall. 

He shook his head, discarding the strange thoughts.

Levi halted at the entrance of the dining room upon seeing a certain brunette sulking at one of the tables, scowling at his bowl as he spun a spoon around in circles, not attempting to eat the soup inside. He looked… quite miserable, sitting by himself like that with such an expression. 

He dropped the spoon against the bowl suddenly, making Levi flinch at the loud noise. Eren crossed his arms on the table and rested his chin on his biceps. He looked around the dining hall absent-mindedly, and saw Levi at the entrance, causing him to open his eyes wide in panic, hurriedly stand up for no particular reason and open his mouth, only to close it again like a fish. He looked away from Levi, blushing furiously and sat down again, fixing his gaze on his bowl of soup. 

Levi’s eyebrow quirked up in amusement, feeling the corners of his mouth curl up at how embarrassed Eren was as he tried to ignore Levi. Eren lifted the spoon of soup into his mouth, gagging as he tasted that it had gone cold. 

Idiot.

Levi walked past him to go into the kitchen store and find the ingredients to make a broth. 

A little while later, Eren was still in his chair as though he was stuck to it, because it seemed like he would’ve left if he could. Levi placed a porcelain bowl of hot broth in front of him. He opened his mouth as he looked up at Levi, who sat down in the chair opposite him. Levi shushed him.

“You might as well eat it, seeing as I made it already. Plus, who rejects a free meal?” 

Ah, Levi could feel himself talking in monotone and his expression smoothing out to become expressionless. He didn’t want that, or else Eren would dismiss him as acting normally. He was trying to make an effort here. He smiled slightly, or at least he hoped it was a smile. But then, Eren probably wouldn’t care, after last night and all…

It must have been a pleasant smile, because Eren was blushing again as he bashfully attempted to cool his soup down by churning it with his spoon. Levi felt a flipping sensation in his stomach, assumed it must have come from hunger, then began to eat his broth. 

They remained silent, both unsure what to say, both far too nervous to make the first move in case the other wanted to say something or didn’t want to talk.

When Levi finished his soup, he decided to take the brave first step and looked directly at Eren.

“I’m sorry for what happened last night. Not, um, for being with you, rather for sending you out of my room. You appeared to be quite shocked, and I’ll admit I was too.”

Eren’s eyes widened, seemingly about to cry as Levi noticed the watery look his eyes had and it panicked him slightly until he saw he also looked happy. Again, with the mixing pot of emotions…

“Thank you for apologising, sir.” 

Sir, he said, not Levi. That had a impersonal feel to it, like it was formal and dismissive. Or maybe Levi was just overreacting. 

“Can I ask why you felt shocked? Was it because I tried to touch you?”

“No! No, no, not at all.” 

Levi raised his voice, startling Eren. He blushed, coughing to hide his embarrassment.

“I was, surprised, to find myself in that situation, even though I remembered what had happened before.” 

Eren’s eyes widened, his breathing stuttering slightly.

“I was correct about my theory that Hanji had-”

“Wait, you mean she poisoned you?!”

“No, shush, just listen.” 

Eren dropped his hands from the table to his lap, looking dejected with a small pout. 

“Hanji slipped me a potion, and apparently it made me have…a part of your personality.”

Eren frowned, thinking this information over.

“But… I don’t act like that. I mean, I don’t flirt how you did then, do I?” 

Now it Levi’s turn to blush furiously. He really had been flirting, hadn’t he? He rubbed his cheek with a clammy palm.

“No, you’re right; you don’t act like that. Hanji also mentioned that I was still myself while also integrating your traits into my characteristics, my behaviour and such.”

“So… What does that mean?”

“I’m not sure entirely. You mentioned I was…flirting. Perhaps, maybe, I myself had the intention to flirt with you and your traits allowed me to portray my thoughts? You are quite an expressive person, you do tend to say what’s on your mind.”

Why was it so difficult to breathe? Levi’s heart was hammering as he rambled, his voice shaking often. It didn’t help when Eren leaned over the table, looking directly into his eyes with those green orbs of his, making Levi gulp audibly.

“You had the intention to flirt with me, sir?”

Levi looked at Eren’s face, his gaze falling onto his mouth that was partially open then back into his eyes as all the heat in his body arranged itself into his cheeks.

“M-maybe.” 

Levi could smell the soup on Eren’s breath, saw his eyes were dilated due to the darkness of the dimly room and how the fabric of his shirt curved around a supple skinned, tanned neck… Shit; this was going straight to his groin, which now felt hot and twitched uncomfortably against the fabric of his pants. 

“I think I should go to bed; I ended up not sleeping at all last night, working and all, hah. Good night, Eren.”

Levi stood up, briskly making a beeline for the closest door. He felt a warm hand on his wrist and he turned to see Eren pulling him towards him. Why was it so fucking hot in this goddamn room?!

“I wanted to spend some time with you today, if you’ll allow me to.”

Eren was looking up at him with puppy dog eyes, Levi had apparently never noticed just how big and girlish looking they were. He shakily heaved a heavy sigh.

“I really am tired, you know.”

Eren still pleaded with his eyes. Argh, how could he reject a face like that?! Levi was close to being a puddle on the floor.

“B-but I think I could spare some time for you tomorrow.”

Levi licked his lips without realizing as his hooded eyes flickered between each of Eren’s. Eren gave him a warm smile, squeezing his wrist lightly and rubbing his thumbs into the joint.

“I’d like that very much.” Eren’s voice was low and husky, quiet so that only Levi could hear him. 

“O-okay then.” Ugh, that sounded so high pitched.

“Could you take me to my cell?”

“Oh, yes, of course.” He sighed a breath of relief. All this “being around Eren” business was making him too nervous to function properly.

Levi trembled as Eren released his wrist, hoping Eren couldn’t hear how loud his heart was beating or how ragged his breathing was or his thoughts about how handsome Eren looked and didn’t notice that Levi couldn’t stop staring at him with his mouth hanging open slightly like some kind of moron and that he was shaking like a leaf in the autumn-

They eventually made it to Eren’s cell after walking through dark passageways without a candle. Levi winced at the thought of having to sleep in such a badly furnished room, had it even been cleaned? He couldn’t help the twitch in his nose. With a quivering hand he locked the metal door with Eren inside, only to see Eren poking his face through the bars with a sly grin.

“Could you come here, Heichou? I’d like to tell you something.”

Levi stepped towards where Eren stood, waiting for whatever Eren had to say.

“Come closer.”

With a puzzled expression, Levi moved the side of his face closer to the bars to hear Eren, almost touching the cold metal with his.

Eren leaned forward and kissed his cheek. 

They’d kissed before, just that one time in the shed, oh-and the time during training when Levi had kissed his cheeks- but this time, it made Levi squeal and he reeled back, holding onto the side of his face with eyes wide open and mouth gaping in shock. 

Eren chuckled at the sight, his vision better than most people’s, which helped when in the shadows. Oh hell yes had that been worth it, he hadn’t been expecting the shrill cry. He looked adorable, blushing uncontrollably like that. It was completely unlike the Levi that had blushed in his stead. 

“Ah, thank you, for listening to me. Good night, Levi Heichou.” He purred the corporal’s name. 

He smiled at Levi who couldn’t find it in himself the capability to scowl or glare back and walked away from the cell without a word. 

Levi lasted until he reached the corner, the wall hiding him from Eren’s view.

“The fuck was that?” he shouted in a whisper.

His legs gave way after having felt like liquid for so long and he collapsed onto the ground, hiding his burning face in his hands as he groaned quietly.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi being his other...other ....

A drug? A potion?

No, that wasn’t required to make Levi act like a idiot.

Oh no.

He’d done it again, gone out of character to the extent that he didn’t even recognise himself anymore. Stoic? Him? No, how could you say that about a man that rambled, spilling words without any sort of filter, desperately trying to tear his gaze from a green eyed boy’s incessant hold on Levi’s eyes, like it had anchored itself in his soul? Just how, exactly?

Also, squealing? What was the deal with that? 

Why had he wandered from the cell to his room with a vibrant tingling sensation in the pit of his stomach and on his cheek? 

Did everyone labelled “Humanity’s Strongest Soldier” flop onto his bed backwards with a ridiculous smirk that threatened to turn into a grin? And did said soldier hug his pillow to his chest as he giggled and squirmed around on blankets?

Well, apparently he did. 

Oh just fuck it; whatever the hell he was feeling now, he knew it was good. Definitely some form of happiness, but with a sense of breathless elation and lots of battering rams bashing around inside his stomach. The last time he’d felt something this extreme was during the time he’d taken the drug, but this was even worse. Or better? And if a kiss from a certain Jaeger was all it took for him to experience this rapture, then he would definitely find his way back to that boy. 

From on top of moonlit blankets, Levi crawled into his bed covers and lay facing the wall, away from the window and he pulled them up to his chin. Upon entering his room, he’d somehow lost his shoes and he was oblivious to the fact that he hadn’t changed into nightclothes. He pressed pale fingers to the wall opposite him, pushing his lips together to stop a smile from spreading. 

What a cheeky little shit. He never saw that small kiss coming. He really needed to learn the whole “flirting business” he and Eren were apparently investing themselves into. With heavily hooded eyes, Levi let them droop until they closed and curled his hands into his chest under the covers. 

His eyes shot open. He’d forgotten the plan. The plan was ruined. Well, one half anyway. He’d done the second part so that was okay. 

But tomorrow, he’d wake up with Eren’s personality weaved into his own. 

He tossed over in the bed, groaning into the pillow as he closed his eyes, hoping for a dreamless sleep.

Whoopsie…

\---

For Eren, waking up in the morning that day was a momentous occasion. For the very first time since sleeping in his cell, he hadn’t woken up in a sweat. He checked his breathing that echoed the empty cell. Nope, no signs that he’d been gasping either. That was sure a plus. It was nice to not feel like something in his dreams was trying to chase him into his reality. Yeah. Real nice. Hmmm.

He wrapped the blankets closer to him, feeling the rush of heat from his body waft over his face. Content from the warmth of his bed, he hummed in the peace of the cell and closed his eyes again. The shadows didn’t seem to bother him when he was like this, the image of Levi’s appalled and embarrassed face was enough to make him feel less alone. It was such a wonderful distraction too. Whatever confidence had driven him to pull that stunt probably wouldn’t happen again. But there was plenty of other ways to get his corporal hot under the collar, even if he was back to normal.

There was a sharp sound of metal against metal and Eren bolted up in his bed with a start. He peered into the dimly lit darkness. A figure? The candle in the figure’s hand shifted to reveal Levi moving his copper candle holder away from the cell bars. He seemed to be grimacing in embarrassment as he glanced at Eren who was staring at him in drowsy confusion.

Levi was quick to break the hesitant eye contact. 

“…” Levi stared down at his feet.

“…?” 

“Um,” Levi’s voice wavered until he coughed lightly. “So you’re awake already are you, brat? That-that’s good. I’ll unlock the door while you ready yourself. Right.” 

Eren heard a jingling of keys and the sound of Levi hissing in annoyance as he missed the keyhole and clanged the key against the metal door. 

Slipping out from the covers, Eren knelt down onto a cold floor to search for his shoes. The space around him grew lighter when Levi walked into the room, his footsteps muffled on the stone floor. 

With a small, ever so slight smile, Levi asked him if he could see better. The candlelight shone in both their eyes, highlighting the hollows and edges of their skin and bones. Levi’s skin looked darker in the fire and Eren noticed his eyes had dilated in the dark.

“Yes, sir. I’m ready.”

Ugh why did he have to sound so clunky and polite? Every time he got nervous around Levi he just became…weird and overly formal. He’d seen how casual the elites were with him and he sort of wanted that attitude with him too.

He slipped into his footwear and stood to walk with Levi to the dining hall. He glimpsed down at the shorter man, seeing his raven-like black hair almost blend into the shadows and his mouth held in an absent minded parting. Dammit Jaeger; speak to the man. Be a man. Okay, he could maybe let himself look away since staring at Levi when he turned to talk to him would be awkward.

“Levi Heichou… What are we doing today?” Eren high-fived himself mentally. Open questions were a sure fire way to start a conversation.

Levi sighed, furrowing his brow in irritation. “If it was up to me, I’d say each other.”

Eren snapped his head to look at Levi who was trying to cover what he’d just said.

“I-I mean, I mean shifting! Yes, Hanji wants you to go with her for experiments, I’ll accompany you for safety. It’ll be good for you to practice self control.” He face-palmed himself as his cheeks burned. “I could probably learn a thing or two from those damn lessons as well.” he mumbled into his palm.

Eren frowned at him in bewilderment, then finally tore his gaze from Levi who was now pacing ahead of him along with the candlelight. 

“Right…” 

\---

Needless to say, the remainder of their journey was painful. In the extremely awkward sense. 

Something was off, Levi knew it. He hadn’t been this nervous around Eren the last time. Nowhere near it. And now it was as if he had broken speech filter and was dreadfully aware of what he’d said. That damn shitty glasses. She’d better find a nice place for her ashes to be sent off. And soon. 

Levi had woken up with excitement coursing his veins. Eren! He’d be seeing Eren today! And in his child-like rush he’d woken up early, before the moon had even set and stayed up for a while with his legs bouncing as he crouched in his bed. Then, unable to wait any longer after having not seen Eren for the majority of yesterday, he’d gone down to fetch Eren earlier than normal. 

He’d peeked outside of the cell, pressing the candle as close as he dared so he could see inside. Ah, fluffy brown hair was messily arranged on the pillow as Eren opened his eyes and shuffled his blankets with a smile on his face. Levi had sighed quietly then leaned closer without realizing. 

And now, they were the only two in the dining hall, again. 

“I’ll go make us some breakfast, shall I?” 

Shall? Was he acting posh today? Oh, the possibilities that Hanji’s potion would bring.

“Actually, is it alright if I help? I have some idea on how to cook, and it’s been a while since the last time.”

Levi nodded mutely as they both wandered to the kitchen store to pick out some ingredients. Levi chose the eggs in the cooler area of the store where they sat in small boxes on a crate. He noticed Eren making a face at him, no, the eggs? And he turned back, finding day old bread and fresh butter in one of the crates on the lower shelves. Eren thumbed at the bread loaf in his hand. 

“You said, you remembered the day before yesterday, right?”

“Yes, I do.” He walked over to Eren with the egg box in his hand, planning to pinch some of Eren‘s butter for the omelette he would make. 

“Although, the time in which I got drunk is slightly unclear. It‘s a shame really, I heard that it was a rather interesting evening for all of us.” he lied.

Eren grinned sheepishly and looked away from Levi then back again. 

“It’s just, I remembered when you got attacked by the crates when you went to get drinks.” he gulped, about to speak again, but then seemingly decided against it. 

Levi followed him out the store, curiously gazing at his head. What had he been about to say? 

\---

Why on earth did Levi have to be so god damn cute even when he wasn’t trying in the slightest?

They were both in the kitchen by the black stove, standing elbow to elbow and they attempted to heat their food in pans. The tiles on the walls glinted in the sunlight that now crept into the castle rooms.

“I don’t see why you need to heat the bread up. Don’t you normally eat it as it is?” The raw smell of eggs filled the room as Levi’s mixture sizzled and hissed. 

“Well, sir, some days call for exceptions. Like when I’m woken up early.” He prayed Heichou was feeling light hearted today.

“I wasn’t going to wait around for your bastard ass when I was already awake. I ended up waking up way too early for my own good. And to think I didn‘t even sleep the night before.” Levi grumbled as he stirred the gloop in the dish with a wooden spoon. 

Eren chuckled to himself, missing the small smile on Levi’s lips as he picked his toasted bread from the pan with his bare fingers. 

“Eren! Don’t do that, you’ll burn your fingers!” Levi scolded him, his pitch rising in worry.

“Aw dear, now I’m hurt. What are you going to do?” he teased.

Levi looked at the hand Eren limply held in front of him with a pout. Before either of them could think, Levi took Eren’s hand in his own and lightly kissed each of his fingers as he stared at Eren’s surprised expression with a smirk. Then as if processing what he’d just done, Levi dropped his hand suddenly and turned back to his pan. 

“Go eat your food, Eren.” Eren hesitantly turned to leave, just as Levi swatted his ass with a quick hand to make him move faster.

Eren’s eyes widened and he yelped, turning back to Levi who groaned and held a hand over his shockingly beetroot face. 

“Don’t. Just don’t ask.” But he didn’t apologise.

“You’re acting very strangely today, Heichou.” He held the warm bread in his hand and the container of the remainder of his butter in the other. He gasped and almost dropped his food his hands flying out to point at Levi.

“You got poisoned by Hanji again, didn’t you?!” 

Levi looked up at him, his shoulders slouching and he sighed.

“Maybe I did. And I already told you, I wasn’t poisoned. I developed some of your personality-”

“Okay, but why? Last time you drank that you got really sick and I had to take you to your room.” Levi? Sick? He sure as hell didn’t want to see such a pale face again. 

Levi scooped up his omelette into a plate and walked past Eren into the dining hall.

“Hey! You never answered me! Levi!” he chased Levi to the table.

Levi glanced back, quirking an eyebrow up in amusement.

“Talking to me like that? You have some amount of confidence in you, commander.”

Eren felt the blood run to so many places he lost count.

Seriously? He had to deal with this again?! He was only a meek, teenage boy when it came to hormones. And by the looks of things, he was going to be exercising them with Levi for the rest of the day. He groaned as he slumped into his chair, his loaf of bread half-crushed in his hand. And Levi had the fucking nerve to smirk as though he knew exactly what was going on in his head. 

Just how many Levi’s were there?


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More training and experiments!

A short time after their interesting breakfast together, Levi and Eren found themselves going their separate ways in the castle. Duty called; Levi couldn’t exactly afford to have Eren spend all day with him, as much as Levi would have liked that. Not that he’d admit it. At least, not with his own consent. He’d already blurted that out though, hadn’t he?

Once again, Levi found himself facing his neatly piled papers on his desk. His room was brightly lit with the morning sun and it didn’t feel like the room was small enough to suffocate him. This time, it was easier to concentrate because he didn’t feel ill. 

If anything, the thought of seeing Eren after he was finished made him work even faster than usual; reports were thoroughly skimmed through twice or thrice and his writing was at full speed, but not so fast that drops of excess ink would stain the parchment. 

Somehow, he was able to work and daydream at the same time.

He really did want to see Eren again, didn’t he? If they hadn‘t been captain and soldier with different duties, they probably would have spent the entire day together. And maybe then some. He cringed internally at the memory of how he’d said if it had been up to him, they would “do each other”. 

Something was a bit off about him today, he noted duly. Granted, it was probably the potion, but Levi felt as though he was more like himself than he had been when he took the potion before. Maybe the potion wasn’t as effective after the first time? Hanji had mentioned something about giving him a smaller dose in order to minimize the chances of negative side effects. The only negative side effects Levi could guess he would experience was the embarrassment of his own unfiltered and bizarrely flirtatious mouth. 

He was glad though, he realized as the words of the report flowed out onto the paper in thin, fluid lines and filled the quiet room with its scratching, because… he was more like himself. Yes, and if that were the case, then he’d really be able to see if the brat actually cared for him, and not his other self that was disgustingly cute and affectionate. His other self that liked to invade Eren’s personal space and tease the living daylights out of the poor kid. Not that either of them seemed to mind this…

Being honest, it wasn’t that he didn’t like being physically close to someone, it was just that the sensations felt odd and he didn’t understand what he felt, even though he also somehow did; all in all he wasn’t comfortable with the contradicting feeling so he did his best to avoid it. 

However, if he was also still a little bit like Eren, the least he could do would be to tolerate the touches. Maybe he’d even enjoy them. It seemed that Eren’s slender but muscled forearm had been his favourite place for his hands to roam over and cling onto. Biting back a smile, he finished writing his report and began clearing up so that he could be in time for the shifting experiment he’d be helping out with. 

\---

“Ereeeeennnn! Come on! Give your horse to somebody and get over here! We have experiments to do now boy, hurry it up!” 

Hanji was wearing her uniform, like the rest of them except Eren and paced excitedly in the big, green field, stomping down the grass with each footstep. Eren looked at Petra who stood beside him with a sheepish grin, their horses at either side of them. He handed her the leather reins and slowly jogged over to where Hanji stood a few paces in front of a makeshift table, the pine trees a long distance behind her and they swayed discreetly in the light breeze. There was plenty of space around the castle for the experiment, but it never hurt to keep the horses in shape too. 

She casually slung an arm over his shoulders, pulling his head close to her so that she could whisper.

“So, how did it go?” She asked him, the interest in her voice practically oozing from her mouth.

He blinked at her curiously, seeing her eyes shine through her glasses only centimetres away from his and her brown threads escaping her high ponytail and falling over her face and neck. What did she mean by that? He hadn’t seen her all day yesterday or done anything she wanted to know about so…

“Um, what do you mean?”

She rolled her eyes and tutted with a click of her tongue, as if it was obvious what she meant. “What I mean is, did you get a chance to speak to Levi? How did it go?”

Opening his mouth in protest, about to say “how would you know anything about Levi and I?”, then remembering it had been Hanji who’d given Levi the potion, he decided to just tell her. She already knew something, so he might as well. They continued walking slowly to nowhere in particular while the other soldiers chatted behind them.

He began telling her. “Well, last night we met up in the dinner hall and he made me soup. Um, he said sorry about the night before and-”

“Wait, last night? He spoke to you last night?” There was an urgency in Hanji’s voice that seemed a bit different to her usual excitement.

“Well, yeah, I was about to eat and he came in and-”

Hanji clutched him closer, almost choking him. “Wow! I didn’t think he’d have the guts to do that! He even asked for another potion so he could speak to you again!” 

“He what?”

Hanji looked up at him with wide eyes, letting her arm drop off his shoulder. 

“Yeah well, see; he was really nervous about being around you. He told me that after the effects wore off the first time, he’d ended up getting flustered and sent you out his room. He went to me afterwards so he could get the potion again, so he could talk to you, because apparently it’s easier for him to talk when he’s had the drug. I guess it’s like being drunk?” she shrugged. 

“But anyway, he avoided you all of yesterday, only to end up talking to you before the potion even started working? He must be seriously pissed off that his plan didn’t work. Then again, he’ll be all happy since he’s under the influence of the potion now, so, whatever. Continue?” She finally stopped talking. Thank the walls, his head was beginning to hurt. In the nicest way possible.

Eren paused in his walk, processing all the information. Levi was… nervous? Yes, he knew that; Levi had mentioned that last night. But deliberately avoiding him? For an entire day? Had he been that nervous around Eren? And so much so that he had to be under the influence of a drug just to talk to him?

“After he apologised at the dinner table, he took me back to my cell.” Where Eren had kissed his corporal, Eren bit back smug smile. “And in the morning, I realized he’d taken the potion and he woke me up earlier than usual.” 

He gazed back at Levi who was sitting silently at the table with a cup of tea in front of him, watching the other soldiers talk to one another. His eyes lingered for a second too long because after a few moments Levi looked over to them.

“Oi, Hanji, Eren! We’ve got things to do. I thought you wanted to experiment shitty glasses? Or can we all go home now?” Levi glared at them as he moved to sit sideways to face them, his tea left unattended as he rested an elbow on the table.

“Yes, Eren! Let’s go experiment!” Hanji dragged Eren to a random spot in the field and began explaining far too quickly what she wanted him to do.

\---

Levi was down on the ground. He needed to pick Levi up. Gotta pick him up, make sure he don’t crush Levi with his fingers. Gotta keep his fingers loose so he don’t hurt Levi. 

Reaching down as he crouched in the field, the smoke began to disappear as it drifted upwards. Levi stood in front of Eren’s titan form, looking at him with his usual calm and stoic temperament. Eren placed a heavy hand on the ground that tickled his knuckles as he stared unblinkingly at Levi with large eyes. Levi delicately stepped onto his hand, as if it were a platform and Eren paused to make sure Levi was safely on before raising his hand up slowly, gazing at Levi with a strange calmness he never normally felt during his time as a titan. 

He’d been scared at the beginning of this experiment, remembering the last time that he’d shifted had been unplanned and had caused the soldiers to gang up on him, so they could protect themselves. Afterwards, Levi had assured him that although they weren’t supposed to trust him, they were there for him if he needed it. 

That day, when Eren had been close to tears when talking to Heichou at the bottom of the stairs in the castle. He’d made proper eye contact with Levi, who Eren only then realized did really care for him, even if it was just as a soldier. At least he saw Eren as a person. One with feelings, no less. 

The grey in Levi’s eyes as he looked into his had made his heart skip a beat and his mind melt, rendering him unable to remember anything other than to say “okay” and returned upstairs with him. He’d never been able to look at Levi the same way again. Admiration was replaced with something a little more sentimental.

Today, it had only taken one look at his corporal to know that even if something bad happened again, he wouldn’t be blamed for it. He was still learning; he knew that. 

Now, when Levi looked into his eyes, calmly instructing him to let him down, a sense of adoration overwhelmed him, making the heat around his body dull peacefully into an internal warmth in the pit of his ribcage. A shadow cast over Levi’s face as Eren faced the sunlight, sharpening the angles of the older man’s jaw and darkening the colour of his dilated eyes. There wasn’t any titan between them when he felt like this; it was just the two of them, in this space they shared. 

“Oi, Jaeger, quite gawking at me and let me down.” Levi smirked at him, his amusement showing through the glint of his eyes. 

\---

The rest of the experiment had gone without a hitch and Levi even congratulated him when he returned to his human form.

“You performed well today. Good work for not blowing anything up.” Levi told him with a smile in his eyes. 

Or maybe Eren was just imagining what he saw? His feelings weren’t necessarily returned, even if Levi had apologised. Levi was still under the influence of the drug because he couldn’t talk to Eren while he was himself. 

“You did an amazing job, Levi Heichou. It’s no wonder you’re Humanity’s Strongest Soldier.” Eren smiled at him weakly, tired from transforming several times that day.

Levi glanced at him in mild confusion, then shook his head and snorted a laugh. 

“I guess flattery might be one way to try to get into my pants.”

“W-what? No, no! I just meant-”

Auruo, who’d already gotten onto his horse mumbled “Here we go again.” and the other soldiers chuckled at the comment. 

Eren sighed and got up onto his horse. “Now look what you’ve done.” He gestured in the soldiers’ direction. “They’re going to think that we really are together if you keep it up like this.”

Levi, who was already on his horse, rode over to him and yanked his wrist.

“Who says we’re not? I made it pretty clear the other day, didn’t I?”

Eren felt the heat in his face and he muttered “It didn’t seem that way when you avoided me yesterday.” 

He wasn’t about to let go of the fact that he’d missed seeing Levi for an entire day and had been left outside to stew by himself. Geez, even if he’d been nervous the least Levi could do was talk to him. Even once would’ve been fine. He’d thought Levi well and truly hated him until he apologised.

Levi loosened the grip on Eren’s wrist, looking at Eren with what seemed to be… a pained expression?

“Hey, it’s not like I meant to, it’s just… I was waiting for the potion to work so I could talk to you. Lord knows I would’ve fucked up royally if I’d tried speaking to you beforehand. It was by chance that I came across you in the dinning hall and pure luck that I was idiotic enough to even go in there to apologise. Somehow it ended up turning out alright. Or so I thought.” Levi frowned.

“It’s fine now, isn‘t it? I already apologised and you now know my reasoning.” he huffed an irritated sigh and rode on ahead of him to lead the soldiers. 

Time spent with Levi was precious, they had less than a month now before it was decided what to do with Eren. 

He should probably just get over it, though. If Levi said he was nervous and needed help and time to prepare in order to talk to Eren; then fine. Eren would wait. Otherwise, even more time would be wasted while he sulked. 

Eren rode his horse, bouncing in time with the canter as they ran and listened to the horses’ pounding footsteps. Hoofsteps? He managed to race ahead to parallel himself with Levi, and gave him a small smile to say “hey, I don’t mind that you avoided me, we’re cool now”. Levi mirrored it, then rode closer to Eren.

“I’ll take you up on your offer to spend some time together tonight. Seeing as we‘re “together” as I said before. I’m not a man to back out of something serious like a relationship quite so easily.” His smile broadened when he saw Eren’s eyes widen happily at the proposal. 

\---

Having the soldiers’ consent to date made life a lot easier for the duo. It meant that they could go outside the castle together without having to avoid raising suspicion. They could even tell them where they were going if they wanted to. 

Eren and Levi passed Petra on their way to the front door of the castle after having had dinner, the long hallway beginning to get darker, now that the sun was setting and the stone walls lighting up as Levi carried a lantern, which would have to last them however long they were outside for. Petra only smiled sweetly at them and waved as she made her way to her room, carrying her own candle in it’s holder. 

When she was a little way behind them, she muttered “If you’re doing it outside I guess I won’t be needing to block my ears then, huh. The birds’ll be parroting your names tomorrow in the morning song, though. Brilliant.” She coughed, as if to hide her giggles.

Levi and Eren spun around to look at Petra, but she’d already disappeared around the corner. Eren looked at Levi bashfully, laughing out loud when he saw Levi with the same expression and Levi shoved him lightly as Eren opened the heavy door. The sun was still only just in the sky outside, colouring it with rich pinks and oranges. Eren sighed to himself in contentedness as Levi reached out for his forearm, both of them shivering delightedly at the touch. 

A few meters behind them, Erwin stood in the hall as he watched the door closing behind them. With an expressionless face, he ran his fingers through his hair, relaxing his grinding teeth and walked away, back into the shadows.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Levi's date! But Levi's changed back, what will happen?

In near darkness, they sat by the bank of a stream that flowed gently through the wood and led under the castle, with the sun having long ago set and the only thing lighting the brittle grass around them was the lantern, which burned dimly, threatening to extinguish itself at any second. 

Not that Levi noticed, he was watching the water as it hopped over the rocks leisurely from his position between Eren’s arm-rest like legs, resting his hands on Eren’s thighs as though he was sitting on a throne. He relaxed further into Eren’s embrace, his back prickling with warmth from his body heat and following the rise and fall of Eren’s chest. 

Levi sighed contentedly to himself. Had he ever been held like this before? Eren nuzzled his face into Levi’s hair, making Levi bite back an embarrassingly broad smile. The answer was most likely no, and he couldn’t ever recall being this intimate with someone either. 

The strangest thing was that he didn’t mind it, maybe he’d go as far as to say he enjoyed it, that he’d possibly crave this fluttering sensation in his gut and Eren’s warmth in time. 

Which was weird, considering that the potion had worn off a while ago. 

It was odd, to be in such a enclosed space with someone. Even so, he still felt this weightlessness, this elation in his body and Eren made it easier to tolerate with his simple minded, innocent and curious questions. 

Levi was amused that he still hadn’t caught on to Levi’s change in character. Levi shivered when Eren ran his fingers through Levi’s fine hair, one arm leaving his waist in the process, as he asked yet another question. 

“I’ve been meaning to ask you this, Levi.” Levi closed his eyes absentmindedly at the feeling of Eren’s delicate, trailing fingers and hummed quietly in encouragement. “When we had the drinking party the other night… Do you know that you kept calling me sweetie?”

Levi blushed, stiffening in Eren’s arms, then crossed his own, his hands leaving Eren’s thighs, his gaze still on the river.

“I was drunk out of my mind,” he insisted crossly. “I can’t say I recall calling you something as sappy as that. I’m not the kind of person to do that.”

“Hmm, well, I beg to differ. I bet if I asked the other soldiers…” Eren grinned as he leaned into Levi’s back, fitting his face into the crook of Levi’s flushing neck.

Levi scoffed at him. “You’re just lying about me calling you that because you want me to call you it now.”

Eren moved his hands to Levi’s shoulders.

“I’d never lie to you, you know that, right? We may not know each other well, but I’ll tell you now that I’m not a person to lie so easily.” his voice grew thick was worry, causing Levi to grimace at his own tactlessness. 

“I know. I was only joking, stupid brat.”

“Really?” Eren’s tone was thoughtful. “I thought your jokes only consisted of bowel movements and shit.”

Levi rolled his eyes, though Eren couldn’t see his face. He was practically throwing his personality reversal in Eren’s face by calling him a brat, and he still hadn’t figured it out. He rearranged Eren’s arms to fit around his waist again, hesitating only a little as he leaned into Eren. 

If Eren hadn’t been enveloping him with his furnace like body heat, Levi was positive his teeth would be chattering by now. That concept made more sense than the idea that Levi…might actually, like, this physical contact that he never shared with anyone. 

He sighed. “I only make those kind of jokes when no-one’s got anything better to say.” Eren hummed in reply, and Levi realized his skin was tingling where Eren made contact with his. They were wearing their uniforms, so not too much skin was revealed, but it was more than enough for Levi’s mind to respond in slight panic. Earlier, he’d been much more uneasy when he realized the potion had worn off and he’d been in this same position. 

The things he felt now were similar to the things he’d experienced in the dining room the previous night. What had he felt? 

He remembered being unable to breathe properly, that his thoughts had been all over the place and jumping to conclusions and that his entire body had been burning up. It hadn’t been pleasant, that blinding and nerve wrecking panic. But somehow, as he felt a less extreme version of those feelings after having calmed down in Eren’s arms, and more, pleasant emotions had slipped in as well, he was actually okay with feeling it again. 

He let Eren’s skin touch his, told himself to settle down and stop worrying so much. Which was odd, considering he hated being over stimulated, feelings of arousal included, but with Eren’s sheer innocence and his puppy-like happiness, he was able to mirror it internally.

“What do you do each day, Levi?” Eren asked him suddenly, his voice showing genuine interest. “I always see you cleaning, but when I was in your room I noticed the piles of paperwork and couldn’t help but wonder what they were about.”

Levi pondered this, having never really thought about it before, seeing as he just did what he needed to do. Then again, he knew he had a strict, but amendable routine. He liked the simple life, after all.

“Well, you know already that I take you to your cell. I’m also in charge of reporting daily activities and overviews on experiments. I keep records on supplies, the gear, the squad’s wellbeing, etcetera. Sometimes the higher ups will ask for random bits of information, god knows what they actually do with it all, and-”

A loud rustling noise to their right startled him and Eren, stopping him mid sentence as Eren clutched his sides too tightly.

“Geez Eren,” he wheezed. “There’s no need to shit yourself, it’s probably just an animal.”

Eren shushed him frantically, moving to cover his mouth. Levi made muffled noises of protest, tearing his hand away and twisted around to glare at him.

“Don’t you dare attempt to quell my voice just because you’re being an idiot, and that’s an order.” he snapped at him.

Eren glanced at Levi then looked away sheepishly. “Sorry, sir.” 

Judging by the way Eren called him sir, that meant that he knew the potion had stopped working. Eren was about to continue talking when the rustling noise was heard again, this time in a bush a few feet away from them and it shook visibly. 

Eren gave a small scream and jumped at the sound, falling backwards with his legs flailing stupidly. His feet ended up pushing Levi into the water, his instincts only fast enough to grab a firm hold on Eren’s pant leg in vengeance. With a lot of yelping, they both splashed into the water.

Rising to the surface with a lethal look on his face, Levi hunted the river to find Eren, the water only reaching to his thighs. He found a dark spot in the water and grabbed aimlessly at it, finding Eren’s sleeve and dragged the heaviness towards him. Levi began to hurl obscenities at the boy, but Eren was busy in trying to orientate his senses and ended up coughing up water in Levi’s face. 

He wiped the water from his eyes, scrambling in fear when he saw the terrifyingly cheesy smile that Levi wore. His eyes screamed bloody murder and Eren knew what would happen all too well if Levi caught him. Levi gave a wordless yell as Eren’s feet swept under his and tripped him up. Eren waded forward to rescue Levi and pulled the weight onto the bank, only to be kicked backwards with full force.

“YOU DESERVED THAT YOU PIECE OF SHIT!” Levi shouted at the dark surface of the water, leaving Eren to help himself out.

Eren came up, stooping in the water, gazing at Levi intently, both of their hair and clothes completely soaked and sticking to their skin. He subtly rose his arms and grinned devilishly as he splashed a gasping Levi. He stumbled on his way back to the bank, a few feet away from Levi, hopped out and jogged as fast as he could into the woods, not able to see where he was going. With a small grin of his own, Levi ran and tackled Eren’s back, sending them both onto the grass.

They stared at each other as they posed side by side, huffing from the effort of running with heavy clothing, and only just able to see the colours in the other’s eyes. They looked more yellow than they usually would, due to the lantern that was still amazingly holding out.

Surprisingly, Levi was the first to break into a broad grin and snorted a laugh at Eren‘s dazed expression, hiding his face in the shadow of his body. Eren smiled, basking in the genuine warmth of Levi’s laughter. Realizing that it was the first time he’d ever heard him laugh.

He really needed to make him do that more often.

Levi wiped his hair and threw the droplets at Eren’s face, who blinked in surprise. 

Levi whispered to him, not looking in his eyes. “I don’t know how you do it, but there’s something about you that makes me feel young, like this is how a childhood is supposed to be.”

Eren rolled over to him, wrapping an arm around him, not caring that they were wet and hoping that Levi didn’t mind either.

“If we’re reliving our childhood, then I guess that makes you my childhood crush.” he admitted.

Levi’s eyes widened at that. He looked away into the grass, seemingly thinking about something. After a few moments he looked Eren dead in the eye, making his heart swell and his chest burn.

“The potion wore off.” He told Eren, who nodded, not understanding what he meant. “That means I won’t be flirtatious and cheerful like I was before. Do you mind that?”

Eren reached over to caress Levi’s cheek in pitch darkness; the lantern had given in and now left them in the dark. Eren wished he could see Levi’s eyes, but hearing his breathing hitch was enough.

“The thing is, sir, I already had feelings for you before you took the potion. I’ve been nurturing those feelings for a while now, actually.” his eye lids drooped slightly. 

“So a simple potion isn’t going to change how I feel for you. If anything, I didn’t really like the effect the potion had on you. It made you seem fake since you were so unlike yourself.” 

He chuckled to himself. “Okay, well maybe I liked how cute you were when you clung onto me, but still, you did say that you had those intentions and having my personality only allowed you to portray them. So in a way, you’ll always be like that, to me, anyway.”

Levi moved closer to Eren, their faces only inches apart, and he could make out the silhouette of Eren’s nose. 

“I’m never this close to someone, you know. It’s a strange experience for me. I don’t know what I’m feeling at all. It’s so weird.” Levi grimaced at how uncomfortable it was to say what he really felt.

“Is it a good kind of weird? Do you like it?” Eren asked him worriedly, fearing that Levi would back out, again.

Levi’s face was expressionless as he leaned over to kiss Eren. Eren made a noise of surprise and Levi pulled away, Eren clapped a hand over Levi’s mouth. 

“What are doing?! That’s cheating!” he cried.

He was about to grin when Eren released his mouth but Eren leaned in to kiss him back, a small chaste kiss at that, but it was surprising and frustratingly adorable even so. They both felt the heat rising to their cheeks as they processed what had just happened.

Eren’s voice croaked. “So, I take it you do then? You do like being close? Apparently you do if you’re going about and kissing me out of the blue.”

Levi licked his lips. “Kissing you is good, I think it makes me happy. I…feel like I turn to liquid on the inside and there’s a burning in my chest and my skin feels all prickly when we touch, as well.” Levi looked at him expectantly.

Eren laughed softly. “I’d do it again but I can’t see your face.”

“That didn’t stop you before.”

“I mean, I want to see your face, this time.”

Levi rolled his eyes. “Oh I don’t know about that. Aren’t you supposed to close your eyes during a kiss anyway?” Eren sighed against his face.

“Well, either way, I could use a change of scenery because I’m freezing my ass off and we’re both soaked. I’m actually really surprised that you’ve forgotten about that.”

It was comical, how quickly Levi sat up in horror and groaned at the mess of his clothes. Eren casually slung an arm around Levi, biting his lip and hoping that he wouldn’t comment on it as they walked back to the castle. Eren was only half listening to his complaints while smiling bashfully.

After all, they were “together” now, they’d even gone out on a date, so they could do things like touch each other.

Right?


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Levi go back to their room... some relationship progress?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really just needed some more fluff okay? I think i like this one better than the last chapter tbh. Enjoy :D

A while later in Levi’s room, Eren slipped on his daytime clothes; his new favourite/only brown, cotton shirt and his black trousers made from god knows what, feeling relieved that he’d changed in his uniform after the experiment as he wouldn’t have been able to go down to his cell to get his night clothes. They were slightly dirty, after having been in the laundry pile, but at least they weren’t wet. And he’d gotten to use Levi’s seriously fluffy towel, which was a total bonus. 

He lifted his shirt from Levi’s bed, tossing his wet one into the wicker basket beside his feet. He hummed a random tune happily as he pulled the shirt over his head. To think that Levi had really gone on a date with him! And not only that, but Levi-the real, non-drugged Levi- had been really playful with him, even if it had cost him a few bruises on his knees and chest when Levi had tackled him to the ground from behind. 

It wasn’t like he minded, some people just liked to rough house, himself included, and it was elating just to know that fact that Levi had been playful at all.

Eren sat down on the white sheeted bed that squeaked quietly under his weight, gazing dreamily at the tan walls and was sent into a trance-like daze. The sound of the shower that Levi occupied in the bathroom lulled him further. He didn’t really like being in the rain, as he’d learned from being in the army (a lesson he wished he’d learnt earlier) but the sound of it and the millions of mesmerising droplets that fell from the sky never failed to calm him down. 

When he was still living with his parents, before Mikasa had come, he would go out in the morning to catch a glimpse of the morning dew in the field grass and loved to splash about in the puddles on the street after a downpour.

What would happen now?

They’d gone out on their date, gotten wet, kissed and dried off again in the castle… All Eren had left to do was to either wait for Levi to finish cleaning himself (that could take a while) or go back to his cell unattended. Hmmm, maybe the first, since he’d have to wait for Levi. He had the key, after all.

Of course, like the teenager he was, he’d been tempted to join him in the shower but alas, whatever courage had been bestowed on him a few hours ago, when he’d held onto Levi’s side as he ranted about dirty water, had been taken back by whichever high power had given them to him in the first place. Nice, let him know the renting period for bravery next time, perhaps? Mr Higher Power? Or Miss, whichever it was. He didn’t really want to anger whatever lived in the sky.

He just couldn’t bring himself to do it. And he hadn’t exactly been encouraged by Levi either.

“Oh, don’t look at me like that.” Eren remembered feeling… hungry, at the time. “I’m just taking my clothes off. No need to get your feathers ruffled.” 

Levi had told him this with a slight smirk, one that Eren hadn’t really been paying attention to because hey; Levi had abdominals. NICE abdominals, at that. And lots of them. Eren may have licked his lips at the sight, maybe he didn’t, who knows. Levi knew, probably. Then he’d disappeared-butt naked- into the bathroom. 

Didn’t people normally go into the bathroom to undress before a shower or bath? Either way, Eren certainly wasn’t complaining. And no, he hadn’t been able to look any further down. That would’ve caused an over flow of blood, and he knew Levi wasn’t keen on blood, be it humans’ or titans’.

So yeah, after being caught staring at Levi’s wonderful physique, going into the shower with said man hadn’t been an option. Because, as it so happened to be, Eren was still a very hormonal teenager, so to speak. And he’d literally ran away the last time Levi had intentionally seduced him, when he’d been clinging onto Eren’s arm in the dining hall and asking him crude questions. So Eren just accepted that he wasn’t quite ready yet. Levi hadn’t made a move, so he didn’t need to feel pressured. Awesome.

He lay down on the bed, now half asleep and thinking of the most random things as he drifted, trying not to imagine Levi’s smooth, pale body being drenched in spilling water because WOW was that hot, too hot too hot too hot.

Grabbing a corner of the bed cover, he held it to his chest and closed his eyes, not hearing the water turn off as he fell into sleep.

Eren woke up some time later and found his head on the leg of Corporal Levi and the same man’s fingers running through his hair, as though he were a cat or dog. His other hand held a book-with a large question mark as the cover page-in mid air so that he could read it without disturbing Eren. It was such an innocent touch… but Eren couldn’t deflate the swelling in his chest or bat away the butterflies in his stomach and a stuttering sigh left his mouth. Levi glimpsed at his half open lids with calm, grey orbs and moved his hand away slightly.

“Aw no, don’t stop doing that, it feels nice.” Eren whined playfully at him, reaching out to replace Levi’s hand back on his head, doing his best to ignore the tingles that shot down his spine.

“What are you reading, sir?” He asked as he cast a glance at the book held above his head.

Levi moved his hand to caress Eren’s hair again. “It’s one of those mystery books I told you about. Someone has taken the precious jewellery of someone-someone the fifth and everybody’s asking ‘who dunnit?’. My bet is that it was the baker’s son, because he was mentioned once near the beginning and hasn’t been brought up for a suspiciously long time. And I really don’t like his ‘I’m so nice all the time’ attitude. No, I don’t trust it, rather.”

Eren chuckled quietly. “Is it a good book then, Heichou?”

“Why are you being so formal? We’re dating, I’m pretty sure we’re on first name terms by now.”

“Uh…” Eren shut his eyes tightly as he grimaced in embarrassment. “It’s just that I’m… still…quite nervous around you, and you’re also touching me, so…”

Levi flinched his hand away, looking at Eren with eyes wide from worry at the thought of scaring the green eyed boy.

Eren gasped and waved his hands around frantically, trying to explain. 

“Ah! No! I mean, I’m nervous but I’m not… I’m not afraid of you. I just um… Ah, I like it when you touch me! But it’s also… yeah it’s also nerve wrecking because I like it soooo much but I’m also not used to it quite yet? Which is weird because I was fine when we were cuddling earlier…”

Levi raised an eyebrow, smirking slightly in amusement at the flustered teen. 

“Are you done talking nonsense yet?”

“…Yes.”

“It’s not nonsense, actually. I felt the same way the other day when you cornered me in the dining hall after I made you the broth. It was the same earlier too… I’m not really sure what it was all about though.”

“Yeah, I don’t really understand it either. Why does it seem so scary if we like it at the same time? It’s pretty annoying though, ‘cause if I wasn’t so nervous I’d touch you all over-”

Eren slapped a hand over his burning face, he moved carefully from Levi’s lap to the bottom of the bed-the edge of bashfulness and shame, he labelled it- and tucked his head between his legs.

“See, this is what happens when a teenager gets crazily nervous. Hormones just go about flying everywhere-I hope you’re taking notes on this sir, because you’ll probably need them-and they don’t really mix well with nerves, not one bit. They cause an explosive chemical reaction in the stomach area and the heart, you know. It feels like I‘m boiling inside.”

Levi was probably laughing at him now. Hell, he would be laughing at him now if he wasn’t such a mess. That is… did Levi laugh very often? It didn’t seem to be in his personality to do so, though he still didn’t know him very well. He’d done so earlier that day, though. He laughed, he did. Eren couldn’t get his head around it. No, never mind that, he still couldn’t get over the fact that Levi-not his other self- had kissed him out of nowhere, and it had felt natural, even if it had been a bit surprising. 

He peeked at Levi, who was now crawling towards him across the bed and had abandoned his book by the pillow. Eren sat frozen on the spot and screamed internally when Levi crouched onto his knees and leaned close to him… and reached out to pet his hair. 

He ruffled it, for good measure and sat himself down so he could continue combing his fingers through it.

“You know, I’ve been acting so strangely lately. I can’t tell if it’s because of you or if it’s the potion. It feels so fucking weird to act like this.”

“How so?” Eren’s voice wavered as he spoke; his cheeks were hot and his mouth was tingling, so that might have had something to do with it.  
“Well, for one thing, I’m being really bloody affectionate. For another, when I was in my room and Hanji came in to tell me to eat so I didn’t starve… I sort of wanted her company, because I didn’t want to be alone. When you were there I was oddly grateful for your presence. It’s bizarre because I’m quite the lone wolf and used to being by myself anyways. And then there was tonight, as I’m sure you’ve noticed.” he quirked the corner of his mouth. 

Levi’s eyes drooped as he moved to stroke his cheek, leaving Eren slightly breathless because boy did Levi have amazingly warm hands. Yes, even he, a titan shifter-aka the walking furnace-felt hot and cold and everything in between. Levi’s temperature was always the best kind to be enveloped in, like he was now. 

Eren leaned into the touch, wishing he could purr like a cat to show Levi how much he liked the attention and gentle touch, that he wasn’t scared of him at all. Although, to be fair he had sort of been at one point.

“And let me tell you something,” Levi’s voice brought him back into reality. He gestured to the book behind him. 

“I’ve read that thing before but it didn’t have the effect it does now. It’s like…” Levi’s eyes wandered around the room as he tried to find the words. “I was the character, and I was in the book. It’s incredible.” 

He sat back onto the bed, folding his arms out of habit as he spoke. 

“I can see it in my head when they describe things. I can totally imagine the freaking jewels, all sparkly and catching rainbow light and shit, and some man or woman reaching out and swiping it from the safe. It’s so fucking weird because I never did that before, I just read the words and that was it. Before the potion or whatever I couldn’t picture anything but memories in my mind. Ah, that reminds me…”  
He pulled out Eren’s legs so that he was between them and leaned forward, supporting himself with his hands that were daaangerously close to a certain someone’s crotch area. Eren shuffled backwards in slight panic and found Levi staring into his eyes with overwhelming intensity. 

“The morning I straddled you… I had a pretty realistic dream about that morning, but it turned into something like a make out session, which I know hasn’t happened…yet.” Eren gulped audibly.

“How can you say that with such a straight face?!” Eren squealed.

“If it helps any, I’m actually screaming in my mind. It’s a little distracting.” he tilted his head, leaning even closer so that his lips brushed Eren’s earlobe.

“Is it alright if I make that dream a memory, soon?” Eren didn’t miss the catch in Levi’s breath as he spoke and immediately felt reassured that he wasn’t the only one who was nervous. 

He wanted it. He wanted Levi’s lips on his and now they were on his freaking earlobe and oh sweet saint maria’s wall was that doing things to him in his lower region and if this went any further he’d chicken out, for sure, he knew that, but he also really wanted it…

Eren squeezed his eyes shut. Yes, they’d kissed before-one that Eren had initiated even if it had only been on the cheek- hell they’d even kissed twice tonight. So why was Eren still so…. Not on Levi’s inviting lips? Why wasn’t he? He could fix that.

“Yes, sir. That’s perfectly fine. Please feel free to-”

“Again, with the being formal…” Eren gasped as he felt Levi’s lips on his own, gently sucking his top lip. 

Levi pulled away, Eren opened one eye to see Levi looking at him in irritation.  
“I can’t bloody well kiss you if you clamp up your mouth like that. I’m not going to- Okay, well I might bite, but only if I feel like it.”

Eren chuckled, pursing his lips while glancing mischievously at Levi. Levi didn’t hesitate in kissing Eren, and his enthusiasm sent thousands of jolts through Eren’s nerves. Levi’s lips were soft and smooth, but his tongue was rough like a cat’s. Eren deepened the kiss as he rolled his own around Levi’s, making the black haired man gasp against his mouth. Levi pulled away, for breath this time (he hoped) and pushed Eren down with a fire in his eyes and sat on top of him, furiously kissing every millimetre of Eren’s lips.

He pulled Levi in by wrapping a hand around his neck, causing Levi to send a hot breath of air in his mouth. His kisses became even faster until his mouth was barely on Eren’s because he was going so damn fast.

Oh geez, Eren wanted to be kissed, not have his mouth sucked off bit by bit! He began to giggle between kisses, then he opened his mouth in a belly laugh, the bubbly sound bounced around the walls of the room. Levi stopped in his movements, his lips were bright and raw, his hair an adorable, fluffy mess thanks to Eren’s roaming hands and his grey eyes bright like puddles reflecting sunlight. He frowned in confusion at Eren’s laughter.

Eren heaved a giggly sigh and grinned up at Levi.

“You’re so excited, Levi. I just can’t keep up with you at all. Do you really like kissing me that much?”

Levi’s face was as blank as paper as he turned away and ducked under the covers. Eren lifted the blankets up, only to see Levi’s face which was… Well, needless to say, he was definitely surprised at what he saw; Levi’s entire face was red-his forehead, his neck, his nose- and a huge smile, crooked and white-ish teeth showing and all-the biggest smile he’d ever seen on anyone-was plastered on his mouth in a way that made his eyes crinkle and made his cheeks rise and become rounder. It was… completely dorky, to say the least. Absolutely adorkable. 

Eren bit his lip. “I feel like we’re taking turns in being flustered…”

“It happened before,” Levi’s voice wavered timidly. “When you kissed me on the cheek through your cell door, this, whatever it is, this happened and I ended up smiling like an idiot all night. It’s all your fault.” 

After that night, after Eren slept in Levi’s bed with him-not for the last time-curled up in the older man’s arms, they sneaked up to Levi’s room together after they’d eaten dinner, excited like two little boys at a slumber party together. It became a common occurrence. Then, after a week, it simply became a habit. Levi liked routine, after all. 

Sometimes, they go inside the beige room, not seconds after having closed the door, and kiss and kiss and KISS; just like Levi liked it. More often than not, Levi was swamped with work and piles of reports, but Eren would still stay in the room, left to fend for himself so Levi could concentrate. He would end up falling asleep on the couch, with one of Levi’s books in his hands and wake up hours later to find the raven and a hoard of blankets on the couch with him, drowning him into the cushions-just the way Eren liked it.

With the sun beginning to shine into the room, he’d watch Levi asleep on his chest, his touches no longer, or not as nerve wrecking as before. He’d see the bags under Levi’s eyes, rant to the quiet room about how much Levi overworked himself, kiss his cheek lightly and go back to sleep. 

And he never once noticed the small smile that Levi wore after Eren closed his eyes again.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin tries to get over his obsessiveness and Levi is a little more in character.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i thought Levi was becoming seriously O.O.C and I was like no, I'm changing that as discreetly as possible. Enjoy ^.^ I think the next chapter will be EXTREMELY fun (for me, at least) *.*

There were other things much worse than being the third wheel to your crush and his lover. 

It’s just that Erwin couldn’t think of many things to go on that list.

With a slight headache, he sat with Levi and Eren in the dining hall as rain pattered down on the rooftops, or rather, he sat a few seats away from the couple. Thanks to the sudden downpour earlier, they’d had to cancel training because Erwin wasn’t in the mood to have mud in his boots. He was also tired, mind you, and now here they were; re-learning the formations that Erwin had thought up. 

He stared down at the oak table, trying not to think about how Levi stood as he spoke and pointed to the black board on the wall with slim, pale fingers, how his voice was low and his words were intelligent sounding. 

Because if Erwin thought things; they wouldn’t lead to anywhere good. 

He’d been relatively well behaved recently, he decided. After witnessing Levi and Eren tenderly…touch one another as they walked outside that night two weeks ago, he’d thought to himself: “Alright. It’s their business now, so stick to your own because you’re in your own world; not theirs.” And well, as it turned out, Erwin’s world wasn’t as big as he first thought.

He never noticed until he made the effort not to, how often his daydreams and his dreary eyes wandered to Levi wearing his cravat and uniform. There was also how often he sought Levi out personally; for work, of course. So he’d had to turn his thoughts onto other things, like other soldiers that needed tending to, his eyes to his paper work and had one of his subordinates ask Levi to see Erwin in his room. 

When those times came, he kept his eyes to himself no matter what; it was hard work, what with Levi being extremely attractive like the sultry raven he was. But Erwin did as he told himself to and stayed in his world. When Levi was finished with whatever they had to do, he either left to go and do whatever with Eren, to clean. If he didn‘t, if he happened to hover for a few minutes too long in tense silence; Erwin would force himself to politely dismiss him with a “I’ll see you at dinner, then”, despite how difficult it had been to control his thoughts, as abstract and technically nonexistent as they were. 

Not that he would ever go into their world anyway. Not that he wanted any part of their world that included subtle escapades to Levi’s room after dinner each night-when was the last time he’d needed to take Eren to his cell? Or even wake him up in the morning?-or Levi reading mystery novels to him while stroking his arm or, or when they played cards together or when they went out to the woods and-

Not at all. He really, really didn’t want to be a part of that. It was an awful world to be in. Far too… romantic… for his tastes. Far too romantic. Of course. His tastes were more along the lines of professionalism. That’s just the man that Erwin was.

Apathy. Apathy was on that list on things that were worse than being a third wheel to your crush and his lover. Because while Erwin demoted his feelings towards Levi as a mere crush; Levi and Eren didn’t care. He’d never told them so they never realized. Who knew if they were even aware that he was even in the room?

Erwin Smith would not be a victim. Not to himself or anyone. He abruptly stood up, his chair scrapping loudly against the stone floor and the sound echoed the now silent room. Levi looked at him expectantly, no, in annoyance and Eren followed with the same expression-except his stare was much more steered towards hatred. 

It was pitiful, to think that Eren felt more for him than Levi did, even if it was negatively. 

And his negativity made Erwin feel suffocated. Did Erwin deserve to die from lack of oxygen? Probably. At least, according to Eren. If Levi could chose, Erwin knew he’d say it should be by his own sword-the same one he’d used to kill the titans that had killed the many of his soldiers. Ones that he’d allowed to be killed by those titans.

He left the room, unable to say a word and not really needing to, trudging down the hallways to his room. He’d been seeing a lot of his room lately. And his paperwork. 

So, so much paperwork had been needed to distract him. He’d done more paperwork in two weeks than he usually did in the average year of his job. He’d even calculated that fact as another mean of distraction.

Naturally, he didn’t notice when Hanji crashed into him-he crashed into her?-and quickly apologized before he saw who it was. That was when he realized something was wrong. Erwin? Apologizing to Hanji? He didn’t like the sound of that at all. Even so, he instinctually steadied her, giving her a quick nod without looking at her face and continued towards his room.

“Wait! Erwin! Get back here!” her boots clacked and her voice grew louder as she called him. “I haven’t seen you in weeks! How’s it going?!”

Even though he’d threatened her at knifepoint, she had the audacity and some strange sense of forgiveness to ask how he was. His shoulders slumped and he stopped walking, allowing her to catch up to him then gave her a small smile. Her face dropped in shock and her eyes widened behind her glasses as she stopped just in front of him, craning her head like a bird to look at him. She shook her head, like someone who’d just been told their son didn’t make it back from the expedition outside the walls; and he’d seen that expression far too many times.

“Erwin, you look like death.” she breathed.

“Thanks, how kind of you to comment on my appearance in such a loving manner.”

She frowned at him, gently squeezing his shoulders with a kindness he never knew she was capable of. 

“You look like Death, as in the kind that takes soldier’s spirits away to wherever, that’s how dead you look. Your eyes look sunk and you’re so pale, even for you. What the hell happened?” 

He held his head up, looking down at her a little bit. “I’ve been doing work. I’m a busy man, as it turns out.” His headache was beginning to make him feel dizzy.

“How much work? More than you should be doing? I know Levi has a bad habit of cleaning when he’s upset, but he probably got it from your awful habit of overworking yourself.”

Erwin shuffled his feet. “I’m not upset.” he told her stubbornly.

“What are you even doing with yourself?” she asked in exasperation, her voice rising in volume as she grew more annoyed, or worried?

Right now, he was standing with a woman with a strong reputation for acting crazy and who currently wasn’t acting as so. That’s what he was doing. What was he doing with himself? A question like that… That had a different answer.

“I’m keeping myself away from Levi.”

“You’re avoiding him? Why?” 

He sighed heavily, looking away from her like a fidgeting child in a classroom. “I’m not avoiding him, I just… I don’t really trust myself around him. So… that’s what I’m doing with myself; I’m making sure that I keep to myself.”

Hanji’s lips tightened before she spoke. “That doesn’t seem to be working for you.”

Leaving her standing where she was, Erwin left and headed once again to his room, taking in the shadows that loomed around him and whispered to himself as he ran fingers through his dirtying hair: “Apparently it’s not.”

\---

The next morning, Levi woke up and it was like he was seeing in black and white.

Again. 

Once upon a time, there had been no colour to his world and that had changed when he took the potion, and for two weeks afterwards. So why this again? He surveyed his room, taking into account that Eren was still asleep beside him, noticing that his brown hair was greasy and that his breath was probably awful; but lately he’d been ignoring things like that. 

Eren shifted slightly as Levi lay beside him and Levi realized with that touch against his leg that he didn’t really like what he was feeling. 

It was that uncomfortable feeling about not knowing what he felt. Since they’d been together for two weeks, sharing the same bed and all, he would be used to their touches. That’s not what his brain told him though. Levi wanted out, because he ran away from things he couldn’t deal with-and yes, there were things that even Humanity’s Strongest couldn’t handle. Things like burning sensations in his stomach. 

And although he’d felt it before, he couldn’t place what it was or what it meant. The feeling wasn’t real though, and it confused him. Burning? Why burning? How could it be burning? Something like that was impossible. Whatever it was, he wanted it to go away and by the looks of it, Eren was the cause. 

So he slipped out the white sheets, cleaned his teeth in the bathroom above the porcelain sink. 

He wanted to leave the room but something told him that Eren wouldn’t like it. Eren would end up feeling the mixing pot of emotions, something that Levi had felt before, and he was torn between leaving the room for his own sake and staying with Eren for his. 

Levi groaned, because apparently two weeks of a person’s life meant something when it involved another person, and he slid back into the warm sheets with Eren, facing away from the younger man. He’d have to find that shitty glasses again and ask what the hell was going on.

Green eyes. He knew Eren had green eyes, but had there been something more when he’d had the potion? And his hair, his kisses, they had sent weird feelings into him, but he couldn’t give them names because the memories of them were all mixed together until they were all just an indescribable blob. He couldn’t describe them… because… what words could be used to describe a feeling? It was like trying to explain a colour to a blind person. 

Levi thought about what it might be like to sit beside a blind person, telling them… a colour? But when he closed his eyes, all he saw was black. He frowned. Why black? Before there had been pictures, so… black? Was that what it was like to describe a colour to a blind person? His head was beginning to ache as he laid it on his pillow. That weird ache that wasn’t there but somehow still was.

“Hey, wake up brat.” he said to Eren, turning around and shaking him by the shoulder.

“Mmmn.” came the reply from under the heap of blankets.

He frowned at the brunette, sitting up in the bed, shifting the covers off of Eren who shivered.

Eren scrunched his nose. “Hey…! ‘s cold! Get back here.” 

He grabbed Levi by his side and Levi stiffened at the touch, feeling a lurch inside his stomach. Nausea? But how could he be feeling sick? Oh, it was probably hunger then. But it was Eren making it worse? He grimaced slightly as Eren caressed his cheek with his other hand, and let Eren guide him so that he was lying down again. Eren’s eyes opened and his mouth turned downwards.

“What’s the matter Levi?”

“I don’t know. I think I’m going to have to find Hanji again. Either you come with me or you make it late to my cleaning schedule later on today.” 

With that, he felt better about getting out of the bed, not really sure why, but at least Eren knew what he was doing and wasn’t just leaving him.

“You’re… acting different again.” 

“I’d say so too.”

“But… you’ve been the same for two weeks, so why are you acting different?”

Levi paused in taking his night shirt off, somehow not feeling odd with Eren being in the room as he changed. Well, they’d done it before and Levi was a man of habit, after all. So maybe it wasn’t so strange.

“How am I different? Explain.”

Eren sat up on the bed, the covers bunched up around him like a small nest. He looked at Levi sadly-Levi knew what that was, sadness, because it was always everywhere-and ground his teeth as though he was constipated before saying:

“Well, you didn’t kiss me when you woke up, like you’ve been doing for a while now. And… you talk differently too, like everything is just as it looks, as if your opinion is a fact.”

Levi felt his face burn when Eren said the word “kiss”. They had been doing that, every single day, just as Eren said. Levi hadn’t even noticed that he’d broken the ritual until Eren mentioned it. He put down his shirt, leaving it on the end of the bed and slowly crawled up to Eren, who looked considerably less constipated (then again, he always did look as though he needed a shit, taking into account that his eyebrows were always furrowed like that) and hesitated while hovering over Eren’s waiting mouth. 

It was closed, if not slightly pursed because it was ready to be kissed. The titan-shifter heat from Eren’s body wafted towards him, making Levi shiver slightly.

Another lurch went through his stomach, this time it reached his throat. Levi’s lips clamped and he pulled back, covering his mouth with the back of his hand. For Eren, he didn’t feel good for Eren when he was like this.

“Actually, can we wait until Hanji sees me? I don’t think I’m feeling too great.” 

As in, he didn’t want whatever nausea he felt to be passed on to Eren. Was it nausea? His stomach had lurched, but not in the same way and he couldn’t taste acid of any sort. Plus, this wouldn’t be what Eren wanted at all, not when it was so strange for Levi when it shouldn’t have been. Would it have been? If he had kissed Eren, what would it have been like?

He returned to undressing, now slightly more aware of the bright eyes that were trained on him, but unaware that the boy wore a pained expression. 

Because it wasn’t as if Levi knew what that was. Or what it meant. Or why he wore it. 

Not this Levi, anyway.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically; how insane can i make this chapter. That's it, that's the whole chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY DRIVE CAME BACK. The images I usually get for stories came BACK. YUS.

Levi was sulking. Over Shitty-Glasses, of all people. 

“It’s this thing with Hanji, alright? She just pops out of nowhere when you least want her to and when you reluctantly go looking for her, she’s gone as though she never existed to begin with.”

Petra tutted at Levi in a very motherly manner, and Levi had his arms folded moodily as he leant against the passageway wall just outside the dining hall. The blonde woman breathed a short laugh.

“Hanji’s not gone, she only went to give the higher ups an overview of the training and experiments. The month’s almost up, after all. I’m sure she’ll be back by tomorrow.”

Levi stood up straight again and his clothed back scraped against the stone wall; his conversations with Petra never really lasted long, that’s how it was between them. It definitely wasn’t due to his social ineptness. He made his way to the dining hall, where Eren was sitting with his bowl of soup, given to him by Erd. The morning light filtered through the panelled window, sending beams of light onto Eren’s face where he was sitting by himself at the table, while the others sat at the sides; together. 

He paused for a moment just as he was about to walk inside. He remembered that in his bedroom one time, Eren had told him he was worried that people would feel isolated if he sat next to them. Levi had ruffled his hair and told him he was speaking nonsense, but now he was wondering what had driven the boy to believe that. 

Levi wandered into the store room to grab a loaf of bread-he wasn’t really that hungry-and poured himself some tea before coming back into the hall, seeing Eren look down at his omelette-which Levi knew he was sick of eating and didn’t understand why they liked eggs so much (Levi had explained it was because they’d used Assassin’s eggs a few years back). Pulling out a chair at the opposite end of the table he sat down in it and put down his tea, holding his bread in his hand. 

The elite soldiers were talking and Levi ignored them, or rather, he couldn’t stop looking toward Eren and was thinking too much to speak. Meanwhile, Eren was being quiet. Way too quiet. Granted, it was probably because Levi hadn’t kissed him that morning, he knew that, but why was he still sad? How long was sadness supposed to last? He looked at Eren for some time, watching as he picked at the omelette and chomped at the bread he had. Levi’s eye twitched when he noticed crumbs on Eren’s mouth. Wipe it away, Eren, he just had to wipe it away and all would be well… 

Levi felt his eyebrows quirk and he unconsciously leaned forward when he saw Eren wash down the food with a gulp of water, then proceeded to lick his lips and the noise people make after they drink something, the weird, outward gasp or something. He turned his head sharply, looking away from the pink lipped boy. (Of course they were pink, a lot of people had pink lips; nothing new there.)

“Eren, your mouth is a mess, clean yourself up.” Levi spat at him. 

Eren’s shoulder’s hunched over as he wiped his mouth with his sleeve-or was about to then used the hanker-chief on the table, he knew better by now-and Levi went back to his tea which had cooled down. He frowned at his drink. He liked it hot, not lukewarm. 

Fuck it. He sighed harshly and the sound echoed the room, making everyone quieten down and the noise of cutlery against dishes stop. 

“Is everything alright, sir?” asked Erd.

Eren looked up at Levi with wide eyes-he really did have huge eyes, didn’t he?-and he opened his mouth to speak, but never did. Levi ignored Erd’s question and looked directly at Eren, his grey eyes boring into startled, bright green orbs. 

“After my meeting with Erwin later on today, I want you to meet me outside his room.” 

He wasn’t stupid. If he said it was to “talk”, Eren would definitely cry or something. He’d noticed in his training days that girls did that, they’d gone running across the barracks in tears after the mention of the phrase “we need to talk” and a meeting, a break up, probably. Levi was a fast learner, even if he had no idea what was going on. That proved well for him in battle and it did as well for him now, because Eren nodded with a “Yes sir.” 

It couldn’t have annoyed Levi more. 

He kept doing that all day. Being quiet, that is. And Levi kept noticing how many habits were being broken. They hadn’t kissed in the morning, Eren hadn’t nudged him playfully on his way to the stables to clean up, he hadn’t smiled when Levi deadpanned a couple of subtle jokes-not a shit eating grin or a sweet perk in the corners of his lips was seen (“sweet” was a positive adjective used to describe children, wasn’t it? Eren was a child, though lately he hadn’t really been acting like one.) Was it Levi‘s fault?. 

Though there had been that moment in the hallway when Eren had reached out to touch him on the arm, looked at him strangely, then seemed to think better of the gesture. Levi was really confused, something he’d been familiarized with far too much recently; he’d backed away from Eren that morning at the proposal of a kiss, and yet there he was, wondering why Eren hadn’t touched him, why he had instead hovered with twitching fingers until he brought them back to his side and returned to cleaning the windows, not finishing his sentence as he’d been talking about the plan for the rest of the day. 

And even that was odd, because for some reason Levi noticed that this wasn’t what they usually talked about. He didn’t really know what they did talk about, when they were together, but-

Were they together? As in, “together-together”, as Auruo had once put it?

Eren thought so, since Levi had told him and he’d apparently been okay with that. 

But did Eren still think so?

Levi ground his teeth as he was forced to walk to Erwin’s office, leaving too many questions behind him with Eren, who was left with his cloth and bucket and the windows to clean. 

\---

Levi was relieved; some time later, to find the kettle brewing when he walked into Erwin’s room, leaving the door opens behind him to air out the room. He really didn’t like going in there. It was clean, it was tidy-they were two very different things- but there was a salty, bitter smell that lingered and sometimes he stayed behind after meetings to try and figure out what the hell it was because it was really damn annoying to not know what it was. Some kind of food? A stale one at that, surely, but he never wanted to bring it up. 

Hanji was the only one lucky enough to have an entire room as an office. She needed it though, seeing as she was just that messy, what with paper absolutely everywhere and all over the floor, half of them yellowing with a good ten years of age or more. Erwin had his desk, just as Levi did, except he kept his papers in folders, whereas Levi kept them in neat piles. He scoffed to himself upon seeing them as he sat down in the couch with his arm slung over the back; waiting for Erwin to come through from the kitchen (he really needed his tea goddammit). 

He’d never liked Erwin. Never. There had been a few bonding opportunities but Levi had never given into the pressure of having to be friendly to someone. Erwin did though, and so that was why he came through to the living room, that was also technically his bedroom, seeing as his bed was in the corner of the dark walled room. Burgundy, was it? 

Instead of sitting beside him on the couch, Erwin sat in the wooden chair he usually kept for guests, “unwanted visitors” as Levi put it. Erwin carried the teacups in his hands-holding it by the handle holding it by the handle holding it by the handle-and Levi grasped it in his hands by the rim with his teeth almost melded together in his mouth. Erwin didn’t seem to notice his fingers trembling and he began to talk about boring things. Work. Boring work. 

Erwin’s voice drawled like the lawyer’s had done before the court meeting with Eren (that had been a very, very long day for him), low and monotone-Levi was like that too, but Erwin could at least help it. This was the voice he reserved for work things. He’d been doing it for some time now; it had started some time after they’d gotten used to being in the castle. Levi nodded here and there in the one-sided conversation, reminding himself to pay attention when catching himself thinking of Eren again; he didn’t want Erwin to get away with anything dirty, after all.

In boredom, he sipped his tea away, it was surprisingly good stuff and he sloshed the warm liquid in his mouth. Eventually, he let himself slump over, bringing his chin to his palm, resting a pointy elbow on his knee. 

Erwin needed to learn to shut the fuck up. Seriously, not everything was about this man and his fucking duties and his problems with what people were “doing to his formation”. If he wanted them to do it right he should have written it out properly! Or actually write out a decent plan! 

The lines blurred on the paper that Erwin held and pointed at as Levi stared at them, trying to focus on them and he growled loudly at Erwin. 

“The fuck are you-on about Er‘in? This plan is-absolute bullshit. I could take a decent, long and shitty crap by the time ya finish explaining this thing and I still wouldn‘t get it, never-never mind the idiot’ that need to learn this thing. And I-had-to-talk-about a fucking similar one earlier!” 

There was a huge figure above him, standing up, calmly putting the teacup down and he was back up, looking down at Levi with annoying, luminous blonde hair and eyebrows that could clean his shitty toilet out just fine all by themselves and stupid, stupid wide shoulders that made him look like a titan-

He flinched when a blue eyed, hollowed out face and well built, uniformed body came into clear view-well, as clear as it could get when he was like this-

Hang on, like what now? Before Levi could push his face away, Erwin leaned down, stroking his cheek with a sweaty, meaty finger that made Levi shudder and grimace as he tried to lean away, and ended up falling back onto the couch where Erwin could pin him down. He could feel Erwin’s slimy tea breath on his face and it was really fucking gross. He was punching Erwin in the gut, swatting at him, rather, and then aimed at the chest. But Erwin caught his loose hits and pulled his arms above his head on the arm of the couch, trapping his thighs between his own. 

“How many years now, I wonder?” Erwin’s tired eyes were dilated as he wet his lips with a slick swipe of the tongue.

“Get the fuck off of me right now you shitty, perverted man-handler.” 

Levi bucked his hips up, trying to get his knee up to hit Erwin in the stomach, only making the older man grunt in pleasure like the disgusting masochist he was and grab at his chin. 

With that; Erwin roughly put his lips against the ones that had been torturing him-pleasuring him?-with sharp insults since the day they’d met.

Levi froze in his position. He’d heard a noise, like a wounded animal-Erwin looked up to see what it was with a malicious irritancy in his eyes and a vicious, innate growl.

It was Eren, standing outside the door where he could clearly see the scene and with a tearful, horrified expression that was quickly covered by his hands as he ran down the passageway. 

\---

He’d tried. He wouldn’t touch Levi when Levi was very much and fully himself, more so than he had been in weeks. Because he’d kinda got the feeling that Levi didn’t really like that sort of thing. He was a reserved man, after all. Ice cold; but not to the touch.

He’d been right. Levi was in cahoots with Erwin, just as he’d thought that time that he’d sat outside all day, plotting various ways to kill Erwin.

Though this time: Eren wouldn’t just be plotting those methods.

Now was not that time though, because he had to concentrate on breathing, on his heavy breathing of cold air and shaky gasps that shouldn’t have had to be there and his steps in the chilled castle because one leg goes in front of the other, not side to side, not stumbling into the wall, making him push himself back up with a deadweight arm, the rough concrete skinning the tips of his fingertips and he was crying. Because of the fingertip problem. Yup. Fingertip, fingertip problem.

Eren found his way to the kitchen store room, having just thought of an idea. In the wooden pillared room, his felt his way through the murky darkness to the crate he was looking for, or just any crate that had what he needed. 

Through blurry eyes, on the floor at the very back of the store room he saw the crate labeled “Private” -that was the one, probably- and he ripped it open, tearing off the planks that held it together, sending all of the glass bottle inside spilling out across the floor with loud, rolling clinks. He brought the bottle in his hands to his lips, taking a long gulp of the putrid smelling and sour liquid. A few gulps later, when he was halfway through the bottle, he realized something was wrong about what he was drinking. 

\---

A few weeks ago, Petra had followed Auruo. 

He’d been going in the wrong direction of his room, his eyes were scanning the surroundings shiftily, so naturally she had to see what he was up to. How many lives had she saved in doing the act, she wondered, as she discovered that Auruo was heading into Hanji’s room? 

The silver haired man never spotted her on his way to the crazy woman’s room, and he left the door slightly open while he talked to her about the training and how Eren and Levi had sparred, how Levi had been acting strangely and that Petra had noticed Eren acting odd for a short time too, about half an hour or so. Petra watched them through the crack in the door.

Some time later, Hanji finished cackling after being told of their impromptu game of hide and seek they’d had that night. 

“Oh, well thank you for that Auruo! That was certainly something I wished I‘d seen and experienced.”

Auruo rolled his eyes, and Petra slipped behind a corner, watching as Auruo walked out of the room, shaking Hanji’s hand.

“Just make sure you get me my one, okay? I’m sure I could dazzle the babe just fine, but it never hurts to have a little help from a potion.”

He swaggered away, and Hanji went back into the room, only to come out again a few moments later.

“Ah, yes! Dinner time.” Hanji said to herself. “Who knows what the hell will happen now! Hmm, maybe I should check on Levi…?” she bounded down the hallway, mumbling to herself happily. 

Petra took the opportunity just as she saw it. With a quick look around in every direction, she opened the door to Hanji’s room with a quiet click-thankfully Hanji hadn’t locked her door, could they lock the doors of the rooms in this place?-and closed it behind her. She scanned the paper littered room, sighing in dismay, knowing how much Levi complained about her mess. The paper crunched beneath her feet, though she made no effort to not step on it. There was literally no way for her to be able to not step on paper, it was as if the floor was made of the out-dated reports and scribbled writings. 

Petra tucked a blonde lock of hair behind her ear and set to work, trying to find the potion Auruo had wanted, or maybe even the one that she’d used on Levi and Eren. 

There was a cup on the floor, spilling with grey liquid, so that was obviously a sign of some sort of science thing going on. There was actually a trail of equipment, mostly messy pots and jugs with the markings of names and notes on them saying “Only use spoonful!” and “Make sure use less than spoonful!” 

She found her way to the wax ridden desk and began rifling through the drawers that were overstuffed with random bits of paper, most of them blank but still a mess, with crinkles and creases and stains all over them. The last drawer was the heaviest and the hardest to open, though it also wasn’t locked.

She pulled it open, only to reveal more jugs and various bottles, but these ones were capped and more carefully labeled but with names she couldn’t pronounce or understand. Bingo! She lifted one of them, eyeing the purple liquid inside as though it were poison. It could’ve been. She honestly didn’t know, and with the scare Eren had brought her the other day, she didn’t want to chance the idea of Hanji poisoning anybody, even if it made them act nicer for some time. And just because Levi was fine, that didn’t mean that someone with a weaker immune system than his would be safe. 

So she went to hide them; she stole away into the shadows of the passageways, hastily checking around her at each corner as she carried the bottles in her arms, the juices sloshing around in a way that intimidated her, making her think she’d spill it at any moment now, or someone would see her and she’d definitely spill it. She wasn’t really sure if she’d end up polluting the water outside if she dumped it in the toilet, so that was a no go, just in case, so she decided on the next best thing and went into the dimly lit kitchen store room and put the potions into a box labeled “Private”. Just then, she heard someone come into the dining hall. 

It was Eren; she’d been worried about him all day when he’d been outside in the cold and boy did he look tired. She gave him a sad smile, twiddling with her hair as she looked at him sulk at the table from the store room door and set out to make him a nice, warm soup. 

When she was finished, she placed it in front of him, not pausing to see the queasy look in his face at the food and went out the hall, glad to have not been caught. Why did she feel so sneaky if she was doing something good? It was just giddiness; it made people feel weirdly fidgety and it had been a secret mission, an adventurous one at that. At least some people could be safe from the crazy titan loving woman now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That smell, the one that Levi had smelled, yeah that was Erwin's... come. Cum? Com? Idek


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin gets into trouble, Eren finds he's already in trouble and Levi tries to make it all better for him, in his own way, of course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! After this, only three more chapters to go eh? I'm sorry for toturing you for this long ahahaha. But seriously; thanks for sticking around. I appreciate that you have been reading this for this long. Have fun~

“Erwin.”

“…” Erwin glanced back uneasily at the scowling man beneath him on the red couch.

“I sober up very, very quickly after I drink.”

“…”

“And while it’s a painless process, I still remain in a very bad mood.”

Erwin cautiously lifted himself off the couch, gently dropping his grip on Levi’s collar as he backed away.

Levi smirked at him, lowering his eyelids threateningly. “I’m in one of those bad moods, Erwin, and you’re the cause of it.” 

Levi’s eyes widened. His smirk dropped. And somehow, even from above, Erwin found that the short man was frightening.

“Get over here so I can beat the living shit out of you.”

“…Crap.”

\---

Eren woke to the sensation of a finger tapping on his shoulder. Each painful jab hit a nerve and made his headache worse and worse. In his startled awakening with his side squashed against the crate, he knew; he just knew that this was the end for him and that he would be told by a hooded figure to step right this way to get to heaven. 

Actually, hell seemed like a more appropriate place, from what his mother had told him. That’s where monsters went, after all. Monsters like Eren Jaeger.

The tapping turned into a hand shaking him as he groggily opened his eyes, only to find himself face-to-face with Hanji and her glasses. 

He jumped at the intense woman’s gaze. “H-hello…”

“This is an unbelievably unsafe environment for you to have slept in.” 

Eren noticed that she looked pale. Haggard, even. He glanced around him in confusion, taking in the tall shelves, the high ceiling and the dim lighting, not really seeing her point.

“If you’d turned into a titan in your sleep, you would’ve destroyed all the supplies in the room. And titan or not, I wouldn’t have been very happy.” 

She looked directly into his green eyes with her brown ones. Her glasses reflected the light, casting a sheen over the lens.

“O-oh, sorry.” 

He grimaced at the idea of actually making… Hanji mad. He’d seen her still bouncing around at an alarming speed even when she had hardly slept, had heard her talking with tense filled sentences when she was serious, but to see her actually angry would be another thing entirely. Still with a hand on his shoulder, her grip tightened as she pushed him, sending him crashing on his side as she saw the empty bottle at his feet. 

The one he’d been drinking out of last night. Huh. He only remembered drinking half of it. He’d blacked out at some point.

“Tell me…”

“Huh?”

“Oh my… Eren, tell me you didn’t.” 

He glimpsed to the side while frowning. “I… di-”

“Ooh my, my, my.” Hanji leant closer to the box, taking a look inside by lifting the lid of the crate with her lips in a straight line. The other bottles had been left untouched.

“This is bad. But not as bad as it could‘ve been, I guess.” She gave a relieved sigh.

What? Bad..? Why? “Hanji, what’s-”

“How are you feeling Eren? Do you feel sick? Does your stomach hurt? You didn’t drink any other ones, did you?” 

“I just… have a headache, is all. And no, I don‘t think so.”

Hanji bared her teeth in a scowl. “It could take longer to take effect. Ooh my, I really need to stop inventing things.”

That… Now that did mean bad news. Hanji was implying that the bottle he’d drank-to the very last drop-had been an invention of hers… And the last time she’d “invented” something, well. 

To say the least, her invention was what put him in this situation in the first place. 

He pulled himself up so he was sitting upright on the cold stone floor. With a shaky breath that had to be forced out, he gave her a stern look and asked what he’d drank. She picked the glass up, turning it in her hands, the action making her brown ponytail sway.

“I can’t say for sure myself, I honestly have no clue what it was. It had certain ingredients that were similar to Levi’s potion, but…” She looked at the label on the bottle that had her scribbled writing on it. 

The suspense was keeping him on edge, and that wasn’t an ideal place to be when he’d just woken up. 

“But what, Hanji?”

She sighed tiredly. “I know for one thing that it won’t do the same as Levi’s potion, but it will still mean having some part of a certain someone’s character…”

“Certain who?”

“To put it simply Eren,” she shook her head sadly. “Since I put a bit of Erwin’s DNA in there, it means you’ll have some part of his persona develop within you over time.”

“Shit.” He said.

“Yes, “shit” is quite right, Eren.”

\---

Since he hadn’t gone to his room that night, Eren wasn’t able to change his clothes or have Levi fetch him to take him to breakfast. In fact, the dining hall was just next door. He could walk a few feet, maybe make his own breakfast for once-one that wasn’t fucking omelettes-and sit like the pathetic idiot he was on his own little corner of the table. 

Not doing much for anyone. 

He would just be sitting around while there were probably people, somewhere out there, dying while he did mediocre things like eating a fucking loaf of bread. 

It’d been a while since he’d let his mind roam dangerously like this. He did so while snatching up a loaf of bread from a shelf on his way out the store, not bothering with the butter or heating it up, and tearing into it with his front teeth as he trudged into the dining hall. To sit by himself. 

No-one else was around, and Hanji had left to find Levi, apparently. He hadn’t really let go of his thoughts, hadn’t really felt this disconnected with the world and lacking all sense of making a difference to people’s lives since… Well. Since a time that he was pretty sure he didn’t want to remember. Not now, anyway. 

Of course as fate would have it, he was instantaneously reminded of all those memories as the short, black haired man that featured in all of them quietly opened the door and walked straight into the room, heading directly towards the table where he sat with his sad excuse of a piece of bread. 

The raven haired man had his eye lids lowered in the way that Eren knew meant that he had been looking for something and found what he was searching for. He certainly wouldn’t be finding a depressed teenage boy… 

Nope… he totally wouldn’t see him if Eren just slouched a bit and tried to hide himself with the fabric of the universe, doing all he could not to feel, not to gulp audibly, not to sense the prickling in his nose that always happened when he was about to-

Levi wrapped his arms around Eren‘s shoulders, who was as stiff as a board in the older man’s embrace.

Eren took a moment to process what was happening. The reserved man he’d accused in his mind of committing adultery and lying to him and working alongside someone he deemed to be fairly evil was currently hiding his face in the crook if Eren’s neck as he sat in his chair, breathing hot air onto it in a way that had goose-bumps sprouting all over him as he shivered at the contact and mumbling incoherently. 

“I’m sorry you had to see that. Erwin drugged me and pinned me down.” Ah yes, excuses, excuses.

“I took care of him though, and you’ll see his state later if you don’t believe me.” He pulled away, his grey orbs flickering on his indifferent, yet somehow determined, face as he took in Eren’s shocked expression.

“I understand if you’d like for me to stay away, and I’ll move away now, just-” 

Eren grabbed his wrist as Levi attempted to pull away, his face contorting as he succumbed to abounding sobs with his eyes and nose stinging.

“Ah,” Eren choked out his words. “N-no. Please, please stay.” He sighed shakily. “Um, you can hold me, if you like. I… I’ve missed you h-holding me like this, if that’s oka-”

Levi’s face softened as he leaned in closer and replaced his arms. Eren took in a deep breath free of hitches as he smelled the other. Because after two weeks of being close with someone, you ended up letting down even just a few of your guards and became selfish enough to want more, more of his soapy scent and more of the sound of his low voice…

“I’ll admit I did get mad… I thought you were conspiring against me with Erwin.” He rocked himself against Levi’s chest.

Levi scoffed at him, sending vibrations on Eren’s face. “You’re insane. I’ve always enjoyed loathing that man. I’ve told you that far too many times.”

Eren let himself relax into the embrace, and his shoulders loosened under Levi’s touch. “You could’ve been telling me that to try and convince me that you hated him, while in reality…” He trailed off, not wanting to finish his sentence. 

“By any chance,” Eren began carefully. “Did you drink another potion? Because… This is a different outcome to what I expected this morning.”

Levi frowned at him, Eren noting the way his forehead creased in the process and remembered the times he’d called him a “wrinkly old man” for it. Then Levi sat down in his lap. What…

“Standing up while hugging you is extremely annoying.” he answered Eren’s thoughts. 

“Now. I have no bloody idea as to what the hell I’m doing. Remember what I said before about not being able to imagine things? 

Well, the same works for emotions, apparently. I can’t seem to get my head around all the concepts of them, like describing them or knowing what I’m experiencing. Confusing as fuck and I normally just lay off it. Today though…” Levi tilted his head, trying to figure things out in his head.

“Yeah, I could see you were unhappy, the frown was a bit of a giveaway, so that helped, and you’re an expressive person, so that’s also useful. I didn’t like it. It was really fucking annoying to see you mope like that, but I wanted to make you better, rather than tell you off. You get what I mean, brat?”

Brat. It’d been a long time since Eren had heard that nickname. It wasn’t exactly on his preferred list of terms of affection, but if it was Levi saying it…

\---

“What?” Erwin questioned the messenger on his large, auburn horse outside the castle. 

“Yes, I’m afraid the only possible time you could see the judge again is after seven o’clock at night tomorrow, so it’s either that, or you wait longer for an appointment during the day.” 

He walked the horse around Erwin to steady the horse, who was growing restless. The horse wasn’t the only one running out of patience… Erwin had to hide a scowl from the pretentious silver haired messenger. That time or nothing at all, basically, huh? He gave the round faced man his best “I’m trying to be nice to this kid” face. 

“That’ll do. Please let me know if he can’t make it, thank you.” 

Erwin turned away from the messenger, who pulled a face to his back and trotted away, and headed back towards the castle where the paper copy of his reopened “plan” lay on his desk, tentatively touching with a finger his bruised eye that was insignificant compared to the damage on the rest of his body. 

Revenge would be sweet at seven o‘clock the next night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully it doesn't seem too mischaracterized... Levi DID hug him... because bby Eren needs some pipin' hot lovin' from his heichou. Plus, he does still care for him after all... Ha. Hope you liked that little tension filled chapter! Whatever will happen at seven o'clock the next night?? Idek :P


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> levi clears his thoughts, Erwin follows his plan and Eren starts acting really, really weird.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. Um. This is me trying to show you that I can in fact write in character! Slightly. 
> 
> If you're interested, I'll attempt to rewrite this on fanfiction.net, and instead of levi taking the potion a second time, he'll go into denial about liking Eren and be awkward around him instead. Ergo; less OOC Levi. I may have been influenced by the comments at around chapter seven. Oops. 
> 
> But now; MORE BUILD UP.~

Levi could easily recall having felt sick around about twelve hours after having taken the potion, the second time it had been only six hours. For Eren, he seemed to wake up feeling sick after the potion and it didn’t go away.

“How much of the bottle did you drink?” He asked Eren as they sat at the table in the hall while Levi drank from his cup of tea. Eren hadn’t been hungry. Neither had he.

“The whole thing. I feel awful.” He groaned and pressed his cheek against the table.

No wonder then. The idiot. He stared at the green eyed boy, exasperated at his stupidity, but only rolled his eyes and continued drinking. 

“There’s probably a bucket in the store room.” Levi sighed irritatedly. 

Eren bolted upright in his chair, ramrod straight, although his face was tinted green. “I’ll be fine, sir! I can still train!”

The weather seemed to have other ideas, however. Just as it had been a day ago, it was raining. The castle was cold, making the stone walls feel like ice to the touch and breaths became visible in white puffs of air. 

Except this time, while the rain tapped against the slating on the rooftops, there was an ominous rumbling from above and the castle was even darker than it normally was. They weren’t supposed to use candles unless it was dark or underground like Eren’s cell. 

“There’s no room to train indoors, but if you fancy getting mud all over your ass when you slip up outside, by my guest. Make sure to clean your shoes at the door when you come back in.”

Even from where he sat at the side of the table, with Eren at his usual seat at the far end, Levi could see the boy roll his eyes and heard him sarcastically grouch: “Yes, dear.” 

Levi raised an eyebrow. So the brat still had it in him to banter, huh? Obviously, he wasn’t feeling that sick if he could sass his superior. Levi let him off the hook, rather than scolding him, seeing as provoking him further could cause Eren to do something dreadful, like angrily shout then puke with equal intensity. Gross.

He was his superior, that much was true, but ever since that lingering hug in the store room, sitting in Eren’s lap and the heartfelt apologies they‘d shared only minutes ago, Levi kept coming back to one question. Did Eren still think they were together?

And why did Levi want to know if he thought so? 

Hell, did Levi even think of them as being together?

But Levi knew he wasn’t one to voice his thoughts, even if he had done for the past two weeks, so he left it alone. It was unnecessary to bring it up, since it would bring up “discussion time” and to be honest, Levi had heard enough crap from people in the past while to last him a good few lifetimes. 

It didn’t really help that the boy’s gaze was on him, when he thought Levi wasn’t looking, and that it was quickly averted with a blush when Levi glared back at him. 

Eren had also said something about liking Levi, even before him taking the potion… Nothing came to mind to explain why he did like Levi. Eren was a good kid, so he saw good things in people that weren’t even there. But he also knew that if there was something evidently evil about a person, Eren would show no restraint in taking them down.

\---

The rest of the day went by without a hitch. Levi heard orders from Erwin via Petra that they were to do as Levi wanted. Levi was pretty damn sure that Petra was putting Erwin’s words into something just a tad more polite.

“Clean.” He instructed his special squad and Eren as they congregated in the dining hall. “When was the last time this filthy place was sanitary? Sooner than your backsides were, I should hope.”

And clean they did. Eventually, everything was spotless (as if it hadn’t been before) and at around one in the afternoon, everyone was given a break. Erd came running in from the stables, informing Levi that there was a leak in the ceiling. 

“There are supplies for repair in the shed, I’ll go get them. Take it easy and sit with the others in the hall.” Erd nodded at him gratefully, after acknowledging his captain’s orders with a salute. 

Why would Levi want to go outside in the piss storm? He needed a little bit of introspection, even if it was something he avoided. Maybe because he avoided it. So he left the castle to go outside. His boots squelched in the muddy grass as a strong wind pushed him side on. He folded his arms across his chest as he marched over the field towards the old shed, the one where “Assassin” had been hidden. What a dumb name for a chicken. How stupid to even name a chicken. 

The shed door was as disgusting as ever as he opened it and walked inside, but Levi had left this place untouched from cleaning products because it wasn’t even used, what was the point in fixing it up? He regretted it though, as he walked into cobwebs. He found a hammer on a shelf that was close to falling down, as well as a couple of spare tiles for the roof. 

He glanced at the floor while searching for nails. The ground was damp and grey, not something he could imagine giving his first kiss on. Levi wasn’t a romantic, not in the least, he couldn’t care about where the kiss had happened, it was more like he couldn’t imagine himself laying on a floor that was in that state. He must’ve been really drunk beyond common sense that night.

To think, his first kiss had been with a teenage boy. Had it been Eren’s? Who knew? He trod over the spot forcefully, making his way across the room to where the nails should have been. He found some, holding the little metal rods in his hands, scrutinizing them while lost in thought. 

“You’re… you’re so lovely, Levi.” He remembered Eren’s lazy, drunken smile and the memory caused a churning in his stomach, heat raced to his face. 

He must be hungry. The thing in his stomach was a really warm churning though, a familiar one too, ever present when he was with Eren. One time, during those two weeks, Eren had explained it to him: “Oh? You feel it too? It must be love, then.”

Levi suddenly felt very, very reluctant to face Eren again. 

\---

Not bothering to do any work (not that he even needed to) Erwin sat at the front door, waiting for the judge to show up. It had been a dark day outside, coating the castle in shadows and freezing all of them to no end. 

He gazed over the grassy plain of the field, a smirk forming on his lips as he finally saw the silhouette of a figure riding a horse. With the rain now beating down on him, he raced outside, guiding the man and his horse to the stables. The judge had arrived early, and Erwin liked him already. 

He could do this; he could use this man and claim success in his plan. And what a sense of achievement it would bring to be able to record that victory. Either that, or Erwin just had way too much time in his hands, seeing as he’d finished all his paper work then written out his plan one night. 

Probably the latter, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Not when he had to focus on winning. 

In the stables the scent of hay and horse manure was strongest, and the hooded figure dropped from his black horse to help his horse into a stall, dusting him of all the mud. He took off his cloak to reveal a plump man appearing to be in his mid forties. That was good. Age meant experience, and in general, it wasn’t youngsters that held many achievements. 

Erwin held out his hand in greeting. “Mr Coleridge, I presume?” The brown haired man shook his hand with a tight grip, nodding with a face flushed from being outside in the cold.

“It’s nice to meet you, Commander Smith. Now, tell me. What brings me here, out into the middle of nowhere and is worth the mud on my legs?” Coleridge’s eyebrows raised in mild irritation. 

Erwin had planned answering this. Hell, he’d planned everything down to what hand he’d use to wave goodbye to Eren with. No, not good bye, good riddance. 

“An illicit relationship between Humanity’s Strongest and Humanity’s Hope. I could go into details about how improper it is, you know, considering Eren’s a…” He trailed off, leaving the judge to his own thoughts. 

Coleridge’s eyes bulged in surprise. He raised a hand dismissively, holding his coat on one arm. 

“Say no more, Mr Smith. Please, could you lead me to the washroom so I can tidy myself up? Then we can call everyone required to the meeting.”

\---

At around about six in the evening, Eren began mumbling darkly to himself. He sat in the older man’s room on the couch. It was as if everything was coming back full circle, that everything had begun with Eren on this couch (and Levi on top of him) and continued with them both sharing the space to sleep on.

Would this, whatever they had, end today with Eren on the couch, ignoring Levi and talking to himself as the potion began its effects?

“Coleridge has some good values on him, we’re surprisingly compatible. I could use him some other time in court.” 

Eren muttered to himself, with Levi hesitatingly hovering behind him. Eren stared blankly in front of himself, as though he could see someone in the air in front of him, and he‘d grown much paler since it had started and his eyes were an odd colour, much unlike his usual refreshing green. It was far beyond creepy by now. 

Levi had abandoned his station at his desk when Eren started talking and didn’t shut up when Levi had told him to. It was really unnerving to see him act like this, as though he were talking about someone that wasn‘t there, and had never mentioned before. Levi had left the room in search of Hanji, and Eren hadn’t moved from his position. Instead of finding Hanji, he’d come across Petra, and asked her to send Hanji to his room as soon as she found her. 

Just then, as Eren finished talking about Coleridge or whatever, there was a bang at the door. Cue shitty glasses running into doors, again. 

“It’s open. You’re not a ghost, you know, so use the handle like a normal person.”

The golden handle on the door moved downwards, and Hanji hurried in, buzzing with excitement. She eyed Eren curiously, standing beside Levi behind the couch. 

“I take it the potion’s taken effect, then? What happening?” For once, Hanji didn’t ask too many questions before finally letting Levi answer them. 

“He’s been talking to himself. What did you do to him?”

She raised her hands defensively. “Hey hey hey, it wasn’t my fault, someone stole my potions and hid them in the storage, and then this idiot didn’t pay attention to the sign that said “no more than a teaspoon to be taken”. 

“Is he going to get hurt? He drank way too much, and he’s acting really weird.”

Hanji rolled her eyes at him, moving around the couch to get a better look at him, cupping his face with two hands and slapping him lightly. Eren didn’t respond, only continuing his rambling sentences. Hanji grimaced slightly, scratching at her head.

“Wow. He’s acting nothing like how you did. I really hope he doesn’t get hurt.”

“You’d better do more than just hope. Fix him.”

She chuckled. “Relax; it should wear off just as it did for you. It’ll just take longer, that’s all. Was he sick at all today?”

“No, but he was nauseous all day.”

“Oh, so you spent all day with him?” she teased.

“I did. What else are you implying?”

She hummed happily to herself, sitting beside Eren and turning her head to face Levi. “Nah, it just reminded me of when you were talking to me about how you had the hots for Eren. Hah, those were fun, fun times…” She trailed off with a dreamy expression. 

“I did no such thing.” he growled at her, trudging to his seat at his desk and swiveling it around to face her. 

“Oh no,” she recalled. “You were “preparing the foreplay ritual” and you made him leave because you got nervous! Levi! Humanity’s Strongest Soldier! Nervous!” she cackled and shook with laughter on the couch, and Eren didn’t even so much as flinch beside her and her high volume.

Nervous… That was the jittering thing he’d felt when Eren had his pants down while on his bed… Right? That seemed to be what she was suggesting.

“Well, see, that’s the thing about being humanity’s strongest-even if it is a weird nickname-it means I’m human. I can get nervous too; it happens.”

Hanji tilted her head at him, eyeing him up and down as though seeing him for the first time.

“Yeah, it does. And to even the best of us, it seems.”

Levi paused, remembering the conversation he’d had with Eren the other morning.

“Say, do you know why I was still acting strangely even after the potion wore off?”

“Side effects.” she answered simply. 

What, that was it? Side effects? He’d made out with Eren like a horny teenager for two weeks because of some side effects? Hid smile after smile and acted like an absolute moron because of side effects? That was a weak, weak answer. Levi thought he was better than that. Apparently not. He’d been beaten by chemicals.

She tugged Eren up by his arm, motioning for Levi to follow her out the door. “Come on. We’ve to beat the bad guy now; he’s waiting for us to show ourselves.”

“Erwin? Is he holding a meeting?”

“I love how you assume that he’s the bad guy, and quite rightly so. Yeah, I heard he called in some judge guy called Coleridge and he wants to talk about you and Eren’s relationship-”

“Coleridge? Eren keeps saying things about Coleridge. What does that mean?”

Hanji stopped at the door frame, raising her eyebrows and clamping her lips together until they turned white. Her voice echoed in the passageway as the trip walked out as she decoded the puzzle verbally. 

“Talking about things that Erwin’s encountered… Acting as though he‘s not here... The kid’s got Erwin’s stream of consciousness.” She concluded with a firm nod.

“What?”


	20. Chapter 20

More often than not, Eren would trail his fingertips along the grey bricks and stones of the passageway walls when they walked together in the morning, like a small child that felt the need to touch everything absent-mindedly. Levi watched the boy’s face as Eren walked behind him with his hands by his sides, never changing his expression, even as he continued to talk to himself.

Levi tried not to listen to Eren‘s mumblings. 

He didn’t need to know what was going on in Erwin’s perverted mind. 

Their boots clacked against the stone floor, echoing in the hallways as they made their way to the dining room in comfortable silence. 

At least, as comfortable as it could be when Eren was like this, when Eren was like a mad man telling himself that the world was coming to an end. Usually, Levi would tell Eren about what they were doing that day, after picking him up from his cell. 

But he couldn’t tell him what was going to happen, not when he himself didn’t know what Erwin was up to, although he had a vague idea, and well, he couldn’t tell Eren if the boy wasn’t listening. If Eren couldn’t listen, that is. 

Levi shuddered internally. He couldn’t even guess what Eren was going through, and he certainly didn’t want to try. 

Levi’s hand felt empty. He curled it into a fist. Without really needing a candle to guide them, they walked in near darkness through the castle, with the sound of thunder and heavy rain overhead. 

He knew Eren liked the light, not because Eren had told him, but because he’d seen Eren’s eyes linger on the warm, orange flame, as though it were his hero, his saviour, from the darkness. 

In pitch blackness, all a person had was themselves. Eren would know, he’d spent day after day in his own presence in the cell. 

Sometimes, Eren needed to be protected from himself.

Especially now, but not even a flickering flame could bring him back from where he was, lost in the midst of his-Erwin’s-musings.

The dining hall came into view, as did Erwin and a short, plump man with papers in his hands, both men sitting at a table at the front of the hall. With a smirk that didn’t suit his bruised face, Erwin spoke first.

“I see you both made it, then, gentle men. Please, take a seat.” Erwin moved to pull back two chairs simultaneously, opposite of where he and the other man sat. “We have some topics to discuss, I believe.”

Levi folded his arms, feeling his teeth grind together as he glowered at the blonde man. “Oh, do we now?”

“Can we hurry this up? I haven’t got all night; my wife and children are waiting for me at home.” The other man-Coleridge?- straightened out his shirt, crumpled from his journey. 

Erwin nodded, motioning with a patronising hand for Eren and Levi to sit down. Levi had to guide Eren down into the seat with his hands on his shoulders, then sat beside him, putting an arm around the back of his own chair as he slouched. 

“What’s this crap all about then? Why are you here about mine and Eren’s “relationship” as Hanji said?”

Levi saw Erwin’s face almost twist into a sneer, about to speak until Eren said with a stoic expression; “It’s so we can get rid of the shitty kid.”

While Erwin turned to look at Eren in confusion, Levi raised an eyebrow in amusement. “Oh really?”

“As I was about to say before I was interrupted,” He shot a dark glare towards Eren, then looked back at Levi. “A relationship between a soldier and his superior is forbidden, is it not? And a titan shifter at that.”

“Having a person who can transform into a titan is completely unnatural and quite frankly, it makes me sick to have the enemy being cared for under my own goddamn roof.” Eren continued. Erwin ignored him.

“While it doesn’t quite count as insubordination, it’s still treason and therefore, both men should be punished for breaking the law.”

“A law that I have conveniently looked up and have already given to the old geezer.”

At the same time, Erwin and Eren’s face contorted into a snarling anger. “Shut the fuck up!” They hissed. 

Coleridge looked between the two men, and Levi joined him, watching them bicker. The judge nodded towards Eren as he addressed Levi.

“Why does he keep talking like that?”

“Eren, he’s…” Levi allowed a small, smug smirk to play across his face. “Eren is psychic, and right now, he’s very much in tune with Erwin’s train of thought.”

Both Coleridge’s and Erwin’s eyes bulged at the news as they stared at him, in fear?

Levi nodded solemnly, continuing the charade while Eren continued to mumble incoherently, voicing Erwin’s inner panic.

“Yes, it wasn’t something he was born with, not at all, so there’s no need to notify the Military Police.” he eyed Coleridge, making sure he got the hint. “One of our squad leaders, Hanji Zoe, devised a mixture and it ended up resulting in Eren’s psychic abilities. And since Erwin’s thoughts are very strong, shall we say, Eren can’t help but be completely in sync with those thoughts.”

“Is that true, Commander?”

“Of course it’s not! That’s impossible!”

“I was also given a mixture, and you can ask any member of my squad about my personality changes over the last two weeks, in fact, I think Erwin also knows.” 

“Well duh, I would, considering I was the one that told that glasses bitch to give it to Eren, and she fucked up and gave it to you instead.” Eren gave a dark huff of laughter. “There go my plans of making you my bitch, I guess.”

Coleridge abruptly stood up, collecting his papers and cloak with a heavy sigh, while Levi glared at Erwin in absolutely livid rage. 

“Wait, sir! Where are you going? We haven’t even finished the case yet!” Erwin’s voice cracked as he attempted to follow the judge, sending his chair crashing down with a loud bang.

The judge’s eyes narrowed towards Erwin, then he apologetically nodded at Levi. “I’m so sorry to waste your time, Lance Corporal, however, this “old geezer” feels that my time has been wasted enough by this man’s petty vengeance. And clearly…” he looked between Eren’s distant gaze into nothing and Levi’s stoic but angry stare at Erwin. 

“These two men couldn’t possibly be involved with each other, they don’t act like lovers at all. Now, if you’ll excuse me.” he hurried away in the direction of the stables.

Erwin’s colorless face was frozen with dread, though he hesitantly looked back at Levi for a moment, then chased after the judge. It was pointless, really. Erwin had lost any chances of winning the man over the second that Coleridge realized that Erwin had indirectly called him an old geezer. A clap of thunder sounded. 

Levi sighed, his weariness of the day finally taking it’s toll on him. He took a glimpse at Eren, who was still murmuring heatedly to himself with a vacant face, only now he seemed to be using his body to express gestures. Eren flung his arms up, his voice increasing in volume as he continued to argue with nothing. Levi decided that he had a higher chance of transforming when he was this angry, so he lead a struggling Eren to his cell. 

As the night wore on, Eren began to become more and more expressive, pacing around his cell in irritation, yelling at the floor and the walls. Levi had decided to stay with him, though he remained outside the locked prison, not wanting to get caught up in Eren’s rampage. 

Though it was hard to hear his own thoughts over Eren’s shouting, Levi couldn’t stop thinking about what Coleridge had said to Erwin. 

Did he and Eren really seem nothing like lovers? 

Were they supposed to act a certain way? They’d both been… vaguely romantic during the previous two weeks, seeing each other at every opportunity, going out to the woods by themselves and Levi had even fucking cuddled with Eren on several occasions, as odd as it sounded. Though… that had been during the side effects of the potion. 

Levi didn’t know how to show he was in love, fuck , he didn’t even know what love was except for what Eren had said about the tingling feeling in his stomach when Eren got too close to him, or kissed him, or even mentioned kissing him. There was other things too, there were a lot of things he felt around Eren, but they were much harder, impossible even, to describe with mere adjectives or metaphors.

He kept wanting to curse Hanji, but really, it was Erwin that was to blame. And himself, for taking the potion again, but that was besides the point. 

Hanji had told him it had been Erwin’s fault before, but neither of them had known Erwin’s true intent. 

That potion had been intended for Eren? Erwin had mentioned through Eren that Hanji had “fucked it up“. What the hell had he been planning to do? What use would it be to give Eren a personality change?

Eren screamed to himself, tumbling into his bed like Erwin probably was, and his voice became thick and hoarse the more he cried into his pillow. 

Not much use at all, apparently.

Jeez, Erwin. Couldn’t a grown man simply calm down? Levi would have to keep this incident out of the reports, otherwise it’d be questioned as to whether Levi was still fit to keep an eye on Eren. Though he couldn’t say that Erwin would do the same, and that worried him a great deal, because Levi was terrible at lying through his writing. 

The look on Eren’s face when Levi didn’t kiss him meant much more to him than the anger he was revealing on behalf of Erwin, though it still… struck a nerve in him. One that he didn’t like to be pulled on. He felt better when Eren was smiling, not murderously angry like a monster. 

Eren silently came up to the door of the cell just then, looking directly at Levi with tears in blood shock eyes as he grasped at the rusty, peeling bars, and it was the most aware of his surroundings that he had been for a good few hours. He hiccupped wetly and sniffled. Levi moved from his position against the wall to move closer to him, and Eren’s shining green eyes followed his movements. 

The boy grimaced, as though in pain, and tears trickled down his crimson cheeks. Levi recalled that there was more than one way for pain to be felt, and it wasn’t something he liked to be reminded of. 

“Why can’t you just love me, Levi? I’ve loved you for so, so long. I trust you better than anyone, and you’re always on my mind, no matter how hard I try to take it off of you. Please, Levi. I want you to love me too.” 

Levi felt a heat crawling up his back, reaching his face, and there was a pressure behind his eyes, threatening to sting them with tears, but they didn‘t, not quite. 

It wasn’t Eren talking to him, not really, but it might as well have been.

It was as if the brat was putting his feelings from the morning Levi refused to kiss him into words.

He reached through the bars, seeing the reflection of his indifferent face in Eren’s eyes, and cupped the boy’s tear stained cheek, rubbing a tear away with a calloused thumb. It was useless though, they just kept spilling out his eyes, and Levi couldn’t even bring himself to wish that the boy’s face was cleaner. 

They weren’t actually meant to be in a relationship, Erwin had been right about that. And technically, it hadn’t even started out mutually; Eren had just played along with Levi’s proposition and Levi had been drugged out his mind when he pretended that they were together. 

“But I don‘t want to just pretend anymore, Eren.” 

Levi blinked, looking upwards at the crumbling ceiling as the stinging sensation spread across his eyes, until it went away. Mostly. 

“And even if we weren’t officially courting each other, we kind of were anyway. I… don’t hug just anyone, after all. And you know that thing, when it feels like I‘m hungry? I only feel that thing when I‘m with you, so you better look between the lines, brat.”

 

The next morning, while the rest of the squad were still asleep, Levi dragged Eren to Erwin’s office. And sure enough, when the blonde answered the door, his eyes were just as sunken and puffy as Eren’s. Levi stuck a foot inside the door to prevent Erwin from closing it, but he never did. 

Erwin didn’t say anything, and just let the door swing open, walking inside and sitting on the guest chair, letting Eren and Levi take the couch. When they were all seated and the door was firmly shut, the room remained silent. Levi glanced over to a whimpering Eren every once in a while, making sure that he wasn’t going to topple over from lack of sleep, even though he had bags under his own eyes too. 

They were prominent on his pale face, like they usually were, except this time, they looked as though they were created by worry rather than a lack of sleep. Though Levi never usually slept much anyway. 

Levi didn’t want to start a conversation, and apparently neither did Erwin, despite having let them in, the reason being that they needed to talk. Eventually though, Levi caved in because it was just plain awkward sitting on their asses and not doing anything other than mope. 

He caved in because he needed Erwin to calm down, once and for all, otherwise, he might never be able to calm Eren down. And for a titan shifter to never calm down? That was bad news in anybody’s book.

“Eren’s still in sync with your thoughts. Your emotions, too as it turns out.” he grimaced at the memory of Eren crying, bawling his eyes out, even. It was hard to imagine that Erwin had done the same.

Erwin gulped. He stared unblinkingly at the armrest on the couch.

“I’m not going to fall in love with you, Erwin. So don’t bet your future life on carrying my ass home, bridal style, because it isn’t going to happen,” He nudged Eren with his elbow. “Whether this idiot is around or not. Don’t bother trying to do anything to get rid of him again.” he glared a little more intensely as he said this.

It was weird, for Levi to be giving Erwin orders, and it actually counted as insubordination. But with the way Erwin submitted, nodding slowly at Levi’s rejection and instructions, it seemed as though the taller man had needed this form of closure, rather than letting himself dwell on the thought that maybe Levi’s apathy could change into something it never would be. 

It was a saying that men never really matured until their forties, but even Erwin knew that his case was sort of ridiculous. He was acting like a jealous teenage girl, heavily infatuated with a hero she didn’t deserve.

Levi was apparently in love with the little shit. 

Anyone could tell, even if that Coleridge guy didn’t think so. He just didn’t know that Levi that well. If only he could see Levi now; the man was practically using his body to shield Eren. He leaned forward and eyed Erwin warily. 

But there wasn‘t any point for him to be hostile anymore. Erwin had, uh, kind of run out of plan ideas by this point, and his motivation had been limited to begin with. 

What spurred the idea to construct a scheme, anyway? False hope? Selective memories of good times during their years of training together? Jealousy?

Erwin was tired. He was so, so tired, and he’d felt like this for a long time, not just because he barely slept last night or because he overworked himself the day before. Again. He’d loved Levi for a long time, but it had been for too long, for too little in return.

“Goodbye, plan “Get Rid of Jaeger”.” Eren said beside Levi on the couch, glancing at Erwin innocently.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically I don't really know how to do endings, there's flashbacks, and confessions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END; I'M GOING TO CRY

He hadn’t really been expecting it, especially with the way they first met in the underground city; but Erwin found himself feeling… oddly giddy upon seeing Levi having just taken down a titan-his very first-and ended up smiling at Levi as the shorter man congratulated his friends on their fighting. 

Just as he had expected… The wings of change was for real, especially with someone like Levi on their side. 

It took him a while to realize what it all meant, and it finally occurred to him one day when he was fixing his hair, looking at his reflection in the mirror as he did so. People often asked Erwin if he was alright because apparently he always looked upset. The reality was, that that was just his default face, seeing as he was a naturally reserved person, and who the hell smiled all the time anyway? 

But the man he saw in the mirror was different to the usual unhappy face he often saw glaring back at himself. His blue eyes were wider, more open as though he was anticipating something and couldn‘t wait to see it. His blonde threads were softer than usual, since Erwin had spent more time in the shower, making sure he was completely clean. 

Most alarmingly of all, his mouth was set in a lopsided grin, and it wasn’t down-turned in the least. Erwin looked… happy. That was what he thought, at least, since no-one else had commented on his appearance. 

It just so happened, that he and Levi were being sent down to the market to shop that day. 

That… was just a coincidence, right? In the mirror he saw his face drop. He couldn’t possibly be happy just because he and Levi were going to be shopping together, just like a married couple-

Erwin‘s face instantly flooded crimson. 

“…Oh dear.” 

When they rode on horseback on their way to the town. Erwin found he kept sneaking glances at the stoic man on the horse beside him. Had Levi always looked so elegant? Even in their civilian clothes, Levi had a certain air of importance to him, in a way that made him look almost royal. In fact, his skin was pale enough for it to look like a royal’s, and smooth too… So smooth that Erwin wanted to reach out and stroke a thumb over the apple of his cheek. 

Levi almost turned to meet his eye, so he turned forward, rambling internally about how stupid he was being and that he wasn’t blushing, his clothes were just too warm. He gulped, body rocking in time with the horse’s trot. 

Why did realizing your feelings for someone instantly make you think differently about them and act like an idiot?

Maybe… he’d been just as idiotic as before, only now he was seeing it since he was overly self-conscious in Levi’s presence. He hadn’t been before. Hell, the guy was far shorter than him. If anything, Levi should be self conscious around Erwin!

They left their horses tied to a tree, and made their way uptown. There were plenty of stalls up on the long, cobbled street, though there were less townsfolk shopping than he expected. He pushed back an embarrassing thought of wanting the market place to be busy and bustling , just so he could stay close to Levi, maybe even have to hold his hand so they wouldn’t get separated in the crowd…

Just then, while Erwin was daydreaming and trying not to bump into Levi at all, the shorter man touched his arm. He jumped.

In a panic he snapped his head towards Levi. “What?” his breathing hitched as he spoke, looking at Levi properly for the first time that day, and Levi was staring back at him with his eyebrows furrowed. 

Levi’s grey eyes gleamed in the sunlight as he wrinkled his nose in distaste. “I was trying to move you to the side since you were about to barge into some people. Normally I wouldn’t bother, but the girls looked quite fragile, and your fat ass would have crushed them if I hadn’t moved you.” 

“Yeah, well,” Erwin huffed, straightening his shirt as he nervously pulled at the hem. “You could’ve just told me to move.” His arm burned where Levi had touched him and he couldn’t stop thinking about the physical contact.

“Actions are more efficient in solving problems than words-” 

Just as Levi was about to finish his sentence, they both toppled over a pile of cages, falling face first into metal bars that were holding back a flurry of chickens ruffling their feathers in fear. 

“OI!” 

An angry shout called out to them from behind the market stall as they stumbled upright. When he looked up, Erwin saw a man marching towards them. He had a long, tangled grey beard that looked like the roots from the bottom of a lake and bushy eyebrows that were even bigger than his own. His jaw jutted forward in an attempt to appear fearsome, and Erwin had to stifle a laugh.

“You jus’ lost me one ah ma best birds! Go get her, you bastards! Otherwise, there’ll be hell t’ pay!” His accent was strong, much like the other townsfolk in the area. 

“I apologise for the mishap. Of course we’ll get your livestock back, sir.” Erwin nodded at the angry old man, taking the empty cage from where it had fallen from the table. “Right, Levi?” He shivered as heat crawled up his back, enjoying how the name sounded on his lips. 

“Tch, fucking filthy.” Levi ignored him, plucking feathers from his own hair and trying desperately to get the mud off of his shirt and trousers. “Whatever Erwin, lead the way. We haven’t got all day, though, we’ve got shit to do. Move it.”

…… 

(Leviwasnnowonhislistofthingstodo)

“Okay.”

It became obvious that Levi had had experience in hunting the streets for his prey, because the man seemed to know exactly the kind of places that small creatures would hide. Incidentally, he managed to get stuck in one of those places. 

Levi struggled to escape from the confines of his position in between two buildings, where apparently a chicken would want to go to hide. He hissed at Erwin‘s offer of help. 

“Fuck off. I can get myself out.”

“Are you sure? We don’t have all day, remember? Maybe I should get the shopping while you have fun trying to get out of here?” Erwin grinned mischievously at Levi, swinging the cage by his side. 

“Eh, absolutely NOT. You got us into this shit in the first place, so you’re sticking around to find that fucking chicken or I will tear your skin off with a stick from the sycamore tree over there and suffocate you with a piece of string from a washing line-”

“Levi, that’s a beautiful description of my destined death, but do you think you could concentrate on trying to get yourself free?”

When Levi finally stood beside Erwin in the alley, he stomped on his foot as he stormed away and made his way to the main street. Not feeling any pain in his foot, Erwin chuckled as Levi strode in front of him and smiled at the ground bashfully. 

Several hours later, and the two men still hadn’t found the chicken. 

“I give up. He doesn’t even need that one chicken, he’s got plenty more. It’s not like he needs that one.”

As they made their way to the outskirts of the town, Erwin looked thoughtfully at the tall, yellow grass ahead of them. The sky had darkened, and by now, the stalls would be shut. Needless to say, their task was now pretty much pointless, but Erwin felt the need to finish the chase. He picked at the peeling metal of the cage in his hands as he took in his surroundings.

“What if the chicken was a soldier on an expedition? Would you try to get back to base, and just leave him behind, because it was his own fault for getting lost? Let his inevitable death beyond the walls decide his future?” 

Levi lifted his head up towards the orange sky that was now filled with clouds. “No. Of course not. Death should never be in vain.” 

Levi stopped complaining after that. 

They did eventually find the chicken, out in the middle of a corn field where Erwin claimed to hear some clucking and rustling. In the field, Levi bit his lip in concentration as he prepared to capture the chicken in his arms, quiet and nimble as he stalked in the tall grass. 

His face glowed in the sunlight, just as the sun was about to set, making Erwin pause in his tracks and stop to memorise Levi’s face, the colour of his eyes and hair in the sunset, the determined look in his eyes. He wanted to always be able pinpoint this moment, and the feeling that swirled around inside of him. 

Levi leapt forward, successfully trapping a squawking chicken in his arms as he wrestled around in the ground, trying to keep it still. It was the most unkempt Erwin had ever seen him, with yellow grass in his hair, dirt on his trousers, his face contorted from his usual stoic mask to an animalistic scowl. Erwin moved towards Levi, opening the clasp of the cage and Levi pushed the chicken in, collapsing on the floor afterwards from exhaustion. 

Erwin shut the clasp, shushing the chicken calmly as he sat beside Levi. “I’m surprised you’re not going on about the filth in this field.” he put the chicken cage beside him and lay alongside Levi.

“Hmm, I’ve lived in worse conditions. Unlike you, Mr. Spoiled Rich Bastard.” he sneered.

It was clear to him then, that Levi still hadn’t let go of his grudge from when Erwin had been told to capture Levi and his friends. 

And he couldn’t really find it in himself to look for a reason as to why Levi should forgive him. 

But… he still hoped for that chance of forgiveness. Levi was the only person he could be himself around, the only person that managed to get past his reserved façade just by being himself, talking to Erwin in a way that had him back chatting Levi just the same. 

And for years after that, Levi still hadn’t changed. His jokes were the same; scarce, sarcastic and crude. His attitude was still just as bitter and resentful, but somehow caring when it came to the right person.

He just really wished that that person didn’t have to be Eren. A titan shifter, who got special treatment from Levi for a reason Erwin didn’t know. 

In the darkness of his cell, Eren sobbed, hiding his eyes behind his arm. Levi frowned from beyond the metal bars of the door when he heard the boy say, 

“I hate you, Eren Jaeger.” 

\---

That same night, Erwin also remembered something else. Though that memory wasn’t one of his own. 

It was Levi, sitting opposite him in the dining hall. He was wearing his cravat, sitting nonchalantly in the wooden chair and fumbling with the playing cards in his hands. He heard a voice -Eren’s voice- come from his own lips.

“Do you want me to help you sort the cards out, sir?” He could feel a his mouth trying to fight back a smile.

Levi glared at him, though it was softer than his usual glares, and there was a gleam of amusement in his grey orbs. 

“That kinda defeats the purpose of the game. If I let you see my cards, then you’ll know what I have, and you’ll just ask for all the ones you need and end up winning. Go fish.” he smirked.

Erwin felt Eren’s shoulders shrug. “You can’t win if you don’t fight. And you’ve gotta fight dirty if you want to win.” 

Levi raised an eyebrow, leaning across the table alluringly, causing Erwin’s heartbeat to quicken inside Eren’s body. 

“Oh, I can fight dirty alright.” 

He peered into his-Eren’s-eyes, keeping them open as he kissed Eren softly. The heat rose in his cheeks and Erwin felt his eyelids flutter. The warmth from Levi’s face left him as the smaller man leaned back, handing him a card from the deck. 

“So Eren, you got any two’s?” In his hands, Erwin saw three two’s, one spades, and two hearts. 

A thought that wasn’t his echoed in Erwin’s mind, and he felt himself do a double take when he became aware of the emotions behind the words. 

“I hope he will always play me this well, if it means he will look at me like that.”

\---

Levi noticed that Eren was still moping after three days, and asked Hanji if the potion was still in effect. 

The brunette bit her lip as she glanced back at Eren in the sunny hallway, and wrapped an arm around Levi’s shoulder as she motioned for him to walk with her. 

“Hmm, well, I think that even with the dosage he had, he should be back to normal by now. And I’ve heard things…” She glanced back at Eren, who was cleaning the floor with a plain expression, and smiled. “Things that Petra said to Auruo about Eren telling her about the potion you had a while back, how you were fine for two weeks afterwards and started acting strangely afterwards.”

Levi frowned. “You mean he doesn’t remember what you said about the side effects?”

She nodded, now smirking expectantly at him. 

That meant that Eren didn’t remember anything that had happened while he’d been under the influence of the potion. 

And that… therefore meant… 

“And you know, he mentioned wanting to be in a proper relationship with you, but was too worried about being rejected to do anything about it, and he‘s not in tune to Erwin‘s emotions anymore…”

Levi was going to have to confess, again.

\---

Recently, Hanji had encouraged Levi to learn the words for emotions, and to try to connect each word to a specific feeling. 

She suggested that sadness felt like waking up with a heavy chest. 

He’d tried to connect the word “love” with the weird tingling in his stomach, but found he got it confused too often with feeling nauseous and hungry, so that was out of the question. And the thing was… he felt a lot more than just one feeling around Eren, so why would he only use one word?

Hearing Eren’s voice felt similar to when he watched a tree sway gently in the wind. 

When Eren touched him, it felt the same as the heat from the candle he always carried in the basement, but inside him, rather than on his face. Okay, maybe his face as well. But he knew the colour there wasn’t that noticeable. 

Being around Eren felt like the timelessness of a long lecture during his training, but more enjoyable. He had often found himself being lured to his side in the same way he had found himself marching towards Erwin on the night his friends died; it was still just as unconscious, but he was never burning with the intention to kill Eren, as he had been with Erwin.

Breathing in Eren’s smell felt like the first time he’d smelled clean air, the first time he’d gone outside the walls, and everything had been fresh and colourful and free from the prison they’d just left behind.

Looking at Eren, watching him when he cleaned or trailed his fingers along the castle walls or looked away from him or twitched his cheek because he didn‘t like something… 

That was a unique feeling, something that didn’t have anything else to compare it to. It was hypnotic, like music that just made you sway along in time to the beat, but a word like that didn’t fit the feeling, because it only meant fascinating. 

The word “Fascinated” didn’t explain why he wanted to protect Eren, even when his squad wasn’t trying to kill him over a dropped spoon. It didn’t explain why he was thrown off guard, so much so that he could barely move, when Eren had kissed him out of the blue… 

He had somehow escaped Hanji’s grasp, was walking to where Eren crouched in the floor in the well lit hallway - the floor that wasn’t filthy, thank the walls, actually; thanks to Eren‘s cleaning ability- and leaned against the wall as he looked down at Eren‘s dark mop of hair. When the green eyed titan shifter looked up, his eyebrows buried and mouth opened, as though he was about to speak. 

He was confused. 

Hanji’s flashcards with faces expressing different things had explained to him what things like confusion looked like, and they were easier to label when he saw them, than they were to describe in words. 

“I think that when I look at you, I feel love.” 

He lifted a hand to his face to rub his cheek, unsure where to go from there, what else he needed to say, and his heart started to throb painfully fast in his chest. 

Come on, brat, look between the lines…

\---

A little while later in the dining hall, Eren and Levi were sitting, reading Levi’s books. 

Levi slammed the book down on the table, and the sound echoed around the room. Eren started at the sound, about to ask what was wrong until Levi interrupted him.

“The fucking baker’s son. I knew it the entire time. That little bitch.”

Eren scratched the back of his head with a small smile and it dropped as he spoke.

“This is a little irrelevant to your book situation, but I was wondering…” He trailed off, not wanting to continue. Well, he wanted to, because that would make life easier, but, you know. At the same time, a lot could go wrong if he let himself talk-

“Yeah, “wondering“. “Wondering” really does a lot of good, rather than explaining what you were wondering about.” Levi leaned back in his chair, raising his eyebrow at Eren. “Come on, spit it out.”

Eren moved his hands to his lap, balling them into fists and they shook at the intensity of the tight clasp. He stared directly at Levi.

“Are we a couple now? Properly a couple?”

“… I thought that was clear after you started crying earlier and kissed me and got your fucking snot all over my face like a gross piece of shit-”

Eren relaxed his hands, using them to cover his blush. “Walls, don’t remind me of that, that was embarrassing enough at the time. And I already apologised. But seriously,” he pulled his hands away and they hovered above his face. “Are we?”

“If you’re asking that, that means you want to be in a relationship with me, right?”

“Y-yessir!” Eren blurted loudly and tried to swallow the lump in his throat. 

“Then consider us a couple.” Levi retrieved his book from the table with a calm expression, after leaving a hand on Eren’s. 

Ah, the tip of his nose was going red again. Eren looked down the table, entwining their fingers on his lap and cheered internally. 

“Brat. What are smiling-”

“LANCECORPORALLEVI WE HAVE A PROBLEM, sir.”

Auruo bolted into the room with a bang of the door, rushing over to Levi’s side, bouncing from foot to foot. 

“It’s Petra, she drank a love potion I got from Hanji and now she’s hanging off the stable roof! I can‘t get her down!”

Levi didn‘t bother to ask why she‘d drunk a love potion. “Is she trying to commit suicide?”

“No!” Auruo gaped at Levi, looking horrified. “She said… she wanted to “see if she could see any titans from the rooftop” and I’m pretty sure that Hanji did that on the first night…”

Eren and Levi groaned simultaneously. 

Not again.

“You know what, I think I really am going to kill that shitty-glasses this time.”

“I’ll join you, sir.” Eren and Levi stood up from the table with dark expressions, holding hands as Auruo led the way out of the dining hall. 

Who knew, maybe Eren would be doing humanity a favor; no longer having to wait for “eventually” to arrive. 

Eren rubbed Levi’s thumb with his own as they walked down the moonlit passageways. He knew that even without the light of the full moon, he wouldn‘t be afraid of the dark anymore. Levi was with him, holding his hand -willingly- after all. 

He saw Levi look up at him, smirking ever so slightly as his hooded lids drooped further, returning the caress with one of his own, making Eren shiver at the touch.

Finally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember in chapter six when Eren started acting weird during training? Since a bit of Eren’s DNA was in it, he was also slightly affected with the potion, and was made to act like Levi. The same went for this chapter, with Erwin seeing Eren’s memories since Eren’s dosage allowed more than just personalities to be mixed, and the high dosage also explains why Eren was completely out of it when he had the potion. 
> 
> Levi was hard to write throughout this, because he can‘t describe emotions. Apparently Alexithymics like himself are created by either gentic mutations, or by their environment. Go look it up. Don’t you think that Levi’s background explains why he thinks feelings in general aren’t important? (Although he does sometimes) Was he ever even taught what emotions were? Or maybe he had a bad childhood relationship with his parents, and was taught that they didn’t matter? The emotion flashcards are an actual thing as well, it’s called emotional literacy/intelligence (I think) and everyone learns it at some point in their lives. 
> 
> See, when I write a fic, I take EVERYTHING into account. Because if you’re going to write about someone like Levi, you have to take his background into account. And that was how this whole fic started; because the Alexithymia description fit Levi‘s personality. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this; this is now the ending to my very first multi-chaptered fan fiction. (It’s happy, and hopefully not out of character, but it probably is anyway, ha.)
> 
> There were also some common commenters, so thanks to you guys as well for the supportive comments! They really kept me going. (I have to stop typing…) 
> 
> Bye~ (Oh, and be sure to ask questions if you're still confused. Or if you just want to blab ;) )


End file.
